No! For men, rape is NOT the default.

[gollygee]

75. It isn't big things, like whether or not to get married

It's little things, like where to park your car, whether to go to the store if it's getting dark, whether to answer the door if it's late and your husband isn't home, whether to give someone your real name in some circumstances, if you're dating age even more things, whether to get on the elevator or wait for the next one, whether to use the stairwell nearest you or to walk out of your way to a busier one.

It isn't the big things, and I can see why you'd question the term based on that. But it's a lot of little things that we do often even without thinking, and really I bet most women make some decision based on the potential for rape or not at least every day. Some guy offers to help you carry stuff, and you know most men are safe and would never hurt you, but then you know your cousin was raped after someone helped her carry things, and you can't help worrying about whether this guy is like most guys, or would cause trouble. These little things decisions you have to make pop up often enough. Plus the knowledge that if you do trust someone and you guessed wrong, you will have people asking you why you were so stupid to let some guy you don't know help you carry stuff to your car.

And it's less about men you know than men you don't know, so you might very well not see it if you're thinking about your interactions with women who know you well. Like, I wasn't afraid to get married because I know the man I married would never hurt me. But please trust us that this is still a part of our lives.