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bettyellen

(47,209 posts)
79. Why do you assume you know what this wide circle was up to...
Fri Nov 30, 2012, 05:30 PM
Nov 2012

It reminds me of my cousin not believing me 20 years ago that I had to clobber his friend with a cast iron skillet to stop him from ripping my clothes off.
When this guy's name came up last week- I brought it up and he believed me. Because the guys done jail time for assault since. He was dismissive years ago because he was friends with this guy. He wanted to give this guy the benefit of the doubt so bad he wrote it off as me exaggerating or some such and forgot it.
You're 4% pulled out of thin air, feels like a similar act of denial.
Wouldn't be surprised if women in the OP's life didn't share all their bad experiences if you believe it's so rare, or only with true sociopaths. It doesn't jibe at all with our reality. Seemingly nice "respected" men rape too. Their friends are always shocked and loathe to believe it happens.

The many dismissive posts about rape even here on DU indicate that not all men got the message. yardwork Nov 2012 #1
That's true. Like most people, I encountered boys and men who MineralMan Nov 2012 #3
Why do you assume you know what this wide circle was up to... bettyellen Nov 2012 #79
The inference that young women should know the moral sufrommich Nov 2012 #12
that heaven05 Nov 2012 #45
I didn't get a "talk" from anybody... snooper2 Nov 2012 #2
Yes. You were brought up to respect others. MineralMan Nov 2012 #5
This cherokeeprogressive Nov 2012 #35
Same message I got fifteen years later, MadHound Nov 2012 #4
Ah, the contraception talk came later. MineralMan Nov 2012 #8
Yes, that was pretty much the same message I got Still Sensible Nov 2012 #6
that one hits the nail on the head liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #15
This message was self-deleted by its author freshwest Nov 2012 #63
Actually, I think that was pretty radical advice, and very well stated. enough Nov 2012 #7
Could be. My father was, and is, a great person. MineralMan Nov 2012 #11
I'm the same age as you. maddiemom Nov 2012 #67
I got the talk to be careful at parties gollygee Nov 2012 #9
Yes. That's the other side of the equation. MineralMan Nov 2012 #16
This is the kind of story I hear: gollygee Nov 2012 #19
People who participate in such things are sociopaths, MineralMan Nov 2012 #21
Only 4% of the population meets the definition of sociopaths gollygee Nov 2012 #22
Stories like that one are true, and have been around since always. MineralMan Nov 2012 #24
It's a minority gollygee Nov 2012 #25
I have no way to measure the size of that minority, though. MineralMan Nov 2012 #32
There have been lots of studies gollygee Nov 2012 #37
One thing about group psychology, sociopathy, and rape that needs to be considered. Springslips Nov 2012 #55
You're right that sociopaths are sometimes leaders, and MineralMan Nov 2012 #57
That is a good point. Chemisse Nov 2012 #84
But the OP is fooling himself, just because he'd bettyellen Nov 2012 #86
Many of us would prefer to think that despicable behavior is uncommon. Chemisse Nov 2012 #89
Easy way out. Way too common for men to think they shld give bros bettyellen Nov 2012 #90
This message was self-deleted by its author freshwest Nov 2012 #66
societal rules were stricter back then liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #17
Back when? gollygee Nov 2012 #20
this is a good topic but I'm exhausted liberal_at_heart Nov 2012 #26
Cool. I always wondered what "The talk" was. redgreenandblue Nov 2012 #10
i am a mother. i had the talk. doesnt have to come from the father, though that is good stuff. seabeyond Nov 2012 #34
You were quite fortunate your dad spoke to you about it. steve2470 Nov 2012 #13
I imagine there will always be some for whom there is no way MineralMan Nov 2012 #14
My daughter and I have already been educating my 11yo grandson. Thanks MM. nt Mnemosyne Nov 2012 #18
Excellent. Your grandson is lucky! nt MineralMan Nov 2012 #28
If he ever harms a woman, his mother will explode and he might not survive it! nt Mnemosyne Nov 2012 #58
You had a pretty cool dad. Baitball Blogger Nov 2012 #23
I still do. He's 88 years old, now, and so is my mother. MineralMan Nov 2012 #27
both my boys have had that "talk" also. well before they got into a position of making their own way seabeyond Nov 2012 #29
Good job. I knew that from previous discussions. MineralMan Nov 2012 #33
Curious...do you remember hearing of any rape trials Lars39 Nov 2012 #30
Yes. The town I grew up in had just 6000 people or so. MineralMan Nov 2012 #36
Having grown up in a very similar small town Lars39 Nov 2012 #38
I'm sure you are right. The question I was answering had to MineralMan Nov 2012 #39
I did not get that talk from my father RomneyLies Nov 2012 #31
Your Father was a wise man get the red out Nov 2012 #40
He was, and is. MineralMan Nov 2012 #41
I never got the talk. Never needed it. Bonobo Nov 2012 #42
I agree. Some people don't pay attention to what they MineralMan Nov 2012 #43
Sociopathy is not knowing that it's wrong in the first place wickerwoman Nov 2012 #59
I agree, this pulling "4% who are sociopaths" is dismissive and bettyellen Nov 2012 #78
Post removed Post removed Nov 2012 #44
Bull-fucking-shit. Iggo Nov 2012 #46
Post removed Post removed Nov 2012 #81
What an ugly, uncalled-for reply. Perhaps you should avail yourself of the *ignore* feature, apocalypsehow Nov 2012 #69
Post removed Post removed Nov 2012 #80
I win. Iggo Nov 2012 #87
No you didn't. demmiblue Nov 2012 #92
She pulled a bullshit stat out of her ass and I called her on it. Iggo Nov 2012 #94
Your edit is admirable. demmiblue Nov 2012 #100
My father told me ismnotwasm Nov 2012 #47
That old saying never was true. MineralMan Nov 2012 #48
I never believed it ismnotwasm Nov 2012 #51
That is sad. MineralMan Nov 2012 #52
as you said, most men and boys know. but I was thinking about that cretin rivard, whose father niyad Nov 2012 #49
Sociopathy generates more sociopathy. MineralMan Nov 2012 #50
I think it's a little too pat to blame all rape on sociopaths Chemisse Nov 2012 #93
Another note: Sociopaths know that what they MineralMan Nov 2012 #53
I started first grade in 1960... SouthernLiberal Nov 2012 #54
Hmm. I have no experience with Catholic schools. MineralMan Nov 2012 #56
My husband was told at a young age no means no. kimbutgar Nov 2012 #60
Trying to force oneself on another is wrong, too. MineralMan Nov 2012 #62
Bless your father wryter2000 Nov 2012 #61
You had a good father treestar Nov 2012 #64
I often envy my daughter's generation where young women can have sexual maddiemom Nov 2012 #65
Yes. We're of about the same age. MineralMan Nov 2012 #68
It hasn't gone away. LadyHawkAZ Nov 2012 #96
Remember that group of popular high school boys some years ago who named themselves the tblue37 Nov 2012 #70
I don't actually remember that, but it's not surprising. MineralMan Nov 2012 #71
I couldnt agree more that marions ghost Nov 2012 #72
The Spur Posse wickerwoman Nov 2012 #73
Yes, "Spur Posse." I don't know why I couldn't come up tblue37 Nov 2012 #74
Getting it out of movies and other mainstream media LadyHawkAZ Nov 2012 #75
Not Oprah obamanut2012 Nov 2012 #98
In any situation in which there is an imbalance in power, the greater the imbalance, the greater the patrice Nov 2012 #76
Considering the statistics on rape... maybe not most but many boys did and do rape. KittyWampus Nov 2012 #77
I know maybe 4 women who weren't raped or sexually molested. Maybe 4. Butterbean Nov 2012 #82
What a great way to phrase it. Chemisse Nov 2012 #83
I never had "the talk" unreadierLizard Nov 2012 #85
There aren't ANY "all men rape" posts - just a bunch of men bettyellen Nov 2012 #95
I dunno unreadierLizard Nov 2012 #99
Women have explained in detail here that at times bettyellen Dec 2012 #102
I don't know about anyone else unreadierLizard Dec 2012 #106
Glad you had this experience. MadrasT Nov 2012 #88
Major kudos to your pop, MM! AverageJoe90 Nov 2012 #91
K&R n/t JoeyT Nov 2012 #97
Not all young men LadyHawkAZ Nov 2012 #101
Thanks for that, MM. Hekate Dec 2012 #103
Growing up Separation Dec 2012 #104
Yes. Like most people, I went to a lot of parties in college. MineralMan Dec 2012 #105
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