Meet the Predators (men need to learn how to recognize and fight rape culture)

[TeamsterDem]

101. Nothing sheltered about it

I only chose my friends based upon what I thought their values were so that I'd hopefully not align myself accidentally with someone like a rapist or any other criminal. I had a pretty good run of not selecting criminal friends until one time where I thought my friend was a normal person until he got caught selling pills in high school. But thankfully I didn't get caught up in it by mistake.

The difference, too, is I suspect that what you're inferring is that I never heard a man discuss sex with a woman, or that I never heard a man being less-than-stellar while drunk or otherwise uninhibited. That wouldn't be true, as of course I've heard many tales just as everyone else has. Yet still I never heard a one about rape, nothing having to do with getting a girl to pass out so they could attack her, anything of the sort. And even in the sex stories they never had any tinge of taking the woman's humanity away from her, as all human beings engage in sex and that doesn't make them less than human or lesser than the other gender.

So I think perhaps you're thinking that I'm saying that I've never heard a man talk about wanting to get laid whereas of course I've heard that. Yet I've never heard one discuss rape or suggesting that women owed them sex or were any lesser beings than he. Mine hasn't been a prudish or secluded life, and we've all had wild times and what not. But using alcohol as a tool to incapacitate a woman was never something I did, nor was it anything I was ever around. Sure, there were frat parties where EVERYONE was drinking, but we never discussed getting girls drunk to take advantage of them. In fact we called the paramedics for a girl who'd had too much to drink and we all grew concerned since she was looking much worse for the wear, so to speak.

IDK, I'm a white suburban guy too. And I've had just as many wild times as about anyone else. I guess, though, my definition of wild in terms of what I did and was around isn't defined by the amount of rapists I ran across; I don't think it's being "sheltered" to have not had a friend tell you about how they raped another human being. Instead I strongly suspect that MANY people share that, just as I'm sure - unfortunately - that many have had the misfortune of experiencing the opposite. Yet I don't call other people liars for their experiences unless and until I have proof that they're lying. It's strange that so many feel such freedom in attacking someone else with literally no proof whatsoever that they're lying, and in effect - instead of listening to that person's grievance about being stereotyped - attacking him as though the issue is him and not stereotyping. It's exactly what men used to do to women who complained about inequality, so it's not really much more impressive going the other way.