The rape threads point to a larger need...revolutionary change in what it is to be "a man".

[s-cubed]

52. Perhaps, as a woman,

I should not comment here, but I will.

I have been married to the same wonderful man since 1967 . That means we stayed married while I discovered the women 's movement and explored what it meant for me to be a woman. The movement had its fits and starts, (for example, women who worked outside the home being pitted against those who worked at home) but few would dispute that American women have changed dramatically since 1967. And yes, we've learned that true freedom means being able to make your own choices, not have choices dictated to you have sociatal "norms".

As women have changed, so have many men. But many men have been left clinging to the world they once knew. My husband is not the same man I married: he is a much better person. We raised our son to be more flexible about gender roles. At 36 , he is employed as an engineer, is married to a lovely woman who works part time, and who takes care of their two babies. But he also does most of the cooking and is very involved in caring for the children.

During my time with the women's movement, we had discussions about how men would also need to change. The wiser ones realized we could not change men: men would have to change themselves. It seems that that is what underlies the thoughtful OP. Some men, like my husband, have navigated the changing roles fairly well. But there are many others who perhaps need help with the introspection needed to define themselves as men in a very different world.