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(18,706 posts)
30. 'RNC Ends on High Note as Ghost of Jeffrey Epstein Endorses Trump'
Fri Jul 19, 2024, 07:39 AM
Jul 2024

MILWAUKEE (The Borowitz Report)—Attendees at the Republican National Convention gave a thunderous ovation to the ghost of Jeffrey Epstein after he made a surprise appearance Thursday night to endorse Donald J. Trump.

“I know Donald Trump better than I know just about anybody,” the spectral Epstein told the MAGA faithful. “Check my phone logs. There’s no one I talked to more.”

Visibly emotional, Epstein said he had never endorsed a presidential candidate before but was making an exception for Trump “because we were so close.”

“Donald Trump shares my vision, my values, my core beliefs,” he said. “I stand before you and the American people to deliver this message: A vote for Donald Trump is a vote for Jeffrey Epstein!”

The MAGA crowd roared their approval of Epstein, who got the warmest reception of the many felons who spoke at the RNC.

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1 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

LOL... Alleluia! He has risen from the dead! NameAlreadyTaken Jul 2024 #1
A,en! True Blue American Jul 2024 #3
Trump: (next rally) "Jesus? ---- It took him 3 days....... 3Hotdogs Jul 2024 #33
The chosen one. Saved by an angel according to MTG. captain queeg Jul 2024 #2
When his long speech drug on even his devoted followers True Blue American Jul 2024 #4
It seems even the FReaks weren't impressed. They're not talking about now. It's all Crowdstrike update failure. nt Bernardo de La Paz Jul 2024 #5
The whole world revolves around ME underpants Jul 2024 #6
I'd like a psychiatrist or psychologist malaise Jul 2024 #7
You don't need a psychologist to process it for you. Irish_Dem Jul 2024 #10
😂 malaise Jul 2024 #15
Narcissistic delusions now in psychotic territory. Irish_Dem Jul 2024 #17
Is crossing? malaise Jul 2024 #19
True, he has arrived at the destination. Irish_Dem Jul 2024 #20
:-) markie Jul 2024 #16
THIS malaise Jul 2024 #22
Revelation 13:3 King James Version 3 And I saw one of his heads as it were wounded to death; DemMedic Jul 2024 #8
👇 Beachnutt Jul 2024 #14
Oh, that's perfect. tanyev Jul 2024 #35
Forget his ear, medical professionals need to be checking his scalp for the three 6s. Xavier Breath Jul 2024 #37
It was a wound by a sword. DiamondShark Jul 2024 #39
Understood, but the writers DemMedic Jul 2024 #40
I appreciate the thought. DiamondShark Jul 2024 #41
The biggest victim in the world liberal N proud Jul 2024 #9
I'm happy to say I didn't hear a word of Chump's speech FakeNoose Jul 2024 #11
My dog Audrey barked when he was on the TV machine as (can't believe I'm writing this!) President. Bumbles Jul 2024 #25
Funny. Mine did too. bamagal62 Jul 2024 #34
He gets more delusional by the day. Irish_Dem Jul 2024 #12
So much drama for a one minute ( if that ) ordeal. Emile Jul 2024 #13
And he hates EVs. Is Musk nuts giving the repubs all that money? Liberal In Texas Jul 2024 #18
Dumbass thinks he's Jesus Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin Jul 2024 #21
Panty Liner Jesus Emile Jul 2024 #24
I am stealing that one! GoCubsGo Jul 2024 #27
🤣😂🤣 Hope22 Jul 2024 #28
Where is the outrage from the media calling for Trump to resign after he doc03 Jul 2024 #23
And Scott walker Governor of Wisconsin Beachnutt Jul 2024 #29
What this guy has zero clue about is.... Hope22 Jul 2024 #26
'RNC Ends on High Note as Ghost of Jeffrey Epstein Endorses Trump' sop Jul 2024 #30
Imagine if Joe Biden's ear had been nicked by a bullet last week instead of Trump. doc03 Jul 2024 #31
Remember this cow from 2004 and John Kerry's imaginary "controversy" over his Vietnam service? hatrack Jul 2024 #38
I.O.W. God killed the fireman because he/she wanted Trump to live Botany Jul 2024 #32
Get off the Cross, asshole - we need the wood hatrack Jul 2024 #36
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