The rape threads point to a larger need...revolutionary change in what it is to be "a man".

[Ms. Toad]

112. Trust me, if you have been raped you don't forget it,

unless it was so traumatic that you blocked all memory of it as a self-protective mechanism.

Just from your few posts in this thread, I suspect that it will be a cold day in hell before she mentions its real impact on her life to you because according to you she was only "raped," not raped - and she knows how you feel about all those lyin' women, and those women who don't just get over it and pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

I'm one of the lucky ones - I was not physically injured, aside from the forced sex acts, I never blamed myself, and it has very little impact on my day to day life, and hasn't since the first couple of years after the rape. I have minor PTSD - mostly in connection with phone calls and where I sit in a restaurant. No one interacting with me in real life would ever know I had been raped - and many people in my life don't know that is part of my history. But even as completely and quickly as I thought I recovered, there were pieces of my recovery my psyche was not ready to deal with until about the 20th anniversary of the date I was raped - and I had to go through recovery all over again (albeit at an accelerated pace). I talk about it here because other survivors need to know they are not alone - and women like your wife whose significant others' think they don't even remember it - need to know that there are people who understand and care.

I find your commentary about false reporting offensive - discussions of other crimes are virtually never accompanied by commentary about false reporting in an attempt to discredit the reality of those crimes, despite the false reports being (on average) is roughly the same.

But it is your use of your wife, and your denial of the reality of her experience, that I find beyond the pale. I hope you will self delete at least that portion of your commentary. You almost certainly have it wrong and, bottom line, it is her story to tell, not yours.