General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Stop Telling Women How to Not Get Raped [View all]ddeclue
(16,733 posts)I'm sorry but a lot of us men would never dream of forcing ourselves on a woman and find this constant broad brushing of all men as rapists offensive here on DU.
I have to say that I have been in the situation on quite a number of occasions in the last 10 years of having been with a date who got too drunk for her own good and I've always been that guy who did NOT take advantage when he certainly could have.
What have I learned about this type of situation in the past few years is that always acting like a gentleman perpetually gets me put into "the friend zone" and that a lot of women INTENTIONALLY go out and get that drunk on purpose so as to give themselves permission to fool around with a guy.
When the guy doesn't go for it under these circumstances, she decides he lacks assertiveness rather than deciding that he is a gentleman worthy of her affection. Ultimately the guy who always acts the gentleman almost always gets rejected for some more exciting "dangerous" guy who won't think twice about taking advantage.
In spite of having learned this bit of politically incorrect dating reality in the last few years, I still have had it programmed into me so long that I shouldn't take advantage in situations like this that I won't do it even now.
Instead of blaming men for everything bad that happens between the genders, women need to stop sending mixed signals to us and playing mind games with us. We men are straightforward creatures - we either like you or we don't and we hate playing guessing games and putting our egos and hearts out there to be crushed by women who refuse to be clear about what they want or don't want.
As far as date rape goes women need to stop dating "bad boys" and stop rewarding bad behavior in men if they want to avoid the obvious bad consequences that come from dating those same "bad boys". I have little sympathy left to give at this point given that always being the gentleman gets me punished not rewarded by the fairer sex.