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DonRedwood

(4,359 posts)
Sat Dec 8, 2012, 02:38 PM Dec 2012

I waited and I waited for help but all the rich people just stared at me and kept eating. [View all]

Last edited Sat Dec 8, 2012, 08:44 PM - Edit history (2)

There is a class war going on in this country and it has been for a long, long time.

The idle rich no longer act as if they are part of the regular population. They look down upon the worker from such a high perch, that they cannot even bring themselves to help a more lowly person in a time of need. You see that coldness that Mitt Romney practically exuded. Starving to death? Borrow from your parents-but don't ask me for help.

I've seen it plenty in my life but there is one time that keeps popping up in my mind. I keep remembering it as I try to understand the wealthy.

I was fresh out of college and had moved down to LA. I took a job waiting tables at a country club in the Valley. Encino, was like, so bitchin! It was a fancy place up on a hill, looking out over millions of sparkling lights at night. Sweeping green lawns of the golf course and lots of sparkly blue pool water. The people at this Country Club were rich and elite. Stars and some big money backers of the entertainment industry. You never knew who you would be serving drinks to at one of their functions. I remember one weekend were I served Cybil Shepperd lunch, Barbara Billingsly (Beaver Cleaver's mom) a drink and Richie Cunningham's father a dinner. It was pretty crazy!

We were required to wear a wool tuxedo, patent leather soles (that became amazingly slippery after walking through the kitchen a few times) and be clean and tidy at all times. You had to wear that tuxedo even if you had pool duty. 100 degrees out and there you'd be standing in the sun, wool tuxedo, holding a tray, waiting for someone to flick their well-manicured hand at their fourth empty wine glass.

We were required to memorize the names of every member at every table we were serving. We would be told "Mr and Mrs Ringsley will be having steaks this evening with their guests, Mr and Mrs Waldport". We had to greet them all by name when we met them to seat them, "Good Evening Mr and Mrs Ringsley, Good Evening Mr and Mrs Waldport. This way please" Very often the host would have already have spoken to them about their orders so
we would bring them their food without even speaking to them very much. Of course some tables were fun and regulars. They were kind and friendly but for the most part there was a coldness towards the staff. Sadly, the management had a similar coldness--the management was always schmoozing the guests--butt kissing, keeping the rich people happy, emulating them as much as possible. The members looked down on them though and they knew it so they'd take it out on the waitstaff. It was a weird place to be sometimes.

The members would hold all of their parties at the club so in many cases you would serve them dinner on Monday, A small lunch party on Wednesday, tea after golf on Thursday, serve them dinner on Friday night when they are out with their friends, basically babysit their kids at the pool all day Saturday and then on Sunday you are head waiter at their oldest daughter's wedding in the grand party room.

And there was no cash involved. They just signed and a bill was sent at the end of the month. A tip was built in. Not a great tip. It was basically a Red Lobster tip, and the hostess/managers all got a portion of it, so it was an OK tip for Red Lobster it was NOT an OK tip for the head waiter for the guy who has been running your entire wedding from hanging out at the pool all day, to lunch to bridal party to vows in room A to a cocktail party in room B while we tore apart room A (in our tuxedos) and set up dining tables for 400, and then shuttled them back into room A for dinner "Mrs Rinsgley, your table for dinner is ready. Would you care to come with me?" And then they'd eat in A while you tore down the cocktail party and put up the dancefloor (still in your tuxedo) and set up the party where the guests would be dancing until 3 in the morning. "We want to dance another half an hour, put it on my bill". Our tip for all of that would be 12% of the food served--hourly minimum wage for all the moving of tables and chairs and dance floors, and all at a runners pace. It was a very hard job. I never once remember getting a cash tip from a member. Not on Christmas or Easter or Mother's day or at their daughter's wedding. Never a cash tip. Maybe to the management but this wasn't a case of trickle down tip economics. It didn't trickle, whatever it was. These people never thought to give the guy who'd taken care of them all year, a tip on Christmas day, as you serve dinner to 20 of their family members.

And there were a lot of drycleaning costs involved in this job. I was an athlete back then, built with arms and legs of steel. 19" arms (the tuxedos had to be tailored because of my stupid arms and chest) and I can tell you that this job was a workout. Dancefloors!! OMG... those mothers are monsters!! It took all your strength to move those huge slabs of metal and wood.

So, my point is, you really got to know the members. You served them on Christmas and Easter and Sunday and Mother's Day... you watched their kids at the pool, you knew everybody's name, they had requested you repeatedly for all of their lunches and functions and meals. So you knew them and you would think they would aid you in a time of need.

But that isn't the case.

It was a Friday night and I was weaving through the packed dining room with four steak dinners and a whole mess of lobsters on a tray up above my head and I realize that my patent leather shoe with the slippery soles had become entangled on a purse strap. Mrs. Ringsley had put her purse on the floor and wrapped the shoulder strap around the chair leg (probably so no thieving waiters could steal it) and now this strap is wrapped around my foot and, OH CRAP, my slippery soled other shoe is starting to slide, and so it happens. I'm a dude, with junk, and 230 lbs of muscleand bones and I slam down into the floor, in Chinese splits, in a tuxedo, in front of 120+ people, with a tray of steaks and lobsters balance up above my head. And the pain is excruciating

And I can't move. My leg is tied up behind me. The diners are all around me so I can't roll out of it. All I can do is sit there, on my recently smashed junk, trembling and gasping with my eyes closed while I tried to (OH MY GOD THIS HURTS) breath. I'm sunburned from pool duty but I can feel my face turn even redder--I wouldn't be surprised if I was purple by that point. My eyes water. I may have squeaked or yelped.

And every eye in room is on me. Just staring. And the lady in front of me picks up her for and takes a bite and starts to slowly chew.

Not a single person moved to help me. Mrs Ringley, with her gin and tonic is perched on the chair that is pinning down my leg, and she just drinks her drink and looks at me over her shoulder. She certainly could hear the dishes clinking above me as my arm trembled and my guts were churning. (I mentioned the smashed junk, didn't I?)

I don't know how long. It felt like an hour. The woman directly in front of me took two slow bites of dinner and chewed them politely while I teetered there. Two tables over was the cardiac dr who I served breakfast every Sunday for the past year. He just sat there and looked me in a sort of disinterested way.

This dinner tray must not fall. It would come out of my paycheck and, believe me, this dinner cost more than I was going to make for maybe the whole weekend. I the lobsters must not fall!

I took in a deep breath with my mouth in a tight puckered "o". It made a whistle sound you could hear in the completely quiet dining room. And I willed myself not to move. I sat there and sat there and nobody came to help. Not one of them. I didn't call out for help. It didn't occur to me to call out because, well, um, wasn't it kind of obvious that I needed help? And then it seemed we waited another hour, and finally the door to the kitchen swung open and out came a co-waiter (My Hero!!) who saw my predicament and, quietly and quickly weaved his way through the tables over to me (PLEASE, Dear God, Hurry!!) and took the tray out of my shaking hand.

"Table fourteen, medium steak is position A," I gasped weakly as I rolled over onto my side. Lightning shot through my hamstring and groin. My front leg was screaming in agony. My junk was screaming in agony, I wanted to scream in agony.

But I sucked it up, I comically slipped on the rug a few times, my feet scissoring around like I was on ice, and was able to stand up and weave my way out of the dining room, still all eyes on me as I made it to the door to the kitchen. Someone clapped a few little soft claps, and there was a murmur and some chuckling. I had to take a few minutes flopped across a lounge chair out by the pool in the dark. I was limping when I came back to the dining room. And my junk was aching like someone had dropped 150 lbs on it. As I served my tables some of the members made cute little comments to me. Teased me. Laughed like we were all part of this funny joke.

But it disturbed me. I made light of it and smiled and was oh so pleasant and nice. But I was really bothered. It was really hurtful in many ways that these people just sat there when someone had been so kind to them for so long, needed their help. I did not understand it then, wasn't old enough to have had the experience to understand all the layers of human behavior that were exhibited that day. But it was clear to me that these people all shared a general feeling towards the classes below them. Disdain. Disinterest. Dismissal.

Not long after that I saw a bumpersticker that said "Eat the Rich". It suddenly sunk in that I saw the "Rich" as something bad I didn't like. I left the job soon after. I was tired of sweating to death wrapped in wool and patent leather. I was tired of the managers skimming off the tips. I was tired of those same managers saying on a Wednesday. "I saw these new shoes at the store. I want everyone to be wearing them by Friday." And so you'd be wearing new patent leather shoes that were tearing your feet apart and were more slippery than ever, for 14 hours on Saturday. I'd been able to take all that but the straw that broke this camels back were the members. They varied from cold to friendly but most just ignored us. But none of them, even the nice Dr, came to my help when I needed it.

Not a one of them.

And I decided I did not care to be around people like that.

And therein lies the class war. The upper class is, for a large part, kind of disgusting and unlikeable and they don't have our backs and so we don't like them. And they are always trying to take our stuff. If they want us to like them, they should try being nice and sharing. If you have a billion dollars, lower your prices or raise your wages. Jeez, c'mon, give back a little.

This has been my little opus on class warfare. I hope you have a lovely day and thank you for reading.

If you have some charity in your heart, please have a visit to Wishadoo. It is DU approved and, in my opinion. one of the sweetest little corners of the interwebs. :0) http://www.wishadoo.org/wishlist/139/help-for-new-engine-for-disabled-van/

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Omigod. What a horrible work Ilsa Dec 2012 #1
Except, I don`t know about you but I do not feel that I am beneath anyone! Sadiedog Dec 2012 #23
Oh, sorry about the confusion. Ilsa Dec 2012 #86
Thanks for clarifying. Sadiedog Dec 2012 #94
The fucked up thing is... blackspade Dec 2012 #135
I think it is all pretty funny now. I was hoping people would see the humor in it all! DonRedwood Dec 2012 #31
I've waited tables PatSeg Dec 2012 #65
True, and time helps to heal Ilsa Dec 2012 #88
I dated a daughter of wealthy socialites in high school Earth_First Dec 2012 #2
I keep finding my opinion of the wealthy keeps returning to that day DonRedwood Dec 2012 #54
I'm surprised the wealthy even wipe their own arse's, they're useless. JaneyVee Dec 2012 #3
The thing is....they don't care. You can like them or not, it's immaterial to them, you are there monmouth3 Dec 2012 #4
A million years ago when I was in college (the first time) I worked in these places as well. Egalitarian Thug Dec 2012 #5
She was very nice DonRedwood Dec 2012 #12
Yes, and those eyes... Egalitarian Thug Dec 2012 #121
Dang!! Still can't get over the wool jackets & leather soles-insane! narnian60 Dec 2012 #6
I worked for a winter at the Caneel Bay Plantation inthe US V.I. cliffordu Dec 2012 #7
Thank you for sharing that story. surrealAmerican Dec 2012 #8
Probably they thought he was paid well . . . freedom fighter jh Dec 2012 #24
Sad to say, some people just don't care BanzaiBonnie Dec 2012 #72
The problem with most of the rich isn't that they're rich; it's that they're oblivious. gkhouston Dec 2012 #9
OBLIVIOUS, my ass. Texin Dec 2012 #64
They were oblivious to his status as a *person*, as someone warranting attention and assistance. gkhouston Dec 2012 #69
And Texin rides in to my defense! Welcome to DU Texin! DonRedwood Dec 2012 #83
It's much more fundamental . . . GatorLarry Dec 2012 #90
Some were fearful they would lower their own status if they helped a lowly server. hunter Dec 2012 #99
I agree with you. I don't see how you could NOT react with shock and concern for a fellow person's smirkymonkey Dec 2012 #120
Talk about entitlement class. Many wealthy EXPECT free stuff... OneGrassRoot Dec 2012 #10
I was a waitress in a good Fish Restaurant in the Bay Area lunatica Dec 2012 #11
Holy Cow! That is bad. My situation was at least somewhat funny DonRedwood Dec 2012 #16
I remember waiting table at a classic downtown bar to help make ends meet in college. It was kind of freshwest Dec 2012 #100
Did we all start by waiting tables? sheshe2 Dec 2012 #132
Oh my gosh! DonRedwood Dec 2012 #156
I have a much worse story but I won't tell it. And I am very nice to waiters, cooks, etc. freshwest Dec 2012 #157
I wish I would have been there. I would have said loudly. > BlueJazz Dec 2012 #81
'End World Hunger. femrap Dec 2012 #13
It's shame I can only rec this once. 99Forever Dec 2012 #14
Rec this instead then :0) DonRedwood Dec 2012 #53
Consider it done. 99Forever Dec 2012 #59
merci! DonRedwood Dec 2012 #84
That's about the way I see them. Just as they are. lonestarnot Dec 2012 #15
A well told story Don. redwitch Dec 2012 #17
That must be what every homeless person thinks of every one of us. dkf Dec 2012 #18
ouch DonRedwood Dec 2012 #20
I don't disagree. We who have a roof over our heads can Cleita Dec 2012 #77
Your post inspired me to write this.... DonRedwood Dec 2012 #85
The "entitled" class.... Sekhmets Daughter Dec 2012 #19
Fucking A. Eat The Rich. The Health Care Industry is full of this type of stuff. Top Heavy with Tuesday Afternoon Dec 2012 #21
I have always known, since my days as a waitress in a very exclusive place, that you can tell Squinch Dec 2012 #22
+1,000 TomClash Dec 2012 #26
I did the same thing when I was single! if the guy was a jerk to the waiter we were done DonRedwood Dec 2012 #36
You were putting on a show for them TomClash Dec 2012 #25
Or he was a malfunctioning appliance that "someone" needed to take care of. Squinch Dec 2012 #43
lol...my mother has accused me of having a "screw loose" before :0) DonRedwood Dec 2012 #44
Seriously. I worked in a place like that. Squinch Dec 2012 #47
Where were your supervisors? They should have been there immediately to take over. Cleita Dec 2012 #27
I got a huge ration of shit here a few months ago when I said that American coalition_unwilling Dec 2012 #73
I don't care. They can't change what happened to me. n/t Cleita Dec 2012 #76
I was married to one and know many--some are like that, sure. knitter4democracy Dec 2012 #105
my mom had her cataracts operated on recently, by a nice young doctor bedazzled Dec 2012 #154
It's not just the rich. Some rich are decent people and some of us poorer folk are real works. nolabear Dec 2012 #28
Since I lived in a place where there is a glut of really rich people, I have spent a life time Cleita Dec 2012 #32
You should have told her the woman was working FOR tips lunatica Dec 2012 #35
As the poster above said, she had the luxury of not knowing. nolabear Dec 2012 #50
"Working you for a tip: Lordquinton Dec 2012 #61
I wish you could have gone Samuel Jackson on them. lalalu Dec 2012 #29
In picture form: coalition_unwilling Dec 2012 #75
Well written, well told, sad story about America today. mountain grammy Dec 2012 #30
Thanks Grammy! DonRedwood Dec 2012 #42
That you fell and didn't drop the tray is incredible mountain grammy Dec 2012 #147
I don't think you can ever paint with such broad strokes YBR31 Dec 2012 #33
Welcome to DU! And, I agree...unless you have a lot to base your opinion with DonRedwood Dec 2012 #46
Agreed democrattotheend Dec 2012 #107
Several years ago, I did some computer work in the home office... RevStPatrick Dec 2012 #34
weakly in their defense--sometimes in a socially awkward brokechris Dec 2012 #37
Howdy Broke Chris! Welcome to DU! DonRedwood Dec 2012 #89
I can picture it! And I have to say that you are an excellent writer. brokechris Dec 2012 #118
Please, we are not all like that lageorgia Dec 2012 #38
However, meanwhile, although no Democrats ever truedelphi Dec 2012 #52
Welcome to DU lageorga. Glad to have such a nice person on board. Auntie Bush Dec 2012 #60
welcome to DU! renate Dec 2012 #66
Welcome to DU and I hope you enjoy the site. hrmjustin Dec 2012 #78
Welcome! Nice to see a new face from the south! (i'm assuming...what with the Georgia and all) DonRedwood Dec 2012 #114
You should feel grateful to enjoy a club and get paid as well, while they paid so much to attend. TahitiNut Dec 2012 #39
Those rich diners sound like pathetic heartless zombies LiberalEsto Dec 2012 #40
I would not be surprised if many DU members... dchill Dec 2012 #41
Well I know I used to waitress. Sadiedog Dec 2012 #96
WElcome to DU! DonRedwood Dec 2012 #115
Thank you! It`s wonderful to be here! nt Sadiedog Dec 2012 #131
Slightly off point but relates to cluelessness of the well-to-do ... Vox Moi Dec 2012 #45
I would like to welcome you and your old sand to DU! DonRedwood Dec 2012 #48
Shoulda told them to pound sand. nt LiberalEsto Dec 2012 #71
As I was reading this I was picturing Ann Romney sneering down at you. Arugula Latte Dec 2012 #49
:0) That sums it up pretty perfectly!! DonRedwood Dec 2012 #51
I see that the Rich and even some of the not-so-rich have not learned this simple rule. BlueJazz Dec 2012 #55
I worked for a couple of years as a bartender... KansDem Dec 2012 #141
We belonged to a country club where my parents did a lot of stuff like you mention (the lunches, gateley Dec 2012 #56
I think far too many people have a big streak of ugly in them. gkhouston Dec 2012 #97
It is parents like you that keep me from saying "All rich people". :0) They keep me from DonRedwood Dec 2012 #108
My parents were some of the gateley Dec 2012 #136
Horrible, horrible situation. Thanks for sharing your story. spooky3 Dec 2012 #57
We've gone a long way down Turbineguy Dec 2012 #58
So the parts about the 'Classes' in the movie Titanic....it was all true?? Jennylynn Dec 2012 #62
To them we are merely livestock - farm animals, like draft horses or dairy cows. The Velveteen Ocelot Dec 2012 #63
One question: ejbr Dec 2012 #67
LOL!! Fabulous!! DonRedwood Dec 2012 #116
Good! ejbr Dec 2012 #150
Freaking wow! malaise Dec 2012 #68
K&R! Wow! Unbelievable... Rhiannon12866 Dec 2012 #70
Whoever made the infamous Romney "47%" recording The Velveteen Ocelot Dec 2012 #74
I don't disagree for the most part union_maid Dec 2012 #79
So... PopeOxycontinI Dec 2012 #80
hey there, welcome to DU! DonRedwood Dec 2012 #123
Interesting stories - I worked at CCs too Patiod Dec 2012 #82
All I can say is 2naSalit Dec 2012 #87
Long ago, I worked briefly at a country club bar. Once I put out my hand to take someone's money. raccoon Dec 2012 #91
Please read my signature line. rhett o rick Dec 2012 #92
I would never eat the rich. Aristus Dec 2012 #93
Man, I wish I could share easttexaslefty Dec 2012 #95
This is so sad because it is true nadine_mn Dec 2012 #98
I'm in the two percent... dangin Dec 2012 #101
really heaven05 Dec 2012 #104
Whatever you say. 99Forever Dec 2012 #106
But you can't deny that wealth, and the lifestyles that burnsei sensei Dec 2012 #109
Nope dangin Dec 2012 #110
You're not wrong dangin Dec 2012 #111
Thank you for answering. burnsei sensei Dec 2012 #112
Still not dangin Dec 2012 #117
So your stance would be the same as that articulated by burnsei sensei Dec 2012 #149
I'm in the top 2% as well and I disagree with you. lightcameron Dec 2012 #119
I've been here less dangin Dec 2012 #122
I've been on a no fast food diet for a year...I'd kill for that burger! DonRedwood Dec 2012 #124
Wrong again dangin Dec 2012 #126
The OP Got His Point Across Just Fine HangOnKids Dec 2012 #137
wow! heaven05 Dec 2012 #102
my Dad worked for Park Avenue elites, and noted the snobbier cheaper ones were often miserable but bettyellen Dec 2012 #103
You know, I suspect this now. dangin Dec 2012 #113
nope, nope DonRedwood Dec 2012 #125
Our club was a center line main roof ridge. dangin Dec 2012 #127
Is this necessary? Such behavior looks pretty petty. What are you accomplishing by calling OP patrice Dec 2012 #133
Then you were lucky. blackspade Dec 2012 #138
Wow. Arugula Latte Dec 2012 #151
"We did not have station A." LiberalAndProud Dec 2012 #128
Post removed Post removed Dec 2012 #130
not all wealthy respond this way newspeak Dec 2012 #129
My waiting experiences were much the same. blackspade Dec 2012 #134
These are the truly ENTITLED, the ELITE... ReRe Dec 2012 #139
great motto marions ghost Dec 2012 #153
Don't know... ReRe Dec 2012 #155
Can't stand country clubs and the people who frequent them. McCamy Taylor Dec 2012 #140
rich folks and race Steviehh Dec 2012 #142
Great piece. (nt) DirkGently Dec 2012 #143
Although some of the wealthy are not unkind to marions ghost Dec 2012 #144
Rich people see everyone around them as their servants. fasttense Dec 2012 #145
This post JNelson6563 Dec 2012 #146
You have a way with words, what an enlightening story. Thank you for telling it. cpamomfromtexas Dec 2012 #148
This lack of reaction is not just limited to rich people... mark67 Dec 2012 #152
rescuing someone from an oncoming train requires actual danger and courage. there's a fear & HiPointDem Dec 2012 #159
...if you seen the picture rescuing that man would have required a MINIMUM of courage or skill... mark67 Dec 2012 #160
good story. i think most of us have had experiences like that, whether it was being snubbed HiPointDem Dec 2012 #158
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