General Discussion

SocratesInSpirit

(578 posts)

60. Yes, this makes me mad, too.

Sat Dec 15, 2012, 05:23 PM

Dec 2012

There were people on this board saying that even the parents (!!!) of mass shooters should be jailed. Even before I became a parent myself (not all that long ago), it infuriated me how much people blame parents for every single little thing their kids do, as if they expect kids to be little robots who have no will or personality of their own. That's not to say that parents shouldn't discipline their kids, but even when they're infants, you can only control a kid up to a certain point - my two-month old stubbornly refuses to take bottles, and the only thing we can do is be patient and just keep trying different methods to hopefully convince her to take them eventually. So I can only imagine how impossible it is to control a 20-year-old's actions.

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Parents of mentally ill adult children have few options. [View all] Drahthaardogs Dec 2012 OP

Thanks for the post cthulu2016 Dec 2012 #1

Our society is helpless... dkf Dec 2012 #2

I was thinking about this last night and was briefly glad his mother is not around anymore. proud2BlibKansan Dec 2012 #3

I'm sorry, Drahthaardogs. In_The_Wind Dec 2012 #4

I am struggling with someone in my family who has mental issues. It's not dangerous but real help Lint Head Dec 2012 #5

+1 freshwest Dec 2012 #22

+1 Timbuk3 Dec 2012 #66

Similar situation in our extended family. Laurian Dec 2012 #6

A wound requiring stitches would be assault and battery FarCenter Dec 2012 #7

It is imlplicit in the OP that the parent does not view prison as a good outcome for the daughter cthulu2016 Dec 2012 #9

I'm sure prison without treatment is a wonderful way to address bipolar disorder. (nt) Posteritatis Dec 2012 #10

Some prisons do provide a degree of mental health care FarCenter Dec 2012 #14

Pity the overwhelming, vast majority don't, and that you can't pick someone's prison. (nt) Posteritatis Dec 2012 #21

And? Lex Dec 2012 #13

Uh, yeah, I think the point is to *avoid* that scenario. RedCappedBandit Dec 2012 #62

I wish I had more to offer Lindsay Dec 2012 #8

I have that level of mental illness in my own family. FedUpWithIt All Dec 2012 #11

I agree with you. LWolf Dec 2012 #12

true mopinko Dec 2012 #15

+1 freshwest Dec 2012 #25

I sympatize but don't see how it can be done without cali Dec 2012 #16

when the alternative is dumping them out on the street, it's no longer abstract bettyellen Dec 2012 #44

hardly abstract. the fight for civil rights for the mentally ill is very real cali Dec 2012 #51

the fight to increase care and support for the ill and their families is more important to those bettyellen Dec 2012 #54

both are important. I spent five years working for cali Dec 2012 #61

k&r n/t RainDog Dec 2012 #17

I'm so sorry to hear about your child. Though, Lanza's mother was remiss to have a gun mzmolly Dec 2012 #18

+1000 bunnies Dec 2012 #24

How do we know they were hers? Demeter Dec 2012 #32

According to members of her family she was a survivalist mzmolly Dec 2012 #53

Thanks Demeter Dec 2012 #63

I understand completely. MadrasT Dec 2012 #19

PS - I've heard one mental health advocate suggest to lie mzmolly Dec 2012 #20

And that is usually only a 72 hr hold Live and Learn Dec 2012 #42

72 hours ... true, unless the patient is classified by the hospital mzmolly Dec 2012 #55

And there are still limits and many hurdles to overcome. Live and Learn Dec 2012 #57

Believe me I know this. mzmolly Dec 2012 #59

My husband had severe depression with borderline bipolar liberal_at_heart Dec 2012 #23

I am bipolar (Luckily 2 and not 1) and when I lost my medicaid for a while I could GreenPartyVoter Dec 2012 #39

+1 nt Live and Learn Dec 2012 #43

I'm so sorry. You're right, peoples' hands are tied and so are practitioners'. It's terrible. nolabear Dec 2012 #26

I know. :( In some cases, the parents themselves are in danger. Sarah Ibarruri Dec 2012 #27

It is not, thankfully, an issue I have had to deal with, kiva Dec 2012 #28

Yes. It is so frustrating, and another way Reagan screwed this country over. Arugula Latte Dec 2012 #29

In the 80s we went from one extreme to the other... Odin2005 Dec 2012 #30

Exactly. The solution will not be easy and patient's rights must be Live and Learn Dec 2012 #46

Choosing between the two is difficult... bobclark86 Dec 2012 #48

+1 I had a friend that worked in one of those facilities. Live and Learn Dec 2012 #58

I have a severely autistic aunt who was warehoused in an institution for years. Odin2005 Dec 2012 #64

This message was self-deleted by its author greymattermom Dec 2012 #31

I understand you & I sympathize with you,,,,, Helpless is the right word for the feeling. KarenS Dec 2012 #33

I hope you get support and care EmeraldCityGrl Dec 2012 #34

I know the feeling of helplessness. dinger130 Dec 2012 #35

My nephew has the same condition, Dinger PlanetBev Dec 2012 #47

Yes, this makes me mad, too. SocratesInSpirit Dec 2012 #60

We definitely need to give the families of mentally ill members more resources and Cleita Dec 2012 #36

Helpless cate94 Dec 2012 #37

My son is Bipolar II AldoLeopold Dec 2012 #38

Glad you found a way to help your son. And I hope the USAG kicks your state's butt. GreenPartyVoter Dec 2012 #40

Me too AldoLeopold Dec 2012 #41

It's a shame how ill equiped we are to deal with mental illness. BobbyBoring Dec 2012 #45

My brother is paranoid schizophrenic... socalgal58 Dec 2012 #49

I know somebody bobclark86 Dec 2012 #50

Thank you for your post. Yes, you have to Ilsa Dec 2012 #52

Which is why, at this point in the game, we have made her leave the house. Drahthaardogs Dec 2012 #56

Thank you for posting this Timbuk3 Dec 2012 #65

K&R'd. Great thread; thanks to all. snot Dec 2012 #67

I understand in more ways than one hellenkouf Mar 2013 #68

Welcome to DU and best wishes to you and yours. uppityperson Mar 2013 #69