"I don't want to connect my coffee machine to the wifi network."

[DFW]

72. Too late. It's too much to ask.

When I get my mail from the States, it's 90% requests for money. Candidates I've heard of. Candidates I've never heard of. "Organizations" I've definitely never heard of. "Save the Millipedes," etc. A post office box in Nowheresville, Idaho. Send money! Preferably over the internet, and DEFINITELY don't forget to give us your credit card info! Make it monthly! Actually, don't bother. We'll automatically check the "make it monthly" box for you, and it's up to you to uncheck it, and call you stupid if you didn't catch that (one of the several reasons I don't use Act Blue any more).

Some of the envelopes say "non-profit organization," but don't say which, and don't have return addresses. Open it up, and contribute to the Indiana society to save church mice. Give them $5, and get bombarded with requests for money for the societies to save church mice located in the other 49 states plus Guam and Puerto Rico.

At least the paper recyclers here love me.