Typical example of college writing I see

[ancianita]

40. Given that we know it's a test, and given that first drafts are always full of errors that only editing time can help,

Given that even the best published writers need editors for real reasons, I wouldn't say that any timed test is a representative or fair assessment of these students' writing.

This is my professional opinion as a past English teacher (college major concentration in writing and rhetoric) of a) college bonehead writing 101 and level 300 English Dept World Literature, and
b) high school juniors, seniors, who were taught the
-- logic in sentence structure,
-- paragraph development and definition,
-- first draft essay organizing methods,
-- rewriting/crafting their essays for an audience assumed as a) their class peers, and b) the adult teacher
-- research standards for authoritative sources,
-- organizing what they researched with what they learned,
-- research paper writing
-- creative writing

and all the relevant published English readings that helped give them good examples.

Perhaps examine their other formative writing assignments rather than one summative assignment.
Don't forget, you were asking for CONTENT; you were not asking for their best writing.