an email I just sent to a MAGA cousin of mine. [View all]

[cab67]

Last edited Tue Jul 1, 2025, 11:19 AM - Edit history (3)

Nothing has happened to her yet, but she's panicking and asking for help. She's perpetually underemployed, has a history of making very poor decisions about her own finances, and has some health issues.


Added on edit: some have criticized my attitude, suggesting I should be more willing to help. Ordinarily, I'd agree with that point completely - but I left some context out to focus on a point relevant to DU. I've helped this person many times. So have others. Our help is likely to be wasted (as I said, she makes poor money decisions), and she's always happy to explain why all of us are foolish for being Democrats. This reflects my arrival at the "no more" point in my life as much as anything else.


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Dear Cousin,

I got your text earlier today asking us to put some money away in case you need it for your medical expenses. You’re concerned that Medicaid is about to be slashed and you might lose your coverage.

I’m responding by email because I want to say more than just “no.”

(This is where I included a paragraph detailing previous efforts to help, all of which came to nothing, and the behavior she's shown to me, and to other relatives, throughout our adult lives. I didn't include it here.)

You voted for Trump. You voted for every Republican on the ballot in your state. You brought this on yourself, and I'm not inclined to intervene.

Most likely, you knew they said they'd do this, but didn’t think they meant it. This means you lied yourself into making the biggest mistake any citizen of this country could have made in the modern era. They told you what they would do, but you voted for them anyway.

That, or you didn’t know they wanted to do this. Trump kept telling people Medicaid would be safe. In that case, you didn’t do enough research before casting a ballot. That’s even worse; it means you’re moving through life willingly ignorant of things that matter to you and expecting everyone else to clean up the mess you’ve helped create. That Trump cannot be trusted to tell the truth is now an objective fact and not a mere opinion, and pretty much every other Republican in Congress expressed a bloodthirst to kill the whole program. That includes the ones who are pretending they oppose it, now that it's in that abomination of a bill and they can read the polls.

I suppose there's a third possibility - that you knew this would happen, but assumed the rest of us would cover your losses because your desire to abduct immigrants, do whatever Netanyahu tells us, and raise tariffs that other countries - and not US consumers - would obviously pay outweighed any actual consequences you would personally face, and that because we're all a bunch of do-gooder libtards, we would be too soft-hearted to say "no." I always tell my grad students to check their assumptions BEFORE doing something that can't be reversed.

Sorry, but I can’t help you this time. I’m a lot closer to 60 than I care to think. I also have a young daughter, and my wife – though in good health – has encountered some medical problems. As have I. I have to put my immediate family first as a parent and spouse does, especially as costs rise while our salaries do not.

And even if I could, I wouldn't. Yeah, I’m one of those progressives who thinks we should help one another. But you know what? I’m also a realist and a pragmatist. I don’t have the resources to support you, given where I think the economy is going and what the White House is doing to the federal scientific organizations on which I’ve relied for my work. We’re saving for our daughter’s future and our own retirement, along with the unexpected expenses that arise from time to time. There is no hypocrisy in wanting to help people and expecting others to face the consequences of their actions.

You voted for the people who did this. This is what you wanted. I will not take away that which you asked for.

Sorry.

Oh - and did you ever get your kid immunized? Might be a smart thing to do; a vaccine is a whole lot cheaper than being treated for a serious illness, not to mention the work days you'll miss caring for your convalescing kid.