Everyone must read this excerpt from British newspaper,, it's amazing it's amazing it's amazing! [View all]

[Eliot Rosewater]

Excerpts from The Times of London.

Someone asked, "Why don't some Britons like Donald Trump?"

Nate White, an eloquent and witty English writer, wrote this magnificent response:

Trump lacks certain qualities that the British traditionally value.

He has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honor, and no grace—qualities, oddly enough, with which his predecessor, Mr. Obama, was generously endowed.

While Trump may be ridiculous, he has never said anything ironic, amusing, or even mildly funny—not once, ever. I don't mean this rhetorically, I mean it literally: never. To British sensibilities a lack of humor is almost inhuman.

But with Trump, it's a fact. He doesn't even seem to understand what a joke is—to him, a joke is a crude comment, an illiterate insult, an act of casual cruelty.

Trump is like a troll, he's never funny or laughs; he just squeals with delight or mockery.

And the scary thing is, he doesn't just utter crude and stupid insults: he actually thinks while he uses them. His mind is a mere robotic algorithm of petty prejudices and instinctive nastiness.

There is never an underlying layer of irony, complexity, nuance, or depth. It's all superficial. We see him as lacking an inner world, a soul.

In Britain, we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky outsiders: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist.

Trump is neither plucky nor an outsider. He's the opposite.

He's not even a spoiled rich boy, nor a greedy fat cat.

He's more of a big white slug, a privileged Jabba the Hutt.

And worse, he's a bully.

When he finds himself in the midst of bullies; in that case, he suddenly transforms into a sniveling sidekick.

He strikes downwards—something a gentleman should not, could not, and should never do—and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly enjoys hitting the vulnerable or the voiceless—and he hits them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority—perhaps a third—of Americans watch what he does, listen to what he says, and then think, “Yes, he seems like my kind of guy” is a source of confusion and great distress to the British.

After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him utter a sentence or two, without staring into the abyss. He makes artlessness an art form; he's a Picasso of pettiness, a Shakespeare of shit. His flaws are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum.

There have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of evil people too. But rarely has stupidity been so evil, and rarely has evil been so stupid.

He makes Nixon seem trustworthy and George W. seem intelligent.

If Frankenstein decided to create a monster composed entirely of human flaws, he would create a Trump and a remorseful Dr. Frankenstein screamed in anguish, "My God what have I created?"

If an idiot were a television show, Trump would be the box set.