Huckabee Sanders giving a talk under a tent while kids are forced to stand in the rain.

[slightlv]

46. I tried the organized religion route, too...

it was more or less expected, since there were three evangelical preachers in my family (including my grandmother). I left it long before I left going to church! (gryn)

Then I started on an unorganized religious path. It made much more sense to where I was, and have been, for over 40+ years.

Today, I'm in a dark night of soul that has lasted nearly 10 years. I thought I'd found a way to give me comfort in my aging years. Now, I stare darkly at the inky blackness that lays in wait. Almost with relish. The rest from the stress and needfulness of living when your body has worn out, always on the brink of fear of your mind going next, is in itself, somewhat comforting. Especially when your best friend and lifemate is further down that path than you are.

But I remember a question posed in some magazine back in the 70's that my Mom brought up to me, and I've never forgotten it. Picture this: You're in a completely black space. You can see nothing around you, nor do you feel anything around you. Suddenly, a distance light appears. Does this make you feel happy, curious, or scared?

I immediately told my mom "curious" was my answer. She shook her head, laughingly saying she'd never understand me. It scared her. For some reason, immediately being able to envision that light in a tunnel of darkness was both engaging and comforting. So, despite being in a dark night of soul, I want to believe that energy lives on. Nothing is ever truly gone, only transformed. And I look forward to what that transition might hold for me.