Countdown to Trump selling Charlie Kirk-branded gold sneakers in 10, 9, 8... [View all]
1). TRUMP Charlie Kirk COMMEMORATIVE gold sneakers. "Remember Charlie the way he'd most want to be remembered." $799 per pair, and Christmas is only THREE MONTHS AWAY. They make GREAT gifts!
2). TRUMP COMMEMORATIVE Charlie Kirk BEVERAGE COOZY. Keeps your HOT beverages HOT and your COLD beverages COLD and shows the world that you love nothing more than TRUMP. Oh, and CHARLIE. We put his name on it too, right under PRESIDENT TRUMP'S! ON SALE...$49.95 or get THREE for only $149.84!
3). TRUMP COMMEMORATIVE Charlie Kirk OFFICIAL BEDMINSTER GOLF CLUBS! These BEAUTIFUL CLUBS (many say the most beautiful clubs ever seen anywhere) COULD cost up to $1800 in your local pro shop! NOT HERE, PATRIOTS! Score your OWN set of "WE LOVE YOU CHARLIE" 9-irons for ONLY $1799.99! (Golf bag available at a modest extra price, $478.20! And, why not splurge for ENGRAVING, available at only 38.99 per letter!
4). ACTUAL SYNTHETICALLY REPRODUCED LOCKS OF CHARLIE'S HAIR in a STUNNING TRUMP AMULET! Our own DOCTOR OZ supervised the laboratory effort to MASS-PRODUCE realistic-looking locks of CHARLIE'S LUXURIOUS HAIR*, which are then SEALED in a BEAUTIFUL amulet with the inscription "WE LOVE YOU CHARLIE!" You can OWN this ONCE IN A LIFETIME PIECE for only EIGHT monthly payments of $190!
* Actual human hair not included.
5). The OFFICIAL "RIBBED FOR HER PLEASURE" Charlie Kirk PROPHYLACTICS! Each one PERSONALLY SIGNED by PRESIDENT TRUMP! We all know that GOD wants you to make as many babies as possible, so we know CHARLIE would want you to do the same! But on those rare occasions where you're just not ready for baby number 20, WRAP THAT RASCAL and show your LOVE for PRESIDENT TRUMP (and Charlie). ONE BOX OF A DOZEN is only $54! Plus shipping and handling, for an additional $24.95.
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