BREAKING NEWS: Trump rescinds Cuellar clemency, citing "totally illegal" pardon

[gfarber]

15. The Revoked Pardon

There once was a Prez with a thrill,
Who signed pardons with gusto and will.
But when thanks felt too thin,
He revoked what he'd been—
Declaring, “Return him to prison—until!”

A Texan named Cuellar one day
Found his pardon had faded away.
“For the signature’s fake—
An Autopen’s mistake!
A true pen or quill's the right way.”

Said the President, proud and verbose,
“Quills are best! Let me make this real close:
Our Founders agreed
That a feather’s what you need—
Not a pen that a robot can pose.”

He mused, “I may have pardoned him deep
In a moment I drifted to sleep.
But a nap-made decree
Has no power from me—
Dream-pardons are simply too cheap.”

He waved a notebook he’d compiled,
With tape labels crooked and wild.
“These rules are legit—
They’re all written in it!
(Though the legal world might be beguiled.)”

Poor Cuellar just sighed at his lot,
His bags packed for some nameless spot.
“Though my freedom has flown,
At least now I’ve known
That indictments impress him—a lot.”