White House Dementia Care Unit Lets Trump Write Walk Of Fame Plaques All By Himself! [View all]

[Zorro]

Last night, a dementia-addled loser interrupted the season finale of Survivor to yell at Americans in all caps for 20 minutes for not being sufficiently grateful for his tariffs and his elimination of mandatory transgender for everyone and their peasant obsession with “affordability” and “groceries.” He lied each time he breathed, and they were stupid lies, lies even the inbred pigs who still count themselves as part of the 36 percent who approve of him could tell are lies. (Maybe. They’re as stupid as he is, so maybe not.)

We sure hope Susie Wiles didn’t sign on to that speech, because it might tarnish the image of woRdL’s sMarTesT PolITiCaL oPreratTor that she was so desperately trying to cultivate in those Vanity Fair interviews. (Topic for discussion: What if Susie Wiles is actually a total dumbass, which is exactly what she looks like in the pictures that accompany the article?)

We have no reason to talk any further about his speech. It was dumb as shit. Everybody is laughing at it. We were at a concert at the time, and we opened up the internet afterward to see that the general consensus was that it was totally unnecessary for Trump to postpone his evening diarrheas for that — he could have just delivered the speech atop the toilet on Truth Social, like every other night — and that in comparison, Pete Hegseth’s preening Viagra overdose in front of the generals was the goddamned Gettysburg Address.

We want to talk about something else that’s actually related, because there’s a whole lot about last night’s speech that screams “keeping the patient comfortable,” and really, that’s the emerging story of his entire second failed presidency.

They’re putting up comforting, garish gold lettering to label rooms for Straight Liberace, so he knows where he is, and they’re repaving the Rose Garden to make him feel like he’s on his own patio at Mar-a-Lago, or maybe at a Panera off the interstate. They’re letting him bulldoze entire sections of the building so he can have a comforting ballroom. Why, at this rate, they might let him build a replica of that ugly bathroom at Mar-a-Lago, for the storing of the classified documents he’s actually allowed to have this time!

And then news broke yesterday that, in what they’re calling Trump’s Presidential Walk of Fame, they’ve put up new plaques underneath all the different presidential portraits, to better reflect President Poopsmells and his various sad loser grievances.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/white-house-dementia-care-unit-lets