Minocqua Brewing Company is promising free beer all day ,the day numb nuts dies.

[GopherGal]

4. I propose an additional condition

The resulting evacuation events should involve a lard sculpture* of the Lardy One himself. Perhaps even funding the beer giveaway itself** by charging a nominal fee to urinate on said sculpture.

*I've never heard of lard sculpture before, but I've frequently viewed the butter sculptures at the Minnesota State Fair and I'm imagining that to be a skill that should be transferable to the lard medium. I have little doubt in my mind that large blocks of lard suitable for sculpture will be available in Wisconsin.

**or, if so desired, as a charitable event with proceeds to the ACLU or an immigrant law center of some sort?