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spooky3

(38,705 posts)

18. Borowitz: DJT gives himself a 2 week deadline to come up with a new distraction

Tue Apr 7, 2026, 11:03 PM

Apr 7

“ WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In an eleventh-hour announcement on Tuesday night, Donald J. Trump gave himself a two-week deadline to come up with a new distraction from the Epstein files.

“Threatening to annihilate a nation of 90 million people worked for about a day, but now I need to come up with something else,” Trump said in a Truth Social post.

Immediately after his announcement, Trump summoned his entire Cabinet to the Situation Room to brainstorm ideas before the two-week window expires.

Distractions reportedly being considered include naming Kid Rock Attorney General, replacing Lincoln’s head on the Lincoln Memorial with his own, and putting Hannibal Lecter’s face on the dollar bill.”

(From TBR Substack email)

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Submariner NJCher LeftInTX malaise

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So is his new name "two weeks" or [View all] malaise Apr 7 OP

That was great! spooky3 Apr 7 #1

I was literally laughing out loud malaise Apr 7 #2

Nailed it! Generic Other Apr 7 #3

TWTACO malaise Apr 7 #4

Does tRump play poker? If he does, he must really suck at it BigmanPigman Apr 7 #5

That's the truth malaise Apr 7 #7

It's a major award. yellow dahlia Apr 7 #15

That, right there..... SergeStorms Wednesday #24

But it's not Italian BigmanPigman Wednesday #26

Let us not forget, he actually owned and bankrupted a few casinos. Intractable Apr 7 #19

Time spans of note: displacedvermoter Apr 7 #6

Nicely played malaise Apr 7 #8

The Friedman was always my favorite! displacedvermoter Apr 7 #11

There is debate about the absolute value of a Scaramucci. Some say it is 11 days. Intractable Apr 7 #20

Was formulating in my mind... oldsoldierfadingfast Apr 7 #9

Thank Jen malaise Apr 7 #10

In two weeks... WestMichRad Apr 7 #12

From 2020 - Trump's Health Care Plan Has Been 'Two Weeks Away' For Months cliffside Apr 7 #13

For a while, he was called Donnie Two Scoops. 3catwoman3 Apr 7 #14

Love it malaise Apr 7 #16

Lawrence is very good at doing that... 3catwoman3 Apr 7 #22

Probably media influenced... Wounded Bear Apr 7 #17

Borowitz: DJT gives himself a 2 week deadline to come up with a new distraction spooky3 Apr 7 #18

Love it malaise Wednesday #31

TACOTWIT moondust Apr 7 #21

Watch Jimmy Kimmel on YT BidenRocks Wednesday #23

Thanks malaise Wednesday #33

The details of Melania's immigration/naturalization were supposed to be out in 2 weeks during the first admin. fierywoman Wednesday #25

Donny Fortnight JoseBalow Wednesday #27

Outstanding! displacedvermoter Wednesday #29

How is "two weeks" his 'new name'? I thought that was Jack Valentino Wednesday #28

Tweeker Fichefinder Wednesday #30

Comprehensive plans for infrastructure & health care are also just two weeks away! Martin Eden Wednesday #32