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jmowreader

(53,261 posts)
20. Next time he'll quote from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 2
Thu Apr 16, 2026, 10:16 AM
Yesterday

Armaments 2.9-21:

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits. in thy mercy' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats...

And the Lord spake, saying, ''First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.

What does one expect? It's not as if he's familiar with the bible. He is familiar with substance abuse ... marble falls Yesterday #1
bible poozwah Yesterday #33
Good One!...BTW..(also to Marble Falls) maddiemom 10 hrs ago #49
Hegseth is a joke. yardwork Yesterday #2
A terrible, deeply evolves Yesterday #38
A clown in a cherry picker Blue Owl Yesterday #3
Hey! Apparently he's branching out Bettie Yesterday #4
Nice locution! NNadir Yesterday #11
I know all those Old Testament prophets had "call signs," but which one was "Sandy"? sop Yesterday #5
ROFL Native Yesterday #8
Hegseth is such a dumbass! 1WorldHope Yesterday #29
Why doesn't he just pray: "Lord, smite my enemies, smashing them into tiny bits. In thy mercy, Amen. surfered Yesterday #6
Brother Maynard! Lucky Luciano Yesterday #21
Fall down funny malaise Yesterday #7
Hegseth's "Christianity" is a performance. So this tracks. LeftinOH Yesterday #9
It's just a realty TV show to him. Irish_Dem Yesterday #10
You nailed it. Noticed this a.m., during the everlasting Pentagon update, that Pete moves allegorical oracle Yesterday #12
Hegseth is obviously an ignorant person who doesn't bother to check anything before speaking publicly. ChicagoTeamster Yesterday #13
"while giving a sermon at the Pentagon." BlueWaveNeverEnd Yesterday #14
Fcking moron mcar Yesterday #15
Pathetic. dalton99a Yesterday #16
Why don't they just go ahead and put an effin' steeple on the Pentagon and be done with it? Penta-gone fundie. RedWhiteBlueIsRacist Yesterday #17
Actually, these quotes are in the Bible. Elon's Grok AI Translated Bible. Midnight Writer Yesterday #18
I've changed the channel but that program keeps playing, Mblaze Yesterday #28
$10 says he hasn't seen the movie past the opening scene. Initech Yesterday #19
Next time he'll quote from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 2 jmowreader Yesterday #20
Mind reader... you beat me to it surfered Yesterday #23
This message was self-deleted by its author surfered Yesterday #22
"Get these mother fucking snakes out this mother fucking government" maxrandb Yesterday #24
Pete quoting Pulp Fiction Dave Id Yesterday #25
The funny thing is this verbiage is not accurate. The movie director took poetic license. n/t PatrickforB Yesterday #26
Jesus spoke about Donnie and Pete Mblaze Yesterday #27
Life s a movie // TV show to these idiots! Hope22 Yesterday #30
K&R spanone Yesterday #31
Terminal moronism. He's in charge of our military. What could go wrong? Martin68 Yesterday #32
He basically got Rickrolled maxsolomon Yesterday #34
Hegseth is to Jesus as shit is to platinum. usonian Yesterday #35
Is he trying to convince us the "rescue" was fake? CaptainTruth Yesterday #36
Appears this was intentional and not a biblical mistake jimmy the one Yesterday #37
Someone should've handed him Twain's sardonic 'War Prayer' Seinan Sensei 16 hrs ago #42
Hegseth Is a Fictional Character, Himself. MineralMan Yesterday #39
Kegsbreath needs to go! red dog 1 23 hrs ago #40
Any remote chance the military will rise up against this goon? vapor2 18 hrs ago #41
As dystopian as this nightmare is EnergizedLib 16 hrs ago #43
What a drunken buffoon. LudwigPastorius 16 hrs ago #44
I gotta say Cosmocat 16 hrs ago #45
Methinks it was a hit job from the Chaplain Corps carpetbagger 16 hrs ago #46
It is surreal to think blue-wave 16 hrs ago #47
Trump has to fire him Renew Deal 16 hrs ago #48
Real Fake Quote for Real Fake Believers of a Real Fake Diety Roy Rolling 7 hrs ago #50
Another instance of... MarcoZandrini 7 hrs ago #51
Does ... Donald Trump ... Look Like... A Bitch? The Animator 7 hrs ago #52
Deliberately obtuse OC375 6 hrs ago #53
Colbert did a fantastic job on this last night! tanyev 6 hrs ago #54
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