General Discussion

Lifeafter70

(1,220 posts)

33. I lived those days

Wed Jun 3, 2026, 10:21 PM

20 hrs ago

Wanted to have my tubes tied after my second child
I was denied due to my husband refusing to sign the paperwork.
When we divorced in 1982, I couldn't rent, get a credit card, bank account or car insurance without a co-signer.
After 12 years of marriage (with a work history) I had zero credit. It was as if I didn't exist and had to start from scratch.

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14 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

DET BarbD LittleGirl silverweb raccoon oberle Farmer-Rick rictofen wave_maker Ritabert Jilly_in_VA questionseverything Luciferous love_katz

66 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

"Women are expected to work like they have no children and parent like they have no job." [View all] Collimator Yesterday OP

Bookmarked!!! IA8IT Yesterday #1

Most Women sit around watching "A brighter Day" ..polishing their nails... chouchou Yesterday #2

What is "A brighter Day"? TIA Celerity 23 hrs ago #15

A reference to the "soap operas" that women supposedly have nothing niyad 22 hrs ago #16

never heard of it Celerity 22 hrs ago #20

I had never heard of that one, either, so I looked it up. Wayyyyyyyyyy niyad 22 hrs ago #23

One of the ridiculous daytime Dramas that could have wasted one's life away. chouchou 19 hrs ago #37

I've never been a huge fan PatSeg 9 hrs ago #47

Unfortunately, Your words are True. chouchou 8 hrs ago #49

And guess what types of people PatSeg 7 hrs ago #50

My husband and I were invited to a dinner, the first time we saw that.. chouchou 3 hrs ago #60

I never understood the appeal PatSeg 35 min ago #65

Do you remember ... oldsoldierfadingfast 3 hrs ago #62

Oh dear PatSeg 42 min ago #64

Will the Democrats campaign on that issue? MustLoveBeagles Yesterday #3

Symptom of a bigger issue Lithos Yesterday #5

Yes it is. OldBaldy1701E 12 hrs ago #42

A smart candidate would Jilly_in_VA 6 hrs ago #52

Spot on. Raven123 Yesterday #4

So Far Timewas Yesterday #6

Until the 70's, women could do little financially on their own. paleotn 22 hrs ago #25

Yep. My mother won't bank with one of the major American banks because of a grudge related to that. RockRaven 21 hrs ago #31

Same thing happened to my spouse in 1986 Farmer-Rick 10 hrs ago #44

I lived those days Lifeafter70 20 hrs ago #33

BTW StoolPigeon Yesterday #7

Oh right... men have nothing but problems getting a lawyer! ihaveaquestion Yesterday #9

Dear Goddess, it is very disappointing to see that sort of thing on a niyad 23 hrs ago #12

Being a single parent H2O Man 22 hrs ago #19

Lawyers won't take your money? Oh really. paleotn 22 hrs ago #26

Sounds serious Torchlight 21 hrs ago #28

Men can't afford lawyers? johnp3907 20 hrs ago #35

And play mommy with benefits to an adult spouse. xuplate Yesterday #8

OMG! After spending all day trying to find the wallet slightlv 22 hrs ago #17

huggggggggs, my friend. Your DU family is here, so lean as hard as niyad 22 hrs ago #21

I feel it for you malaise 22 hrs ago #22

So sorry. paleotn 21 hrs ago #27

We are here for you, V SheltieLover 21 hrs ago #30

If you have a healthcare provider you regularly talk to Sympthsical 21 hrs ago #32

Thanks... slightlv 18 hrs ago #38

So pleased to hear this Sympthsical 17 hrs ago #40

Same here in reverse - playing parent to a 5 year old wife who is 82. Aussie105 17 hrs ago #41

I hear you. Friends we've had for 20 years slightlv 4 hrs ago #59

A humble suggestion ... if he keeps losing his wallet FakeNoose 10 hrs ago #45

Slightly... CousinIT 10 hrs ago #46

Is the VA program mesnt for the vet who's the slightlv 4 hrs ago #58

The VA Caregiver Support Program is for caregivers of veterans CousinIT 3 hrs ago #61

I feel for you; I went thru the dementia caretaker twice. The first time was with my mother. state of stupid 5 hrs ago #55

My heart goes out to you. xuplate 10 min ago #66

my brother coached the men's company softball team Skittles 23 hrs ago #10

Was watching a comedy routine Nittersing 8 hrs ago #48

And then get no credit for either and blamed for everything Tumbulu 23 hrs ago #11

And that is putting it VERY politely. niyad 23 hrs ago #13

Unless you believe the "rumors" that Harris actually won. Which I do. slightlv 22 hrs ago #18

I mean...everyone is. It's just that women, for the most part, picked up the slack for some time, and now are not. WhiskeyGrinder 23 hrs ago #14

As a single father who raised three daughters BeneteauBum 22 hrs ago #24

Thank you so much for including the video link. I will look at it later, niyad 21 hrs ago #29

"Women are expected to work like they have no children and parent like they have no job." DET 20 hrs ago #34

GREAT and VERY TRUE line! Jack Valentino 20 hrs ago #36

"The mental load" women try to explain to men that they are carrying the mental load BlueWaveNeverEnd 17 hrs ago #39

Yep. Diamond_Dog 7 hrs ago #51

Women marry a man with kids and are shocked when he shifts all child care to him BlueWaveNeverEnd 5 hrs ago #57

And society suffers from the epidemic of unparented kids. live love laugh 11 hrs ago #43

My wife and I just passed 30 years of marriage in March of this year... Moostache 6 hrs ago #53

Elizabeth Warren points out the "two-income trap"... gulliver 6 hrs ago #54

I think the biggest problem is the exploitative nature of work now. LT Barclay 5 hrs ago #56

A recommendation to all DUers ... oldsoldierfadingfast 2 hrs ago #63