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redqueen

(115,186 posts)
Fri Jan 4, 2013, 09:50 AM Jan 2013

There's a lot of pushback when you point out and challenge examples of rape culture... [View all]

I'm sure many of you know exactly what I'm talking about. It's still important to do, though, no matter how many people want you to shut up. You will be mocked, you will be insulted, you will be smeared... but none of that matters. Ending rape culture matters.

The more people that speak up, the more it gives others the courage to speak up. So always, speak up. Whether it's jokes, comics, movies, songs, art - always speak up. We can't keep allowing dangerous, harmful ideas to go unchallenged. I don't think I need to explain why.

We are seeing a lot in the news that should motivate all of us to stop being complacent, and allowing the status quo to go unchallenged. Enough shrugging it off. Enough pretending it doesn't matter.


This blog post explains how insidious rape culture can be. It's long, but it's very well worth reading.

Long, but so well worth reading.


just shut up.

http://gyzym.tumblr.com/post/39004853136/just-shut-up

...

But consuming media critically is a skill, and in an age where media is more prevalent than ever before, it’s a skill worth having. It’s a skill worth having because you are going to continue to be exposed to media, and it is going to continue to attempt to manipulate you. It’s a skill worth having because it makes it less difficult to see people talking shit about things you like, not more. It’s a skill worth having because some of the shit being taught en masse by media is horrible scary damaging shit, and maybe you don’t think you’ve learned that horrible scary damaging shit, and maybe you don’t think you’re susceptible to that horrible scary damaging shit, and honestly? Maybe you haven’t. Maybe you’re not. I don’t know you. But I know that a classroom full of average southern Ohio state school students went silent in horror at the full realization of what Beauty and the Beast teaches kids too young to know better. I know that as someone who has spent years being taught to analyze media, as someone who has actively worked to develop the skill of understanding what a given film is attempting to wring from me, I still want to see Hugh Grant kiss Martine McCutcheon. I know that the real trick to the continued, pervasive prevalence of shit like rape culture is that it’s everywhere all the time, slipped in under the radar and riding on the fact that it’s the status quo, hidden in plain goddamn sight.

We can argue for media that doesn’t push the horrible shit we need to unlearn as a society to get to a healthier place, or we can point out the flaws in our preexisting media, or we can do both. But “Just shut up,” isn’t an option. “Just shut up,” can’t be an option, because we can’t keep playing the “Nobody told me because nobody told them,” card. Nothing will ever get better that way. Nothing will ever improve if we keep not telling people this shit. And yes, it’s easier not to watch things critically. Yes, it’s easier not to engage with this stuff. Yes, as always, “Not learning things,” is the easier option. And if you don’t want to learn things (or unlearn them, as the case may be), that’s your right. That’s your call, and nobody can stop you from making it. It’s entirely possible to like and even love problematic media while consuming it critically, while acknowledging its flaws, but if that’s not something you wish to figure out then that’s that, and there ain’t shit anybody can do about it. But for the love of god, stop arguing that people should be quiet, should stop pointing this stuff out, should stop engaging with something in a way you don’t want them to. For one thing, you’re wasting your breath—again, it’s the age of the internet. People are going to use their platforms as they please. But for another thing, there’s a huge difference between saying, “I don’t feel like dealing with this problem,” and saying, “I don’t feel like dealing with this problem and therefore no one else should either.” One of them is a personal choice, and the other is embarrassingly irresponsible. I’ll leave it up to you to work out where the chips fall on that one.


Emphasis mine.
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K&R trumad Jan 2013 #1
K&R forestpath Jan 2013 #2
Beauty and the Beast? Shivering Jemmy Jan 2013 #3
Yes, but there is also another side to that meta-narrative. Bonobo Jan 2013 #4
the bad boy thing is still strong these days- with Twilight and the Shades of Grey series bettyellen Jan 2013 #14
Yeah, marions ghost Jan 2013 #62
I told my coworker that she'd feel differently if she'd ever been stalked. But she's young and bettyellen Jan 2013 #65
Interesting. I have never thought of it that way. smirkymonkey Jan 2013 #97
I know that people attack us when we speak out but... LiberalLoner Jan 2013 #5
+1 redqueen Jan 2013 #6
I think primal tales such as Beauty and the Beast have more than one meaning el_bryanto Jan 2013 #7
no. not all of us are complacent and we pay hell for it. rape has become our entertainment. seabeyond Jan 2013 #8
Exactly. redqueen Jan 2013 #9
Like the village in India that wants to prevent tblue37 Jan 2013 #13
Great article - read it all. Locrian Jan 2013 #10
Yep. We're conditioned to see it as 'normal'. redqueen Jan 2013 #11
"The Quiet Man"? daleanime Jan 2013 #30
I was referring to Blade Runner, but there are countless examples. redqueen Jan 2013 #56
Well yeah, but no one likes to admit that.... daleanime Jan 2013 #59
If the messed-upness wasn't manifesting as violence so often redqueen Jan 2013 #60
We do agree, although I kind of come at it from the other side... daleanime Jan 2013 #61
That's a valid point, redqueen Jan 2013 #64
Excellent post, redqueen. tblue37 Jan 2013 #12
True, I remember several 'respected" posters here OPing that rapists were rare sociopaths and "knew" bettyellen Jan 2013 #15
It cuts across all segments of society, rich, poor, geeks, jocks, artists... redqueen Jan 2013 #16
You're right. I was referring to the frats and sports teams only in the context of gang rape..... bettyellen Jan 2013 #20
Wow, I hadn't seen that stat. redqueen Jan 2013 #57
Yep, really is sad to see here on DU. Rex Jan 2013 #17
Once you start to see it, you do realize it's everywhere. MadrasT Jan 2013 #18
K&R. nt DLevine Jan 2013 #19
There's a larger question here really, I think Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #21
ah this is such bullshit and tired of we are animals so that explains it crap. nt seabeyond Jan 2013 #22
Note that that wasn't a defence but an observation. Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #23
we may be animals and subject to impulses beyond our control el_bryanto Jan 2013 #24
And to some extent aspects of our culture celebrate those impulses. Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #26
what is this animal instinct you talk about? rape? or sex? nt seabeyond Jan 2013 #32
or murder or robbery el_bryanto Jan 2013 #36
i do not see this as being mere animal. he was talking evolutionary behavioral psychology which i seabeyond Jan 2013 #41
That's my point and I suspect that's largely his point as well n/t el_bryanto Jan 2013 #44
no. he sent me to a site with evolutionary biology. a cult today that infects our males with right seabeyond Jan 2013 #47
Evolutionary biology is a cult? Are you a creationist? n/t el_bryanto Jan 2013 #49
no. i am talking about the people that take behaviors today and validate them... like rape, seabeyond Jan 2013 #52
Validate them? By saying they have their origin in our animal natures? el_bryanto Jan 2013 #53
I have seen this validation here frequently. It's just a few "uncontrollable sociopaths" and there bettyellen Jan 2013 #63
Evolutionary biology not a validation or an excuse, just a partial explanation joelbny Jan 2013 #69
post 89. scientists reject evo psych. nt seabeyond Jan 2013 #90
post 89. scientists reject evo psych. nt seabeyond Jan 2013 #91
But we all do know Tsiyu Jan 2013 #25
Except that whole "I can't do that" thing seems to be absent from sociopaths Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #27
So then sociopaths are mutations Tsiyu Jan 2013 #28
You seem to assume that it isn't the other way around Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #31
But then I believe we would be far more violent than we are Tsiyu Jan 2013 #38
Part of the reason for the relative but not absolute lack of violence... Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #43
sub-Saharan Africa Tsiyu Jan 2013 #50
and that fits in with some men learning to view women as a different tribe due less respect bettyellen Jan 2013 #72
"We train animals not to steal food or piss on the floor. " OMG, too true..... bettyellen Jan 2013 #67
It seems the rape apologists have a dilemma Tsiyu Jan 2013 #68
who are the rape apologists? joelbny Jan 2013 #70
Seek and ye shall find Tsiyu Jan 2013 #71
yes actually if 1 in 3 women are raped.... joelbny Jan 2013 #75
Uh Oh Tsiyu Jan 2013 #76
about porn joelbny Jan 2013 #78
Sad story Tsiyu Jan 2013 #80
note, i am calling it bullshit, not talking about "defense". i am flat out calling this shit spewed seabeyond Jan 2013 #29
There's a difference between an explanation and an excuse Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #33
i am calling your explanation bullshit. what is this animal instinct you are talking about? seabeyond Jan 2013 #34
I never said anything about "animal instinct" Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #37
this is what i thought you were referring to. evolutionary fuckin' behavioral science that has seabeyond Jan 2013 #40
You didn't actually bother to look at the review did you? Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #45
i have repeatedly presented documentation where the scientific community rejects evolutionary seabeyond Jan 2013 #51
You have? I haven't seen it Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #54
No, it is not natural for men to gang rape women gollygee Jan 2013 #39
+1 Rex Jan 2013 #87
The end of patriarchy ismnotwasm Jan 2013 #48
Oh, it can be changed, and it will be. redqueen Jan 2013 #55
Plus the 'dumb beast' argument doesn't hold water. Rex Jan 2013 #86
That is not really true. Rex Jan 2013 #85
Except that isn't true at all Spider Jerusalem Jan 2013 #88
Does evolutionary psychology have any problems? seabeyond Jan 2013 #89
Yes but we are talking about normal human beings. Rex Jan 2013 #92
K&R No matter how low a man is, he is still master of his wife. Egalitarian Thug Jan 2013 #35
yes. nt. seabeyond Jan 2013 #42
Thank you! redqueen Jan 2013 #58
You're very welcomed. I just wish there were some way to get more people to see Egalitarian Thug Jan 2013 #93
I don't know if there's any way to force it. redqueen Jan 2013 #96
Thank you for stating the obvious. It always seems to hide in plain sight. n/t Raksha Jan 2013 #94
k&R ismnotwasm Jan 2013 #46
Some men refuse to see forced sex as rape marions ghost Jan 2013 #66
I love rhe way she summarized that part of the wonderful yes means yes blog... redqueen Jan 2013 #73
The world would be very different if we shunned (& punished) rapists, she concludes: marions ghost Jan 2013 #74
The tie in with domestic violence is another issue. redqueen Jan 2013 #77
Domestic violence seems to be at the heart of the Steubenville, Ohio gang rape. yardwork Jan 2013 #79
Micheal Nodianos the young man in the Ohio State tee shirt in that heinous video, goes to Ohio State riderinthestorm Jan 2013 #83
I hope he ends up scrubbing toilets at a fast food restaurant. smirkymonkey Jan 2013 #98
Yup. Just had it happen (again) to me, not an hour ago on another thread riderinthestorm Jan 2013 #81
K&R, Great Thread. smirkymonkey Jan 2013 #82
Weekend kick nt riderinthestorm Jan 2013 #84
K & R Raksha Jan 2013 #95
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