General Discussion

Warpy

(114,617 posts)

86. Exactly, blame is often very lopsided

Sun Jan 6, 2013, 01:19 PM

Jan 2013

I know the last thing I wanted was another marriage so when the article in Newsweek came out asserting a woman over 30 was more likely to be killed by a terrorist than married, I did a happy dance. I actually considered those two things equivalent, although death was preferable.

However, if you got out there, you'd find that you are an eligible bachelor and would have to beat 'em off with a stick, especially if you own your house and have a job. Financially stable nice guys are hard to find these days.

Divorced women fare much worse on the meat market, their children a liability and the years they spent with the ex being held against them.

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The Real Causes of Divorce -- America Has to Stop Blaming It on Women [View all] xchrom Jan 2013 OP

Isn't it the women who most frequently file for divorce? smirkymonkey Jan 2013 #1

Maybe its because BOTH people are asses to each other. Drahthaardogs Jan 2013 #46

Every marriage is different. Every family is different. LiberalFighter Jan 2013 #54

Like I said, people treat their spouses like crap. Drahthaardogs Jan 2013 #55

Yes, you are right. There are assholes on both sides. It's too bad that so many people have to smirkymonkey Jan 2013 #108

altruism. a marriage of altruism. the most selfish of acts. also, i swear, the best in marriage seabeyond Jan 2013 #63

Or maybe its because they are more likely to win in divorce court. nt aaaaaa5a Jan 2013 #83

huh? check your stats elehhhhna Jan 2013 #113

For example... custody. nt aaaaaa5a Jan 2013 #115

point taken there's probably some institutional bias elehhhhna Jan 2013 #116

Mine didn't. randome Jan 2013 #117

admittedly a small sample of people laundry_queen Jan 2013 #106

Out of the people I know who got divorced hobbit709 Jan 2013 #2

so it's the womens fault for marrying them elehhhhna Jan 2013 #114

I always tell people who whine about their spouse: "You picked them?" nt bemildred Jan 2013 #3

They had to know what they were getting into unless they totally ignored everything. LiberalFighter Jan 2013 #57

If you are not.. sendero Jan 2013 #4

In an ideal world, sure Tsiyu Jan 2013 #5

Doesn't matter who withholds..... sendero Jan 2013 #8

Well, you have to think about Tsiyu Jan 2013 #10

my ex didn't withhold sex... Sedona Jan 2013 #43

Silly silly silly..... And a little shallow as well. Is sex the only reason for marriage? peacebird Jan 2013 #6

Not at all... sendero Jan 2013 #11

I'ld rather share my life with my husband than a roomate. Real intimacy does not require sex peacebird Jan 2013 #14

If you are... sendero Jan 2013 #15

Hmm, not for all of us :) phylny Jan 2013 #18

Same here....... sendero Jan 2013 #19

you talked me into it... seabeyond Jan 2013 #65

+100 Auntie Bush Jan 2013 #38

you hit the nail on the head, Peacebird Carolina Jan 2013 #40

This. redqueen Jan 2013 #75

And if sex is all you want, then what's the point? Why not have sex with a roommate? Moonwalk Jan 2013 #91

I imagine many people rely on passion rather than love... LanternWaste Jan 2013 #109

Couples do sometimes stop having sex yet stay together for companionship and security slackmaster Jan 2013 #58

That is just totally at odds with my concept of what a marriage should be. dawg Jan 2013 #99

I blame my divorce on the economy, my income dropped sharply Fumesucker Jan 2013 #7

i'm sorry to hear that datasuspect Jan 2013 #16

Thanks for your kind words Fumesucker Jan 2013 #20

your enduring revenge will be her choice of partnering with a Miserabeliac Last Stand Jan 2013 #39

That happened to my brother eridani Jan 2013 #21

You are better off without her, although I know it must have been devastating. dawg Jan 2013 #97

It wasn't just my ex I lost Fumesucker Jan 2013 #100

I don't think you have lost your daughter or grandchildren, although the things you say ... dawg Jan 2013 #101

I wish it were only sex RedstDem Jan 2013 #9

Don't women initiate the majority of divorces? vilify Jan 2013 #12

Is Free Republic down this morning? GeorgeGist Jan 2013 #22

I don't know and my post isn't offensive. vilify Jan 2013 #24

Your post is indeed offensive. Sheldon Cooper Jan 2013 #25

It is most definitely offensive. blueamy66 Jan 2013 #42

i spent the first 32 yrs saying.... no way in hell, cause of that attitude toward women. nt seabeyond Jan 2013 #67

I still can't believe that was posted. blueamy66 Jan 2013 #71

Yes it is offensive. I know what's offensive to me and you're offensive! Auntie Bush Jan 2013 #44

Yes. It is offensive lunatica Jan 2013 #59

+10K!! 2naSalit Jan 2013 #88

LOL! I second that! lunatica Jan 2013 #94

People have the right to choose to be offended by anything slackmaster Jan 2013 #62

That's rich, coming from you! nt Romulox Jan 2013 #76

and people have the right to call out misogyny. i guess that would be another "get used to it" seabeyond Jan 2013 #85

Did you seriously just write that? and then say it wasn't offensive? Your unsightly knuckles are Squinch Jan 2013 #26

Are you trying to be funny? etherealtruth Jan 2013 #30

I think you forgot to add one of these Amaril Jan 2013 #51

How much time do men spend looking for free sex? LiberalFighter Jan 2013 #60

dont sell men out. they look for connection AS MUCH as women do. it is a people thing. seabeyond Jan 2013 #68

Those facts you cited? OFFENSIVE! nt Romulox Jan 2013 #77

It's all because of hysterical women and their mysterious monthly cycles Orrex Jan 2013 #13

It's not that women don't want to have sex......... OKNancy Jan 2013 #17

Heh ismnotwasm Jan 2013 #23

Hey! I resemble that remark! KansDem Jan 2013 #28

Thank you!!! Plus 1000++++ n/t sammytko Jan 2013 #66

Those That Believe That Sex Is Not Used As A Method Of Control Or Manipulation Are Fooling Themselves cantbeserious Jan 2013 #27

See post #17. n/t demmiblue Jan 2013 #31

Non Responsive To The Post cantbeserious Jan 2013 #32

Then #87 if it suits you. n/t demmiblue Jan 2013 #33

Non Responsive Again - No Post #87 cantbeserious Jan 2013 #34

Perhaps that is part of your problem... eliciting responses. n/t demmiblue Jan 2013 #35

I Observe And Comment - The Truth Is Often Not Palatable cantbeserious Jan 2013 #37

Lol. n/t demmiblue Jan 2013 #41

Confusing truth with a mere opinion is also unpalatable LanternWaste Jan 2013 #111

Ha! Iggo Jan 2013 #45

and those that connect to someone who chooses that in life are fools. see how easy that is. seabeyond Jan 2013 #69

About as absurd as believing LanternWaste Jan 2013 #110

I think the concept of marriage has been cheapened. babylonsister Jan 2013 #29

People take their tattoos more seriously than their marriages. Iggo Jan 2013 #47

Well tatoos are forever, marriages aren't ;) n/t arthritisR_US Jan 2013 #72

The concept of marriage has been over-romanticized. GreenEyedLefty Jan 2013 #56

They need to change the vows. LiberalFighter Jan 2013 #61

Your position (one that I agree with) reminds me of this quote from the wonderful Cary Grant movie, LanternWaste Jan 2013 #112

Interesting article. I was not aware that people were blaming divorce on women. slackmaster Jan 2013 #36

I'm with you... KansDem Jan 2013 #49

I've heard that money problems are the number one reason for divorce, at least in the US. Sheldon Cooper Jan 2013 #48

It's *this* gender's fault! McDiggy Jan 2013 #50

Well there's a terrible article Prism Jan 2013 #52

Oh goody! 99Forever Jan 2013 #53

Right? theKed Jan 2013 #74

with this kind of attitude, i can understand why you are so angry. seabeyond Jan 2013 #90

What about the placement of children and child support? Chico Man Jan 2013 #64

Both of my divorces were the husband's fault. LWolf Jan 2013 #70

Marriage is an outdated institution. redqueen Jan 2013 #73

I disagree with your opinion about marriage. Sheldon Cooper Jan 2013 #78

Then why are we so big on promoting marriage equality? lumberjack_jeff Jan 2013 #79

ah redqueen... and here we have differing views on it. though i wont disagree with you that it is seabeyond Jan 2013 #87

Tell that to this couple who were married at city hall this New Year. KittyWampus Jan 2013 #102

This message was self-deleted by its author Flabbergasted Jan 2013 #80

Oh, BOLLOCKS Warpy Jan 2013 #81

"Eligible bachelor" Fumesucker Jan 2013 #84

Exactly, blame is often very lopsided Warpy Jan 2013 #86

Wow that is so ridiculous Chico Man Jan 2013 #89

i have a nice guy. i would not allow anything less in my life. that is all the men and boys, seabeyond Jan 2013 #92

Yep, own your home and financially stable and you are an "eligible bachelor" Fumesucker Jan 2013 #93

I think most women are just looking for a man they won't have to support. dawg Jan 2013 #96

I don't feel like an eligible bachelor, Warpy. dawg Jan 2013 #95

your sentence makes me feel so bad, mad, sad. all of it seabeyond Jan 2013 #103

I was talking about this with a friend a few months ago. dawg Jan 2013 #105

Talking divorce...that means there's a marriage and much of.... Tikki Jan 2013 #82

We get Lysistrata completely backwards today Recursion Jan 2013 #98

That's one thing I never understood about Married With Children. Sheldon Cooper Jan 2013 #104

It was the one thing he could control (nt) Recursion Jan 2013 #107