a guy broke into my sister's house

[frazzled]

146. Another true story that happened to me

Probably 17 or 18 years ago, I was home cooking something on the stove in the kitchen (kids still at school, spouse still at work). It was a sunny early spring afternoon, and I'd left the front door open, with the glass storm door closed (and must not have locked it). I hear the door open and someone walk into my small front entry and then into the living room. I'm like, WTF? And instinct takes over. I walk out into the living room with my wooden spoon raised over my head, and I behold a 30-somethingish man with a stocking cap pulled down over his head and a shabby jacket. I start waving my little spoon and yelling, "Get out of my house!" (I think it came out in a kind of "Exorcist" voice.)

Well, it didn't take but a second for the guy to take flight. The door slammed and I went to lock it: I looked down and see that he'd left a Yellow Pages phone book for me on the living room floor. Oh my goodness, I thought, and I ran to the window to see him hobbling down the street with his stack of phone directories, probably scared out of his wits. He looked to be mentally disabled to me, and I realized he'd been hired to do this simple job of delivery. Sadly, he didn't know enough not to walk into somebody's house. I thought of running after him to apologize for scaring him, but decided it was best to leave it alone.

If I'd had a gun? Well, I never would have had a gun, so I can't imagine that particular scenario. I can, however, imagine how that might have ended in tragedy for someone who did have a gun and had been willing to use it.

Thank goodness for the common slotted wooden spoon.