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[SemperEadem]

200. same here

I was almost raped when I was 16. I was able to fight off the attacker, who was a coworker. Thank God I was able to because the way law enforcement and the courts treat rape victims, I most likely would have killed myself rather than put myself through obtaining justice to the crime done against me. I never told my parents--to this day, my mother still doesn't know and I'm 53. What does a naive 16 yr old virgin know about the nature of a rapist? He was a guy I worked with, who was nice to me up until that moment. Nothing in the world prepared me for how his nature changed.

Because of that experience, I made sure to teach my daughter how to "not get raped". She should be able to grow up in a world where stuff like that never happens because all parents of sons teach their sons to not rape--but they don't, obviously. Yes some do--but they aren't the ones who are the problem, now are they?

So how does the fear manifest for me these days? I am always wary getting into an elevator alone with a man I don't know because I don't know if he's going to attack me or not. Clearly, age isn't a factor when elderly women are attacked just like teenage girls. There have been times where I've gotten out or passed one up and called for another elevator rather than get in one already occupied by a man.

A pretty mundane thing, riding in an elevator. At least it should be. I should have as much confidence as the man in there that I wont be a victim of sexual assault, but rapists don't have the word "rapist" tattoo'd on their foreheads. Some of them clean up quite nicely, wear thousand dollar suits and good shoes. Some of them are good with disarming charm. They all don't look like thugs from a project.

And since I will be blamed for getting in the elevator in the first place... or even being out of my home... or wearing high heels and a skirt--and not a short one at that, then I get to reserve the right to tap into my intuition and take measures where I feel I'm safest, because how dare I live an autonomous and fully actualized life outside of either my father's or a husband's home.