and for explaining your view further.
My point was that--it is difficult to "return to normal" on this issue. Once a child experiences the fear--the certain knowledge that evil killers can and do shoot up schools, there may be no return to (what should be) normal. Because normal has been redefined. A place where the child once felt safe has been invaded. Adults may think that all you need is psychotherapy to get over it (ie. to forget about it and "move on"
when what children really need is to see adults trying to find solutions, and even to be a part of that effort. They need to feel the parent's concern, whatever shape that takes. Young children are very concrete thinkers--it can be hard to reason them out of a fear. They will still retain it in their psyche. But if they are taught to talk about it and work at actual efforts to fix the problem--it is a better way to go than just trying to quell their fears and expecting things to be business as usual in a few days. If you do this, they will still sense the parent's instinctive fear later--whenever something else happens after this--either on a national or local level. Children can't evaluate the risks--they read the parent's fear level and they learn early how to detect denial in the parent. I would expect a lot of kids to be concerned about an incident like this for quite some time. Simply returning to what we parents wish was "normal" may not be possible, once shell-shocked by such violence. Active attention to the issue and developing coping mechanisms that don't involve denial is better. Edit to add--it is best if this is as community-oriented as possible, rather than individual psychotherapy. I advocate that EVERY parent of a child affected by this: SHOW the child the footage of the President and VP's
clear and direct speeches yesterday, calling for action.
No matter how good a parent is, you cannot always protect your child, and in fact, it causes parents great stress when they feel a child is at risk of gun violence at school. (I am worried about the effects on parents also, in this gun culture). It is particularly wrong to believe, and tell the child, that "this doesn't happen here" when we know that it could. That is Denial, capital D. Also, teaching kids they are special in that they are protected while others are not implies that we should have no concern for people elsewhere in the country, or the world.
I intended no insult to you personally. I meant my comment to be taken in the context of the whole discussion. So THANK YOU for NOT accusing me of being a bully and having bad intentions--as the poster before you --post #23--did. I think that poster's over-reaction was nasty and abusive. Particularly the term "bullying."
to you
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