I Need Fifteen Followers!!

[Ikonoklast]

116. As His Most Gracious, Holy, Infallible Keeper Of All Secrets Of The Universe Pope Ikonoklast I,

I Do Hereby Decree:

By the Power invested in Me by all that Is, Was, and Ever Shall Be I declare you Apostate, Heretic, and in Schism from the One, True and Holy Faith and have placed not only Your Eternal Soul in Peril of Damnation, but also the Souls of all those whom you have deliberately misguided into Heresy by your Vile Enticements.


However, My Being All Merciful and Forgiving...


For the Paltry Sum of $129.95, paid in three monthly installments, or $99.95 paid in full up front, We in all Our Graciousness And Mercy shall Absolve you of all Sin against My Divine Authority and welcome you back into My Flock.

Act fast, offer good for the next thirty days only.




All major credit cards accepted. (Only with My pre-approval.)

No Discover cards. (I did say "major" credit cards, mmmk?)

No personal checks accepted. (I'm not falling for trying to cash a bunch of bad checks again, and to all of you that draw a big penis on the "Pay To The Order Of" line, oh, ha ha.)

Cash or valid money orders preferred. (Special Indulgences given to payers in cash.)



So Proclaim I, His Most Holy And Revered Eminence, Pope Ikonoklast I.