My son was forced to pray at a school-sponsored event; sucks to be agnostic in a Christian culture

[jberryhill]

21. Personally...

Passive resistance doesn't require anyone to "stand up" to anyone else. Having walked out of a student assembly in high school which was sponsored by a religious group, and having calmly told the vice principal why I was doing so in what was essentially a dare for him to do something about it, I found the experience to be empowering and liberating.

I have no idea what your son thinks about the situation, and for all I know he may feel trapped between two strong personalities here. However, the course I would take is to refuse to pray, take the consequences, and then tell the coach, again perfectly calmly, that what I have learned about his faith is that it is coercive and vindictive and thank him for convincing me I never want any part of it. Setting up a "fight" and using the technique of shaming instead of fighting can also be done in parallel, as my next move would be to sue the school out of existence.

I'm also curious to know whether this is a charter school. And is this a school-sanctioned club, or a volunteer activity on the part of the coach?

IMHO, 11 is a perfectly appropriate age for your son to be the primary driver of the response here and a perfectly appropriate age for him to develop the connection between his own conscience and actions without you taking control of the situation out of his hands. The age difference is not an issue here.

By the same token, I would not profess to be competent to tell you what you should do.

Again, totally IMHO, but I think your son's best move is to make the coach punish him. Then, the coach is going to have to address the redressable consequences of HIS actions.