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Demo_Chris

(6,234 posts)

74. My advice for what little it's worth

Mon Feb 4, 2013, 02:36 PM

Feb 2013

I am an athiest.

The question is this: does it REALLY matter? You have to answer this for yourself. My answer is not yours.

Is it worth potentially blowing away your son's chess club activities by, at the very least angering this teacher? And further, potentially causing you son problems with the other kids at school?

If the answer is yes, then go nuclear. Don't mess about, call an attorney and follow his or her directions.

If the answer is no, then talk to your son and blow it off. If it makes you feel better, remember that your son is going to have to deal with this nonsense his entire life. From coaches wanting to pray over him to Presidential inaugurantions filled to overflowing with prayers and shout-outs to god. It sucks, it's infuriating, and it's how it is. Not saying don't make waves, but even here on DU a huge number of people are passionate believers in god.

Myself, I'd probably talk to my kid and, without any pressure one way or the other, and find out what he wanted. Whatever decision he makes, praise him for his maturity and carry on.

Good luck!

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My son was forced to pray at a school-sponsored event; sucks to be agnostic in a Christian culture [View all] LuckyTheDog Feb 2013 OP

Make a call to the Board of Ed and find out what the system's policy is. leveymg Feb 2013 #1

The coach knows how we feel... LuckyTheDog Feb 2013 #2

Find out what the policy is, first. leveymg Feb 2013 #3

I have to agree. This is a problem that needs to be dealt with "top down"... Walk away Feb 2013 #6

Better yet, if the son is agreeable, Lionessa Feb 2013 #80

Creekdog begs to differ with you jberryhill Feb 2013 #87

I agree that's not a good idea unless the boy is strongly committed in principle, no matter leveymg Feb 2013 #94

Please note, I started with, if the son is agrreable and had the sense to read and note that the OP Lionessa Feb 2013 #97

I wasn't disagreeing with you. leveymg Feb 2013 #98

Actually, why should the OP answer? This is federal law, not f'ing school policy. Lionessa Feb 2013 #99

Yes, I know there's a federal law that applies to this, but so does school policy more immediately, leveymg Feb 2013 #109

Oh please keep your pettiness to yourself, don't try to bunch me in with your CD obsession. Lionessa Feb 2013 #95

"My son, knowing how I feel about such things" jberryhill Feb 2013 #4

My son is 11 years old LuckyTheDog Feb 2013 #5

Personally... jberryhill Feb 2013 #21

You know, the same sort of thing holds true for other crap 'coaches' do, like being homophobes. Bluenorthwest Feb 2013 #8

+1 nt laundry_queen Feb 2013 #12

+2 Lionessa Feb 2013 #100

I also should mention... LuckyTheDog Feb 2013 #9

That's neither here nor there jberryhill Feb 2013 #22

it's already been explained that the kid is 11, why are you being dense about this? CreekDog Feb 2013 #76

"call BS on them" jberryhill Feb 2013 #77

an 11 year old chess champion does not necessarily know when to listen/not listen to a coach CreekDog Feb 2013 #78

Oh, cool another thread about me and how dense I am jberryhill Feb 2013 #79

then why did your child allow themselves to be left injured in a locker room? CreekDog Feb 2013 #81

Because he was unconscious jberryhill Feb 2013 #82

you say this thread isn't about you but you will nitpick the poster CreekDog Feb 2013 #83

I called nobody a fool jberryhill Feb 2013 #84

you keep saying that it's inappropriate for the father to get involved CreekDog Feb 2013 #85

What does this sentence mean to you jberryhill Feb 2013 #86

I went through a similar situation with my daughter. Starboard Tack Feb 2013 #89

"He's a smart kid and will figure it all out." jberryhill Feb 2013 #93

I sorta agree. Prayer is direct communication from person to deity one cannot be made to do such a TheKentuckian Feb 2013 #113

Sounds like the coach needs a talking-to Dreamer Tatum Feb 2013 #7

You see, that's the awkward part LuckyTheDog Feb 2013 #13

I'm doubtful it would come to that primavera Feb 2013 #57

These folks will help you if you need it. rgbecker Feb 2013 #10

SecularStudents.org is also a good one. Lionessa Feb 2013 #102

The Vikings had a form of chess that they enjoyed playing Tyrs WolfDaemon Feb 2013 #11

Oh, I am so sharing this with my daughter. Skidmore Feb 2013 #20

If they have an iPad, there are one or two games that are similar Tyrs WolfDaemon Feb 2013 #58

Chess originated in India during the Gupta Empire Drale Feb 2013 #32

That just means there are more gods that should be honored! Tyrs WolfDaemon Feb 2013 #46

There's always a choice, and sometimes it's not something that can be done nicely. Daemonaquila Feb 2013 #14

"parents alone can rarely have the kind of effect that a student speaking up can have" jberryhill Feb 2013 #25

Especially if it is in front of witnesses of your peers. LiberalFighter Feb 2013 #71

I did the same, and I went to Catholic schools ybbor Feb 2013 #30

This message was self-deleted by its author demwing Feb 2013 #37

Good luck with this. Waiting for the usual DU crew to chime in with "its just a little prayer"!!11!! riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #15

I doubt you'll see that here jberryhill Feb 2013 #31

So school coaches are allowed to pray with students before games? riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #40

On their own meter, they can, sure jberryhill Feb 2013 #53

This was at a school function and he was acting in a teacher/coach position - not his own "meter" riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #56

If you are asking about the particular situation described in the OP jberryhill Feb 2013 #63

Thanks for the clarification! nt riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #69

This is my question also... aptal Feb 2013 #61

The coach threatened unspecified "consequences" jberryhill Feb 2013 #64

Ahh, sorry I missed that part in the post. aptal Feb 2013 #67

Riiiight, because that is EXACTLY what you would expect at DU demwing Feb 2013 #39

If you feel strongly enough about it, contact the FFRF or ACLU RussBLib Feb 2013 #16

I'm a believer who is angry that this happened to you and your son me b zola Feb 2013 #17

Same here Lydia Leftcoast Feb 2013 #23

Yeah, we know what would happen me b zola Feb 2013 #26

I totally agree. vduhr Feb 2013 #75

The problem is... jberryhill Feb 2013 #28

I thought only 'student intitiated prayers' were allowed at sporting events. sinkingfeeling Feb 2013 #18

A fellow agnostic av8r1998 Feb 2013 #19

It doesn't pay to be respectful to a bully. Daemonaquila Feb 2013 #35

Very True av8r1998 Feb 2013 #41

I understand there are similarities but I would disagree that this behavior merits disrespect. randome Feb 2013 #47

Sucks that a child should be put through this nonsense, but keep in mind that it is the AzDar Feb 2013 #24

Oh, Lord... TlalocW Feb 2013 #27

If the coach can offer prayers, then so can the kids. How about a prayer to Satan? Ian David Feb 2013 #29

This is what I always say to the school prayer crowd. Sure lets have prayer in school! Dustlawyer Feb 2013 #66

Put it back on the coach and ask EC Feb 2013 #33

I'm an athiest and had to pray in school. It was not that big of deal, didn't damage me. firehorse Feb 2013 #34

that's BS stupidicus Feb 2013 #36

This is too important to not give the holy bastard a taste of the hot coals of hell Coyotl Feb 2013 #38

DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT! Ikonoklast Feb 2013 #42

Is this a public school? Or a private school? proud2BlibKansan Feb 2013 #43

That is how I learned to oppose prayer in school. In 3rd grade Joseph Mc Carthy (sp?) died and jwirr Feb 2013 #44

"there would be consequences" Truly? demwing Feb 2013 #45

He cannot compel participation! Bad Thoughts Feb 2013 #48

It seems like the coach is good at teaching chess, but has forgotten it is not a religion class. logosoco Feb 2013 #49

You should also fight to have the bishops removed from play Orrex Feb 2013 #50

A couple town and county boards still pray before meetings where I am. bobclark86 Feb 2013 #51

As a fellow agnostic, I wish you the best of luck. n/t proReality Feb 2013 #52

A toughie - that really tests the strength of one's convictions primavera Feb 2013 #54

Send a detailed e-mail to both the Principle, Superintendent, and maybe even a few Board members- cecilfirefox Feb 2013 #55

Aside from the illegality of the prayer Gman Feb 2013 #59

yawn Puzzledtraveller Feb 2013 #60

like GOD really gives a shit who wins a chess game leftyohiolib Feb 2013 #62

To Borrow A Ricky Gervais Line........... ChoppinBroccoli Feb 2013 #68

As For Myself, This Is What I Do When Faced With Those Situations ChoppinBroccoli Feb 2013 #65

My mom was a Holy Terror in such situations. hunter Feb 2013 #70

I would ask the coach exactly SemperEadem Feb 2013 #72

You yourself say NightOwwl Feb 2013 #73

My advice for what little it's worth Demo_Chris Feb 2013 #74

+1 Good post. Starboard Tack Feb 2013 #90

Exactly the point I was trying to make. NightOwwl Feb 2013 #96

It might be. It's not an easy choice. :) -nt Demo_Chris Feb 2013 #110

I went to public school in Texas in the '60s. Blue_In_AK Feb 2013 #88

Get video proof, especially of the "repercussions" threat, and raise the roof. Lars39 Feb 2013 #91

I was your son in 1953 coldbeer Feb 2013 #92

It does suck. Rider3 Feb 2013 #101

I am so sorry this is happening. hrmjustin Feb 2013 #103

Call your local ACLU Taverner Feb 2013 #104

I actually have a pretty good contact at the state ACLU... BUT... LuckyTheDog Feb 2013 #107

Best of luck with that! DrewFlorida Feb 2013 #105

You have grounds and could get the school in a world of s**t appleannie1 Feb 2013 #106

MAN UP and INSIST that this (ILLEGAL, if a public school) practice STOP IMMEDIATELY. WinkyDink Feb 2013 #108

A skirmish ignored today DonCoquixote Feb 2013 #111

Doing right versus being right. NightOwwl Feb 2013 #112

Is he praying that they win? roody Feb 2013 #114