General Discussion

LibertyLover

(4,788 posts)

49. Your life, your choice

Reply to Lady Freedom Returns (Original post)

Tue Feb 5, 2013, 06:16 PM

Feb 2013

While I did not have a child with my husband, I am a mother through adoption. For us to have had a child would have taken massive medical intervention, a lot of good luck, pots of money and a very big side of magic thrown in for good measure. It would have been nice to have had a biologic child, but it wasn't in the cards this life and, honestly, my daughter is the light of my life, about whom I would change nothing (well, except maybe for the flute practicing in the afternoons).

What pisses me off is how many people come up to us and ask if we know our daughter is not the same race as we are. Like a 10 year old child doesn't understand what they are saying. No, she isn't blonde haired and blue-eyed. She has lovely long, straight brown hair and sparkling, intelligent brown eyes.

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To Conservatives: I do not want kids, so get over it!!!!! [View all] Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 OP

People don't have social support, enough income, or social safety net. Manifestor_of_Light Feb 2013 #1

The idea that women like me are going to hurt the economy in the future is... Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #4

You don't see a problem because Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #41

I agree with LFR DaveJ Feb 2013 #65

Tell me more about these "frivolous" jobs.... Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #70

We have so many unemployed because there are not enough jobs that are needed. DaveJ Feb 2013 #75

I am going to pretend I never asked. n/t Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #76

What is, "Who wants to change old people's diapers?" FrodosPet Feb 2013 #111

That's a "frivolous" job? Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #113

Oh, and how about after you've decided to have a child? A short pause and maddiemom Feb 2013 #96

I know... Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #100

I agree with the OP, and I know about the points you make. Nevertheless, it is not my Dark n Stormy Knight Feb 2013 #101

I specifically said I was not telling her to have babies.... Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #106

She already had noted that she had heard the arguments, yet you reiterated them and Dark n Stormy Knight Feb 2013 #115

And you can't see the distinction Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #118

LOL. You're hilarious. Dark n Stormy Knight Feb 2013 #119

Post removed Post removed Feb 2013 #121

I'd read Millenials are nearly equal in # to Boomers KakistocracyHater Feb 2013 #152

It's not "women like you" jeff47 Feb 2013 #91

Nah, they'd just fall on their knees in public and demand that God Heal! HEAL! you . . . . hatrack Feb 2013 #142

China, South Korea and Japan are all having a much greater problem then the US davidpdx Feb 2013 #148

+1! yellerpup Feb 2013 #11

I have heard great reviews! Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #14

It answers all questions yellerpup Feb 2013 #19

Best answer award! Dark n Stormy Knight Feb 2013 #108

I always launched into a spiel about my four-legged furry children and how lucky I am & hlthe2b Feb 2013 #2

My dog used to borrow my damned car all the time. n/t A HERETIC I AM Feb 2013 #32

But did he wreck it? hlthe2b Feb 2013 #35

No, but the little fucker thought it was funny to dress up and drive around on holidays.... A HERETIC I AM Feb 2013 #46

heh heh... hlthe2b Feb 2013 #134

Cute davidpdx Feb 2013 #150

The late, great Mr. Beau Brummel (BB) was incredibly patient..... A HERETIC I AM Feb 2013 #155

Sorry to hear he's not around anymore davidpdx Feb 2013 #157

Will it wear hats? n/t A HERETIC I AM Feb 2013 #158

No, he misbehaves davidpdx Feb 2013 #160

Keep him A HERETIC I AM Feb 2013 #161

We have a full fledged teen. nadinbrzezinski Feb 2013 #77

aww, the purfect children...... hlthe2b Feb 2013 #133

As soon as I cook the steak nadinbrzezinski Feb 2013 #135

Dogs or Cats? davidpdx Feb 2013 #149

NO woman should be made to give the rest of this century to her child. stuntcat Feb 2013 #3

I am so sorry that your relatives are so awful to you about this. Squinch Feb 2013 #126

. stuntcat Feb 2013 #162

Oh, boy. They sound like psychos. Squinch Feb 2013 #163

Our brains have evolved to the extent Cirque du So-What Feb 2013 #5

"Your right to not have children trumps my right to be a Grandma" HockeyMom Feb 2013 #6

I don't blame you; having children is expensive, Jamaal510 Feb 2013 #7

And now they are starting in on fear of non population. Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #10

Hang in there. I have always found that, if you scratch the surface with these people, Squinch Feb 2013 #38

or that you had theirs........... lastlib Feb 2013 #55

Or that anyone had theirs so they could get the hell out of it! Squinch Feb 2013 #57

I agree! meeshrox Feb 2013 #59

I remember one time: Squinch Feb 2013 #69

Wow, what can you say to that? meeshrox Feb 2013 #122

It kind of broke my heart for her. Because she was actually a well meaning person, and Squinch Feb 2013 #125

Bingo. I get static all the time from married co-workers for still being single Populist_Prole Feb 2013 #82

It gets clearer as you get older. Once your contemporaries start hitting the Squinch Feb 2013 #87

Or they become thoroughly broken of spirit Populist_Prole Feb 2013 #97

That always makes me feel badly for them. But it also seems to me that living a life without Squinch Feb 2013 #105

I am not a nice person pipi_k Feb 2013 #8

Good for you! hamsterjill Feb 2013 #9

My father is extremely upset with us over this... Earth_First Feb 2013 #12

I don't think you're at the end of your biological means. But certainly, if you don't want kids, Iris Feb 2013 #78

My mother was 35 when I was born, and 37 when my brother was born. Not even SWTORFanatic Feb 2013 #81

You're not "at the end". jeff47 Feb 2013 #94

Very responsible, good on ya. galileoreloaded Feb 2013 #137

I'm 64, damn near 65 yo madokie Feb 2013 #13

I love that "selfish" meme. Zoeisright Feb 2013 #15

Ironically, the last person to pull that old crap on me MineralMan Feb 2013 #16

If you see her again, Ilsa Feb 2013 #20

It would do no good at all. MineralMan Feb 2013 #24

But, properly cooked, some kids are OK. Fuddnik Feb 2013 #31

As W.C. Fields said: MineralMan Feb 2013 #39

I'm not as nice as you are. Warpy Feb 2013 #42

I'd like to meet this kid ProudToBeBlueInRhody Feb 2013 #52

You're pro-environment athena Feb 2013 #17

George Washington, "the Father of our country", had no children- LeftinOH Feb 2013 #18

With this new kick starting about the fear of not having enough workers in the future, Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #21

Washington wasn't fertile--Martha came to the marriage with two kids... Moonwalk Feb 2013 #71

Washington had smallpox as a young man, Brigid Feb 2013 #89

We decided on cats. Cheaper and easier to train. Tierra_y_Libertad Feb 2013 #22

Amen maddiemom Feb 2013 #99

I get that constantly... meeshrox Feb 2013 #23

I am 35 and have no plans on kids... a la izquierda Feb 2013 #25

I have two children but completely support your choice... hughee99 Feb 2013 #26

Odd part is that the running out of people thing seems to be the reason.. Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #29

Funny, on the one hand you have fundies talking about the need for more people hughee99 Feb 2013 #37

THAT's the rub here ProudToBeBlueInRhody Feb 2013 #53

Yup. You are understanding them correctly. Jamastiene Feb 2013 #132

More fundamentalist white people, that is - southern, if at all possible hatrack Feb 2013 #86

Their problem is not enough WAPS being born pstokely Feb 2013 #146

If we really needed more workers we could always make it easier to legally immigrate to here. eShirl Feb 2013 #27

That is what I thought, but then again right wing dumbness can't look at that.n/t Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #33

Hang in there. I'm 60 and still get questions like, "Why didn't you have children?" To which livetohike Feb 2013 #28

That's when I want to say, "Oh, they're in the backyard. winter is coming Feb 2013 #36

LOL....good one. Several of my friends have one child livetohike Feb 2013 #40

But, but, but amb123 Feb 2013 #30

What is bad is the intervention session that a couple of old ladies did. Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #45

You & me both! amb123 Feb 2013 #51

To which I would be tempted to answer, "Yep." And then smile broadly. Squinch Feb 2013 #128

I've never understood this. winter is coming Feb 2013 #34

I wish I knew. Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #61

Ironically enough, the people I've encountered like this appear to be crappy parents. n/t winter is coming Feb 2013 #85

Their doing the lords work by bulling someone into having babies pstokely Feb 2013 #147

I lack the maternal gene also, which is fortunate because I had monster endometriosis starting at catbyte Feb 2013 #43

As someone who always wanted kids, SheilaT Feb 2013 #44

Just tell them Ann Coulter is your role model DFW Feb 2013 #47

Good for you! RoccoR5955 Feb 2013 #48

Your life, your choice LibertyLover Feb 2013 #49

That's disgusting ProudToBeBlueInRhody Feb 2013 #56

A friend of mine is white, married to an Asian American. wildeyed Feb 2013 #102

My aunt gets that laundry_queen Feb 2013 #138

This is one (of many) aspect of the sexual revolution felix_numinous Feb 2013 #50

I Grew Up In The Same Era As You Did. We all wanted to be independent and free. Yavin4 Feb 2013 #66

I'm sure the stigma you speak of is worse for women than for men. bluestateguy Feb 2013 #54

I sometimes on the receiving end of the stigma of being single, some people are real A-holes Populist_Prole Feb 2013 #93

Like being talked down to like you are a child or a teenager bluestateguy Feb 2013 #103

Exactly Populist_Prole Feb 2013 #110

Not having kids is the responsible choice. Joe Shlabotnik Feb 2013 #58

Hurt the economy? Are these the same people who don't want illegal immigrants made citizens...? Moonwalk Feb 2013 #60

Yep, same ones. Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #79

I Suppose Those People Missed the International Reports about Overpopulation of the Earth? dballance Feb 2013 #62

They must have. Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #92

Conformity ProudToBeBlueInRhody Feb 2013 #63

If you change your mind you can have mine tularetom Feb 2013 #64

Message auto-removed Thundare Feb 2013 #67

You are making a wise decision. My daughter, 42, made the same one. When my plethoro Feb 2013 #68

Until they find a cure for death, why have a kid? DaveJ Feb 2013 #72

They ought to be happy about it.... Flying Squirrel Feb 2013 #73

It's really nobody's business. I don't criticize people for having zero kids, Nye Bevan Feb 2013 #74

I us to think that too. Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #84

I'd rather have this Kid. >> BlueJazz Feb 2013 #80

Thanks for the not-so-gentle OldHippieChick Feb 2013 #83

Because I have Turner's Syndrome, I couldn't have kids. Brigid Feb 2013 #88

Only people who want kids should have kids Taverner Feb 2013 #90

I know! Simple idea. Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #95

It's a choice, and not a choice that should be made lightly. Warren DeMontague Feb 2013 #98

That is what I always though. Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #104

I'm fortunate to live in a relatively secular, MYOB, liberal corner of the country, I guess. Warren DeMontague Feb 2013 #109

Don't they get it? FrodosPet Feb 2013 #107

Good for you! smirkymonkey Feb 2013 #112

all they care about is more white babies BainsBane Feb 2013 #114

Then I would be the lat person they want having kids. Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #120

More White Babies..for the "Revolution" ode2joi Feb 2013 #153

It's because they are racists at core. alarimer Feb 2013 #116

Pick one. Lady Freedom Returns Feb 2013 #123

There are a few reasons people do this davidn3600 Feb 2013 #117

These conservatives sceam about "freedom" and "liberty". Dawson Leery Feb 2013 #124

Yep. They're insistent that they be given the freedom and liberty to tell others what to do. Dark n Stormy Knight Feb 2013 #130

I say good for you LFR! truegrit44 Feb 2013 #127

Oh noes, the entire species DEPENDS on YOU having children. Jamastiene Feb 2013 #129

and also........ truegrit44 Feb 2013 #131

At 35 I don't blame you one bit. galileoreloaded Feb 2013 #136

I hate to say it laundry_queen Feb 2013 #139

Early in my marriage maryellen99 Feb 2013 #140

Add me to the list of unwomanly, inhuman economy-wrecking harlots REP Feb 2013 #141

I do not want children either. JesterCS Feb 2013 #143

What a great post and thread mike dub Feb 2013 #144

I agree with you! Nobody's damn business! DearHeart Feb 2013 #145

I agree with you and I think men should be just as thoughtful as to whether they want children davidpdx Feb 2013 #151

I feel bad for you LittleBlue Feb 2013 #154

No kids at 43 gaspee Feb 2013 #156

I'm just happy mine was born early madville Feb 2013 #159

Knew since I was 16 NightOwwl Feb 2013 #164