So I'm Grabbing Some Cheese At The Grocery Store... [View all]

[JFN1]

...for grilled cheese and tomato soup (yumm!) for dinner tonight. I'm in a rather sagacious mood, one of those moods in which many things strike me as funny, when normally, they probably would not - which usually leads to many, many bad jokes issuing from my freely flapping gums.

At the checkout I am cheerfully greeted by a middle-aged woman, who scans my few items and pleasantly reports the total. As I am digging through my pocket for change, I notice a "Vote Newt" button on her shirt, peeking out from behind her checker's vest/smock/whatever the hell it is. I hand over my bills and change and almost - almost - ask her if she plans to vote for Mittens - I had a whole routine worked out, along classic "Who's on first?" lines. But somehow, with truly heroic effort, I manage to restrain myself and say nothing.

I grab my bag 'o groceries, and as I turn to leave, the checker calls over my shoulder, "Have a blessed evening!"

Sigh.

The words echo through my skull, and for some reason I instantly think about Tebow's "blessed" football season, and the bible verse he had displayed as part of his uniform in Denver's last (losing) game of the season (ah, the hilarious irony...).

For the record - I am not against anyone having their religion. Really. I do, however, resent having someone else's religion jammed down my throat - I don't like being used in that way. It bugs me. A lot.

And given my mood (smart-ass meter off the scale), before I can muster the discipline to stop myself, I turn, smile broadly at the woman as I catch her eyes, and say, sweetly, "And Satan be with you," then turn, groceries in hand, and head out the door.

As I am leaving, the woman, in a voice decidedly not so pleasant now, loudly calls after me, "What did you say?" And then just as loudly and even more unpleasantly, I hear her ask someone else (I don't know who), "Did you hear what he just said to me?" I am trying so hard not to giggle out loud as I hit the parking lot. Almost made it, too...

I know...I know...and even if I regret the immaturity and lack of discipline which allowed it...man, that was freakin' fun...the look on her face...priceless...I know, I'm so bad...I wonder if she'll be praying for me tonight...