Are kids today ruder and more disrespectful than they were in the past?

[laundry_queen]

37. I can relate to this

my parents were very much into the 'seen and not heard' crap (I was born in '75). I was shamed, belittled, and bullied into behaving and being a 'polite child', and screw any of my feelings (not just talking 'i haz a sad' here, I'm talking about being famished or extremely thirsty and feeling ill and being "poohpooh'ed" and being called a baby, or getting a whack for 'being annoying'). My parents were more concerned that people thought I was a 'good child' so they could look like wonderful parents. My dad used to enjoy getting my brother and I to fetch him everything he wanted. Beers and other drinks, snacks, tv remote, you name it. We would complain and he would say, "why have kids if they don't serve you like you should be served? I put this roof over your head." My mother made us do all of the housework - I'm not talking chores here, I'm talking ALL of the housework. And she'd inspect it, and punish you if you left some streaks on the mirror....Let's just say when I became a teen I rebelled - and rebelled good. I became rude, disrespectful and treated them exactly how they had treated me all those years....

Now I'm the parent of a teenager. My teen was raised in a totally different manner. From day one, she was respected, as a human being. That doesn't mean I spoiled her rotten, or that there was no discipline or chores. It means I found a better way, a way that guided my children to act intrinsically and with empathy so that harsh discipline was rarely needed (and I never spanked or hit at all, harsh discipline is 'grounding' or time out).

My teen is a joy. She is respectful, she is polite, she is socially aware, she is an activist. I'm so very proud of her. Her friends are the same. I enjoy having them in my home. They are FAR more polite and respectful than me and my friends EVER were. Teachers, relatives, friends and random neighbors come up to me to tell me how nice my daughter is. I have a feeling that how a child is raised DOES have something to do with rudeness, but not in the way people expect. People want parents to CONTROL their kids and MAKE them behave. I know from experience that extrinsic enforcement never works when the parent is not present. It's better to teach a child empathy (and show it!) and intrinsic motivation, then you don't have to worry about their behavior when they are out of your sight.

Also, I think it's important to remember 'times are a changing'. My mother thinks the young 'uns at her work are the rudest people alive because they check their phone all the time and sometimes wear black jeans to work. Social norms have changed and just because something was considered rude when you were a youngster doesn't mean it still is. Once upon a time it was rude for a lady to show her ankles. Thank goodness THAT doesn't exist anymore.