General Discussion

phylny

(8,818 posts)

150. Exactly!

Wed Feb 13, 2013, 09:54 PM

Feb 2013

Boy, it's as though every guy and gal who end up getting pregnant had NO idea about birth control, were NEVER told a thing about it from anyone, and had sex having NO idea a baby could happen!

I agree with the posters who say that the female has the final say, but let me tell you the reality I see where I live.

I provide early intervention services, so I'm in a lot of homes of young parents and young kids. The vast majority of kids I serve are in households with one parent, usually the mother. Dad is either one of many fathers, or not around. Mom has no job, pubic housing or assistance for housing, food stamps (EBT), WIC, and the child has Medicaid. The child I see may or may not be the only child. Mom knows she can't support one child because she doesn't have a job, and Dad just lost his job, or maybe never had one, or perhaps is incarcerated, so there's no money coming in. Mom obviously knows that she got pregnant because she didn't use birth control, she knows that she needs public assistance to keep going, but whoops!

Pregnant again.

Too bad her parents didn't have a frank talk with her.

My dilemma is that I'm a bleeding heart liberal, but even I get a little sick of the lack of personal responsibility after a while.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

174 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Pregnant Texas teen files suit against parents in abortion feud [View all] SpankMe Feb 2013 OP

I am hoping that your last sentence proves correct. Sheldon Cooper Feb 2013 #1

In a rational world Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #2

It is her body and her choice bluestateguy Feb 2013 #3

Husbands also insist. One example, woman takes pill for many years to not have a child as they work. freshwest Feb 2013 #59

I know of a case where this type of thing happened in a very LIBERAL marriage. CTyankee Feb 2013 #164

I am pro-choice. If this girl wants to keep her baby then she should be able to. However, southernyankeebelle Feb 2013 #107

I agree with you in principle bluestateguy Feb 2013 #111

That is sad. My son had a child out of wedlock and eventually married the girl. He southernyankeebelle Feb 2013 #158

She doesn't necessarily want to keep it marshall Feb 2013 #153

If she wants to give it up for adoption that is fine. However, her parents should be responsible southernyankeebelle Feb 2013 #156

Why are her parents responsible? leftynyc Feb 2013 #160

Totally agree theHandpuppet Feb 2013 #161

That's their choice leftynyc Feb 2013 #163

Because a 16 yr old is usually still in school and I know that the girls parents always southernyankeebelle Feb 2013 #165

That's their choice leftynyc Feb 2013 #166

I wasn't talking about 18 yr old. Am talking about 16 yr old who are most likely still southernyankeebelle Feb 2013 #167

I'm wondering if she realizes leftynyc Feb 2013 #168

I don't know. But good parents will likely take up the slack. southernyankeebelle Feb 2013 #169

That wouldn't teach her a lesson leftynyc Feb 2013 #172

Well your twin is wise to do that. But you are talking about innocent baby who didn't southernyankeebelle Feb 2013 #173

Let me ask you this. What if it were your grandchild? Could you give it up? southernyankeebelle Feb 2013 #174

My brother went through this with his girlfriend Puzzledtraveller Feb 2013 #4

She should be allowed to have this baby if she wants ck4829 Feb 2013 #5

And who will support the baby? And new mother? marybourg Feb 2013 #10

She could give the child up for adoption leftynyc Feb 2013 #14

And what if she doesn't want to do that either? marybourg Feb 2013 #16

It's her choice, marybourg! Fantastic Anarchist Feb 2013 #53

She needs to put on her big girl pants and support that child herself. If she can't, kestrel91316 Feb 2013 #98

Yes, yes, and yes. n/t KarenS Feb 2013 #103

+1 nt Selatius Feb 2013 #154

Then she's going to grow up - very fast leftynyc Feb 2013 #159

exactly. judgment is what the right does. We fight for freedom not judgment. liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #18

This message was self-deleted by its author leftyohiolib Feb 2013 #15

You have valid points but they still all go with the pregnant teen's CHOICE. nt riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #17

Valid points. HappyMe Feb 2013 #21

I wasn't disagreeing with her choice. I was marybourg Feb 2013 #24

Forcing her to have an abortion she HappyMe Feb 2013 #41

This is not going to be a popular opinion but I believe it is my job to raise ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #43

^exactly this Marrah_G Feb 2013 #49

Good response. This is what I decided when my 16 yo daughter told me she was pregnant. Arkansas Granny Feb 2013 #62

that's the way it should be. I'm glad you have such love in your life. liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #67

I agree with you, popular opinion or not. LiberalAndProud Feb 2013 #70

I did not make a distinct choice to raise my unwed teenage daughter's child Sheldon Cooper Feb 2013 #74

I'm talking about the choice of the parent to have the child (who later ends up pregnant) ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #76

The poster you were replying to was speaking from that angle. Sheldon Cooper Feb 2013 #79

But get the red out Feb 2013 #124

I totally agree. It's why I caution my 14-year-old son quite often. ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #125

+1. Absolutely nt riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #127

"And who will support the baby? And new mother?" NCTraveler Feb 2013 #51

You can't allow "social concerns" to outweigh an individuals right to self-determination Xithras Feb 2013 #52

Those are certainly all fair questions bluestateguy Feb 2013 #60

I will, with my tax dollars. Iggo Feb 2013 #69

me too. gladly. liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #72

Me too. LittleBlue Feb 2013 #171

Taxpayers. Moral taxpayers, that is. Zoeisright Feb 2013 #97

One thing we know for certain xxqqqzme Feb 2013 #102

These things are not at issue treestar Feb 2013 #116

The choice is hers BUT get the red out Feb 2013 #123

not sure what welfare laws are if you are a minor living with parents JI7 Feb 2013 #130

what about a 16 y.o.s choice to drink alchohol, drive a car own a firearm leftyohiolib Feb 2013 #11

It is HER body Marrah_G Feb 2013 #50

Then it is entirely incumbent upon this young girl to divorce herself legally from her parents. KittyWampus Feb 2013 #63

i said the same thing and was called a republican for it leftyohiolib Feb 2013 #66

So, we should only have children for the good times? ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #82

So, just toss her out? HappyMe Feb 2013 #90

I agree with you there HockeyMom Feb 2013 #106

Her parents shouldn't be responsible, but they are, legally til this girl is 18 yrs old. nt riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #110

so does that mean if she rode a bicycle without a helmet they could say liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #117

I've already said downthread and upthread I agree with you. nt riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #118

Unless she is declared Emancipated Minor HockeyMom Feb 2013 #119

The parents bear part of the responsibility for this pregnancy, IMHO, kestrel91316 Feb 2013 #108

she doesn't live with her parents it said as much in the article azurnoir Feb 2013 #115

I am not disagreeing tblue Feb 2013 #92

It is not about a 10 year old, it is about a 16 year old Marrah_G Feb 2013 #95

I know that. tblue Feb 2013 #138

When you force a young woman to do something like this you create great harm Marrah_G Feb 2013 #141

Of course. Marra_G. I am NOT saying force this woman to do anything. tblue Feb 2013 #148

Oh good... I'm sorry that I misjudged what you were saying Marrah_G Feb 2013 #149

+ 100 Auntie Bush Feb 2013 #58

Her body her choice. JaneyVee Feb 2013 #6

I think it's wrong of the girl's HappyMe Feb 2013 #7

If you search elsewhere in your media you will find dipsydoodle Feb 2013 #19

This is the point I've always tried to make - that choice thing works both ways!! SaveAmerica Feb 2013 #8

hear, hear! Puzzledtraveller Feb 2013 #12

Good for her. MadrasT Feb 2013 #9

when does a girl become a woman snooper2 Feb 2013 #20

you'd have to define woman - just so not to be sexist. the same can be said about boy to man leftyohiolib Feb 2013 #22

that's what laws are for right? snooper2 Feb 2013 #23

im not sure what you mean. the law says you're not really able to make your own decisions leftyohiolib Feb 2013 #27

16 and 17 year olds get jobs, get apartments, and even get tried as adults if they commit liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #29

they get jobs with workers permits (or have they been done away with) leftyohiolib Feb 2013 #33

I have friends who have had babies at 17 and have gone out on their own liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #36

ok but that's not what we're talking about leftyohiolib Feb 2013 #73

If her parents don't want to help raise the child they can tell her to get out liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #77

Actually that's not true. Parents are legally responsible for minor children til they are 18 yrs old riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #86

It happens everyday. I know friends who have been kicked out for being pregnant. liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #89

I understand. But if this child is already seeking legal redress against her parents, riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #96

Maybe. Maybe not. All she is doing right now is suing for the right to have the child. liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #99

Doesn't change the law - the parents are responsible for this girl. riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #109

This message was self-deleted by its author avebury Feb 2013 #145

Yep, and I know one who had a baby at nineteen, and juajen Feb 2013 #134

So when can a 14-15-16-17 year old decide she wants an abortion snooper2 Feb 2013 #30

when she's out of the nest and on her own, paying her own bills - leftyohiolib Feb 2013 #37

sorry but that sounds like republican talk to me liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #42

your situation is not the situation being discussed leftyohiolib Feb 2013 #57

You do realize you are arguing for parents to deny a 16-year-old the joeybee12 Feb 2013 #32

I haven't taken any side in this case... snooper2 Feb 2013 #35

I realize that...but if you say she has no right to decide to keep the child; joeybee12 Feb 2013 #38

of course.... snooper2 Feb 2013 #39

There's lots to consider...and terminating a preganncy is not joeybee12 Feb 2013 #40

+1 Hell Hath No Fury Feb 2013 #31

She should be able to make her own choice Marrah_G Feb 2013 #13

but she is not ON her own and HER decision will affect and involve everyone around her leftyohiolib Feb 2013 #26

Some people here seem to forget that very important fact: she is not alone on her own BlueCaliDem Feb 2013 #44

agreed leftyohiolib Feb 2013 #68

Agreed! I know many women who are raising their grandchildren. queenjane Feb 2013 #88

As I said upthread--then perhaps her parents should reconsider their own choice to have a child. ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #46

I agree 100%. HappyMe Feb 2013 #56

You don't know that mom (and dad) didn't do that. Mariana Feb 2013 #71

A frank talk about the HappyMe Feb 2013 #80

And what if during a frank talk Mariana Feb 2013 #105

Exactly! phylny Feb 2013 #150

+ 5 brazillion kestrel91316 Feb 2013 #112

+1 liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #64

But we deal with them-since we are the adults- we marybourg Feb 2013 #81

Sorry, but I didn't have my kids only for the stress-free moments. ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #84

my dad still helps all of us whenever we need help liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #85

And that's his choice leftynyc Feb 2013 #162

That doesn't matter Marrah_G Feb 2013 #47

I agree 100%. liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #48

That doesn't MATTER? How many people are you prepared to support for 21 years without marybourg Feb 2013 #83

It is HER choice, HER body, HER choice! Marrah_G Feb 2013 #93

I gladly pay taxes to help people in these exact situations liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #94

I think you mean 18 years. Once 18, no one has any obligation to him/her anymore. kestrel91316 Feb 2013 #114

Varies by state. marybourg Feb 2013 #120

It does. In TX however, where this case is, it's 18 years old. Other states its 21 yrs old. nt riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #126

There are states where one is NOT legally an adult at 18??? Do tell - link, please. kestrel91316 Feb 2013 #128

Here's one link that deals with illegal behavior - Nebraska parents are responsible til 19 yrs old riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #137

Actually it would be less then two years Marrah_G Feb 2013 #142

She may be eligible for assistance Puzzledtraveller Feb 2013 #55

thank you for the service you provide liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #61

Thank you too. Puzzledtraveller Feb 2013 #65

An excellent case of "be careful what you wish for" for the anti-choicers. 2ndAmForComputers Feb 2013 #25

good for her. How can you force someone to have an abortion? liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #28

This setup smells. Archae Feb 2013 #34

So the anti-abortion group is pro-choice. progressoid Feb 2013 #45

Her body, her choice. That is what Pro-CHOICE means. nt Dreamer Tatum Feb 2013 #54

It is HER choice, just as it would be if she wanted an abortion and her parents opposed it. NYC Liberal Feb 2013 #75

Her body, her choice. The situation or group helping her Dash87 Feb 2013 #78

I have to concur that she should be able to choose whether or not Proud Liberal Dem Feb 2013 #87

All legal theories are convenient. aikoaiko Feb 2013 #91

Right to choose also means she can choose to have the child davidn3600 Feb 2013 #100

I have based arguments on this exact scenario against parental notification loyalsister Feb 2013 #101

Three very very telling snips from the article that lead me to believe this is BS+ azurnoir Feb 2013 #104

That's what I got reading this. Completely fabricated bullshit from the anti-choice scum. Egalitarian Thug Feb 2013 #121

yep and it sounds as if perhaps the anti-choicers azurnoir Feb 2013 #132

Exactly. The republicans and their Corporate Dem allies favorite division issue. n/t Egalitarian Thug Feb 2013 #136

Pro Choice means it is her choice. But, supporting the child is kiranon Feb 2013 #131

sounds more like it'll fall on her Grandparents azurnoir Feb 2013 #135

They can't treestar Feb 2013 #113

I smell total BS LeftInTX Feb 2013 #122

I wonder if her parents Politicalboi Feb 2013 #129

Our 17-year old daughter got pregnant riqster Feb 2013 #133

The girl does not need an abortion as much as she avebury Feb 2013 #139

Denise is the 16 year old girl's mother, not the 16 year old herself Marrah_G Feb 2013 #143

If the girl decides to give the baby up avebury Feb 2013 #147

I have to laugh at the responses in this thread. Le Taz Hot Feb 2013 #140

I defend the right to choose Marrah_G Feb 2013 #144

I'm just constantly amazed Le Taz Hot Feb 2013 #146

I do not think those people advocated legal action toward Dugger. joshcryer Feb 2013 #151

Actually, they advocated Le Taz Hot Feb 2013 #152

If that is so that is unfortunate. joshcryer Feb 2013 #155

That personal opinion Le Taz Hot Feb 2013 #157

It's her body, her choice. Period LittleBlue Feb 2013 #170