General Discussion

bama_blue_dot

(224 posts)

8. Your reply brings tears to my eyes..

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 08:48 AM

Feb 2013

You say I should go to a DV shelter, but would I need to do that if I have a place to live? I understand the need for counseling (which I have no insurance for) but I figure my best option is making him leave my home.. His parents have offered to take him in, and see that he gets the help he needs, I just dread the whole ordeal of trying to get him out of the house.. I really don't want my children to see police come here.. I remember seeing police in my house when I was younger, and being so scared. (They were there because my mom was a drug addict, not because of domestic violence).. I may just have his parents come get him instead.. Why do I feel so bad that I am making him leave?? I feel like a horrible person! God, I am so afraid of him being hurt even worse..

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My ongoing exposure to domestic violence [View all] bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 OP

You need to get some counseling. raccoon Feb 2013 #1

Thank you bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #3

From me to you life long demo Feb 2013 #64

That's a tough one. You need professional advice, I think. Laelth Feb 2013 #2

thanks for the links bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #5

Those books are for the family members of a person who has BPD. Laelth Feb 2013 #6

I agree. You should find an abused women's shelter. Don't try to go there, just call. bluestate10 Feb 2013 #79

You are not alone intaglio Feb 2013 #4

I am sorry this is happening to you mecherosegarden Feb 2013 #7

Your reply brings tears to my eyes.. bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #8

If he won't leave, you have to kdmorris Feb 2013 #13

Please do seek help mecherosegarden Feb 2013 #23

Domestic Violence hotline Sienna86 Feb 2013 #9

Thanks bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #15

"Borderline Personality Disorder" is not something you want to raise kids around. bemildred Feb 2013 #10

I was in your situation 20 years ago kdmorris Feb 2013 #11

it's amazing how many of our situations bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #14

I'm going to tell you something you probably don't want to hear Glitterati Feb 2013 #18

I agree with Glitterati... kdmorris Feb 2013 #49

I sent you handmade34 Feb 2013 #12

Go and soon. a la izquierda Feb 2013 #16

Leave him, as everyone says, but in the meantime, ERASE THIS FROM YOUR SEARCH HISTORY! Squinch Feb 2013 #17

The thing that convinced me I had to leave lunatica Feb 2013 #19

That is how I feel.. bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #29

Take small steps so you can go if you want Chantel Feb 2013 #20

Physical abuse.Emotional abuse. Physical and emotional manipulation. geckosfeet Feb 2013 #21

I agree.. bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #22

Yes. I think that warm comfy spot is a good part of a relationship. But when it is geckosfeet Feb 2013 #69

Please seek help from people trained to deal with these situations. redqueen Feb 2013 #24

What I Did: distantearlywarning Feb 2013 #25

+ a MILLION! FirstLight Feb 2013 #74

I had no idea my fellow humans were capabale of horrors like this NNN0LHI Feb 2013 #26

you need to end the relationship. please barbtries Feb 2013 #27

I don't have any family here.. bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #31

i've read this entire thread barbtries Feb 2013 #37

Thank you. bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #42

Don't avoid calling the police because it's "traumatizing for the kids." They've been through enough Brickbat Feb 2013 #63

They CAN'T be more traumatized Glitterati Feb 2013 #65

My father promised my mother Glitterati Feb 2013 #34

i'm so glad you got out alive barbtries Feb 2013 #40

I still haven't forgiven myself Glitterati Feb 2013 #56

This. All of this. nt redqueen Feb 2013 #89

Been There - Left The Abuser otohara Feb 2013 #28

All my family bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #30

This Doesn't Sound Good otohara Feb 2013 #44

Yea, it is a big clusterfuck.. bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #48

Call Them otohara Feb 2013 #51

I agree with you.. n/t bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #54

Reach out today - don't wait anymore aintitfunny Feb 2013 #32

Thank you bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #33

There is no winning in a relationship with a Borderline. slackmaster Feb 2013 #35

Have you dealt with this personally? bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #36

Yes. I struggled for several months, then gave up and broke off the relationship. slackmaster Feb 2013 #41

Oh wow.. bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #45

That's exactly how Borderlines emotionally blackmail people. slackmaster Feb 2013 #50

Unless you want your kids to be more like their dad, you will get out and away from him! Dustlawyer Feb 2013 #38

That is my worst fear.. bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #39

Take it one day at a time and do it! Later you will look back and wished you had done it sooner! Dustlawyer Feb 2013 #53

point. this is what the boys learn. (and if she had girls, they would learn to live with it) nt seabeyond Feb 2013 #43

I don't have any advice to add HappyMe Feb 2013 #46

Been there, done that. The hot line is supernova Feb 2013 #47

What am I suppose to do bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #52

You're more likely to get good answers from a hotline professional than on this forum slackmaster Feb 2013 #55

I have gotten exactly what I needed.. bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #59

Humans before things supernova Feb 2013 #58

"After I get his name off the deed, I can have the police remove him, and he will have no recourse" kdmorris Feb 2013 #73

Your home is useless to you if you are roody Feb 2013 #77

Be careful with that. Thegonagle Feb 2013 #87

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful responses bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #57

If I had the money for more...I'd give you a bunch of hearts. Auntie Bush Feb 2013 #84

Wishing you the best, bama Cal Carpenter Feb 2013 #60

If I were you noamnety Feb 2013 #61

I would leave him if I were you. For yourself, for your kids, and for your kids' future families. Brickbat Feb 2013 #62

You need to talk to a counselor. lumberjack_jeff Feb 2013 #66

I don't have any advice that hasn't already been mentioned, but Arkansas Granny Feb 2013 #67

Adding to my post above life long demo Feb 2013 #68

I'm not going to lecture you... ljm2002 Feb 2013 #70

"I'm just so afraid of being alone," you say. Tsiyu Feb 2013 #71

You already know everything you need to know. Stay safe. aikoaiko Feb 2013 #72

" I am just so afraid of being alone." ScreamingMeemie Feb 2013 #75

Please go to therapy for yourself. roody Feb 2013 #76

Please get some help - cliffordu Feb 2013 #78

Please! Sissyk Feb 2013 #80

You need to take your power back. Faux pas Feb 2013 #81

My husbands ex- wife had BPD ismnotwasm Feb 2013 #82

Bama, you've been given some great advice here, but you seem to be making excuses to ignore it all. MoonRiver Feb 2013 #83

Well said Moonriver. Auntie Bush Feb 2013 #86

I noticed Bama hasn't been on this thread today after she said her thinks. Auntie Bush Feb 2013 #85

How sweet of you to worry! bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #88

From one woman LWolf Feb 2013 #90