My ongoing exposure to domestic violence

[slackmaster]

41. Yes. I struggled for several months, then gave up and broke off the relationship.

She refused to seek treatment.

Extremely condensed version: I caught her in a suicide attempt, called 911, and the police took her in to the county psychiatric lockup. It took her 10 days to talk her way out. She continued to deny that she was trying to kill herself. But by then her lies weren't fooling anyone. I terminated the relationship, and broke off all contact.

Seven weeks later she was dead.

Your situation is different because there are children involved. The physical abuse is unacceptable regardless of your husband's diagnosis. For your own safety, and for that of your children, you need to get out.

Treating BPD takes years. There may be no improvement at all for a long, long time, and that's if he agrees to treatment and sticks with it and really applies himself.

Pardon the edits and sloppy typing. It's been over a year since she died, I've gotten much better, but it still upsets me to think about it.

ETA, hopefully the final edit:

One thing I learned about 25 years ago, from a therapist, is what I call the Oxygen Mask Rule.

He asked me if I knew why flight attendants tell airline passengers to put the mask on themselves first, and then help others.

I knew the right answer. My therapist told me that only about 10% of his clients got it right.

Please think about that. You need to save yourself in order to save yourself, AND your children.