My ongoing exposure to domestic violence

[kdmorris]

49. I agree with Glitterati...

You are not a bad mother, it's not your fault, you will not lose your house, but you need to get out and be safe. If you have no one that can help you, then reach out to the closest Domestic Violence Shelter. They have the resources to help you and protect you. They can support you through getting the restraining order and getting him out of the house.

I ended up getting the house and a restraining order when I left my ex-husband, but it was not safe staying there. It's far better to sell the house and get yourself to an undisclosed location. It's harder when you have children. Like Glitterai said further down the thread, my 5 year old daughter told my ex-husband where we had moved to (she had no idea) and, in the end, the ONLY way I could be safe and protect my children was to press charges and put him in jail (I didn't want my daughters to blame me for putting their father in jail, but he got quite desperate after I left and stalked me for a year or so.) Long story short - after a couple more incidents of violence after I'd left, I pressed charges. He got 6 years for beating me and served 3.

The 3 years that he was in jail allowed me to get free, to go to school and to get myself and my daughters into counseling.

He doesn't deserve you if he's going to hit you and control your movements.