My ongoing exposure to domestic violence

[life long demo]

64. From me to you

I was married to an abusive alcoholic husband. I stayed for 14 years, 13 of which were abusive, physical and emotional. It is not easy to leave, but that in the end is your only answer. Counseling is necessary before you do anything. Check in your area for centers for abused women. I'm not going to lie to you and say it's going to be easy, it's not but if I can do it, anyone can. But you have to start. Once you start it will give you the strength to continue. And yes, start calling the police when any, repeat any violence starts. You are just getting it on record. I don't know if the response now from the police will be any better than when I went through it, but it's one of the first steps. Counseling, counseling, counseling. You can ask him if he will go to counseling with you, but if he is like my husband, he'll tell you that you are the one with the problem, not him. You can't change him, you can only change you, and in the process, help your children. Remember there is nothing you can do that will stop his violence toward you, it is not about you, it's about him. You are welcomed to e-mail me on DU. Good luck, you can do it, even though you might think you can't. Remember, yes you can!