Umm . . . where are these 100,00 or so dolphins going?

[Tommy_Carcetti]

33. Here you go:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/dolphins-evolve-opposable-thumbs,284/

Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs


HONOLULU–In an announcement with grave implications for the primacy of the species of man, marine biologists at the Hawaii Oceanographic Institute reported Monday that dolphins, or family Delphinidae, have evolved opposable thumbs on their pectoral fins.

One of the evolved dolphins, whose opposable thumbs have struck fear in the hearts of humankind.

"I believe I speak for the entire human race when I say, 'Holy fuck,'" said Oceanographic Institute director Dr. James Aoki, noting that the dolphin has a cranial capacity 40 percent greater than that of humans. "That's it for us monkeys."

Aoki strongly urged humans, especially those living near the sea, to learn to communicate using a system of clicks and whistles in a frequency range of 4 to 150 kHz. He also encouraged humans to "start practicing their echolocation as soon as possible."

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(As an aside, this is the second straight post where I've responded by posting an Onion story. Don't judge.)