wall of midlife crisis. when did you hit it and how did you make it thru. edited...

[WCIL]

70. I am in the middle of mine

My children are grown and most likely are not ever going to live with me again. My "job" as mother is over, and I didn't make plans for a second career. It is hitting me in the face that I will have to work my retail job for another 18 years before I can go on Medicare, and I wonder if I have the stamina. Did I save enough for retirement? I am not houseproud, so staying at home being a homemaker has no appeal for me anymore, and I also need to contribute for my own sense of fairness. What do I do with the rest of my life? On the plus side, I am much more willing to put myself first sometimes, and I am me with no apologies. My people pleasing tendencies will always be here, but I can say no and mean it now.

My husband had his in his early '50's. He had his first grandchild at about the same time our younger two started college, and he convinced himself there was nothing else to look forward to except the grave. He moped for a long time, but he decided one day to take a computer course at the community college, and kept taking them. Computers and tech stuff is his new hobby (he had none before), and he has plans for an actual second (volunteer) career when he retires in 5 years. We are also taking more time to visit all the historic sites we live near but he never took time to see.

We both stopped living for others and started living for ourselves; he is much happier, I will get there.