wall of midlife crisis. when did you hit it and how did you make it thru. edited...

[marions ghost]

72. A well defined Midlife Crisis

--which I picture as a node on the linear graph of it all-- might be something of a luxury.

A time of reflection and redefinition that points an individual on a more realistic course is of course, an opportunity for positive change. Whoever gets the picture and can adjust is fortunate. Most make it through. But one of the worst classic cases I saw of negative response to this moment in life was a brilliant colleague who didn't get the promotion and so drank himself to death at mid-life (50). Nobody helped him.

It makes sense to acknowledge a turning point, but some go from crisis to crisis not having the option to label any one worse than the other. More like "the dark night of the soul." (to use a well-worn but useful term). In my case there were so many crises in my family at one point, crises on so many fronts (you name it)-- that I'm still sorting it out. An extended midlife crisis if you will, that essentially killed many realistic options. Forced to make decisions about very heavy things meant that I could not spend time pondering my own lack of attaining personal pinnacles. Forced to ratchet down goals and aspirations, with no options to move to Plan B or C or D even. I am not particularly bitter about this. Wistful, but not bitter. We are all dust in a vast stream, and we direct our destinies only so much. When you are in the core of a tornado, you give up the idea of permanence and control. You become more flexible. No serious physical illness myself, but I can say that I have faced life-threatening assaults of other kinds and survived. When this happens --many other typical concerns like appearance, status, power, things, even money (as long as one can get by) become irrelevant. There is freedom in letting those things go, and there IS another plateau beyond.

So this has passed finally. Am harder in some ways but more open in some--willing to see, feel, and speak Truth. Learned to trust my own instincts completely--& to instantly tell friend from foe. Became very aware of what is Wrong in social/political situations. And there's some BAD rot at the core of our society. It's normal to feel depressed at what we are witnessing--but I try to align myself with the forces of positive change (DU is one )and I believe we can create a better future here on earth. Not in my nature to give up. IMO this country is experiencing a similar momentous crisis requiring our collective self-examination-- and adjustment--the challenge is to face it. There's company out on this ledge, sharing this viewpoint. So I am hopeful.

Thanks for the opportunity to expound on the Big Picture seabeyond.