Psychiatrists to brand grief lasting longer than two weeks a mental illness

[Kalidurga]

12. I don't know the absolute of when is too much time to grieve.

I know of someone I used to work with that has held on to grief for over 20 years. I think that is too much time and should have been treated a long long time ago. I also think it matters how a person is grieving to say when is too much time. If a person is grieving in a destructive way i.e. with alcohol, gambling, dangerous behavior, overeating, lashing out, etc, then intervention should be done as soon as possible. Two weeks might actually be a good time to intervene. But, if a person is just taking a little longer to be happy again, two weeks is probably way too soon to ask for someone to just go back to normal. But, I would expect significant improvement in someone's mood after 2 month's like they can laugh at jokes again and get up and going a lot easier. I still wouldn't expect a person to be completely through the grief process. I am not even convinced it should be over in a year, but things should be improved to the point that life is going on and the person isn't going into bouts of depression over ever reminder of the trauma.

I think it's a very individual thing and I think it is going to be in direct proportion to the loss and the circumstances of the loss. Sudden death seems to be one of the harder things to deal with especially when it's occurs somewhere that is considered safe. I am thinking of all the mass murders we have heard about from Arizona on to Sandy Hook. I really wouldn't expect the people who lost someone there or even those that have been injured or those who were there but survived and without injury to just be able to go back to a normal state of mind in just two weeks. I wouldn't even expect them to be completely right in a year. I would expect a lot of improvement though.

I think grief is too personal and too complicated to put on a time line. I do think that if people are concerned about an individual in the grieving process they should ask that person to seek help in a very gentle way. And very gently try to figure out what is going on and asses how it's affecting that person's day to day life. But, to label someone with a mental illness after two weeks without a complete history and assessment of the entire situation seems a bit wrong.