General Discussion

davidthegnome

(2,983 posts)

97. I am sorry for your loss.

Sat Feb 23, 2013, 09:14 PM

Feb 2013

Those words are so inadequate. From one parent to another, I can only imagine your pain. I have a son I have not seen for a long time, but some day maybe I'll be able to. To know that he was gone would devastate me utterly.

I'm taking those pills. An SSRI, particularly, due to a diagnosis (fourteen years ago) of PTSD. I've definitely had my ups and downs with them, and the side effects can be ugly... but I never had anything like what you describe happen to me. I am so sorry you had to suffer through that. I know what it's like to suffer in silence, alone inside your head, when everything seems so dark, so hopeless, so agonizing. When pouring milk over your cereal in the morning seems like climbing a mighty big mountain...

Two weeks for a diagnosis of some form of mental illness... as a result of grief... is bizarre. It is completely and utterly inexcusable and a symptom of a psychiatric industry gone absolutely frigging bonkers. Some solutions only add to the problems they claim to be trying to solve. Some solutions are so far from practical, so far from positive, that it's absurd that any thinking person can take them seriously.

This is one of those "solutions". No one has a right to determine what is a "healthy amount of time" to grieve. It sickens me.

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Highlight:

Psychiatrists to brand grief lasting longer than two weeks a mental illness [View all] The Straight Story Feb 2013 OP

That way they can charge you the big bucks to put you on those happy pills, MadHound Feb 2013 #1

That is not how the pills work pediatricmedic Feb 2013 #7

I beg to differ nebenaube Feb 2013 #34

That's a fact, not an opinion elias7 Feb 2013 #129

But grief after the death of someone close is rarely a "short duration event." pnwmom Feb 2013 #64

Two years ago, my sister and I were talking about the death of my brother who died in 1974.... SwissTony Feb 2013 #125

Yes. My mother, many decades later, can still feel that way about a baby she lost. pnwmom Feb 2013 #126

I'm glad you think you know how these pills "work...." Th1onein Feb 2013 #95

I am sorry for your loss. davidthegnome Feb 2013 #97

Thank you, davidthegnome. I hope you know that I am not saying that some people Th1onein Feb 2013 #113

Don't agree about the suicide, but do agree about selling the pills treestar Feb 2013 #44

I agree. The "traditional mourning period" reflects reality. pnwmom Feb 2013 #65

Exactly, grief is not depression and needs no medication treestar Feb 2013 #90

Grief can indeed trigger a major depression . . . markpkessinger Feb 2013 #103

Yes, it can. davidthegnome Feb 2013 #110

Yes there is a difference treestar Feb 2013 #145

Yes it can. I think what people were objecting to was the idea that grief lasting more pnwmom Feb 2013 #121

No--you AREN'T supposed to be over it. That's what this designation says--some people cannot msanthrope Feb 2013 #139

It's all about the shareholder value... Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #52

I think that's a facile way of regarding this--family leave, therapy, therapeutic assistance, msanthrope Feb 2013 #138

and that means... green for victory Feb 2013 #2

Children, adolescents and young adults TexasBushwhacker Feb 2013 #50

This is not helpful, many people take anti-depressants safely adigal Feb 2013 #98

agreed about the overall safety of antidepressants nt steve2470 Feb 2013 #131

That should be "Two weeks or as soon as a TV reporter sticks a mic in your face." WinkyDink Feb 2013 #3

Two points: Jackpine Radical Feb 2013 #4

This Flying Dream Blues Feb 2013 #11

+1 pinboy3niner Feb 2013 #18

I entirely agree. sibelian Feb 2013 #20

You said it siligut Feb 2013 #115

I agree steve2470 Feb 2013 #118

+1 sibelian Feb 2013 #135

Point #2 is the Winnah!!!! You don't get medical leave, therapy, disability, without a diagnosis or msanthrope Feb 2013 #142

Oh, come on. OceanEcosystem Feb 2013 #5

2 weeks? Samjm Feb 2013 #6

A year is what I had learned it takes just to get over the shock R B Garr Feb 2013 #21

This is what I learned! OldEurope Feb 2013 #41

There is no set time period... markpkessinger Feb 2013 #109

My question is: Where did they pull this length of time from, besides their arses? WinkyDink Feb 2013 #75

Well, if they picked "one week" or "five business days" elehhhhna Feb 2013 #111

Big pharma has drugs to sell malaise Feb 2013 #8

+1000 n/t OhioChick Feb 2013 #27

Well, there it is. sibelian Feb 2013 #9

They would lock me in an institution, then. VenusRising Feb 2013 #10

I totally understand. Flying Dream Blues Feb 2013 #14

I'm sorry about your son. VenusRising Feb 2013 #17

It does take time... pipi_k Feb 2013 #93

So very sorry for your loses... vankuria Feb 2013 #134

Been 8 years since we lost mom The Straight Story Feb 2013 #15

I've had those dreams where it felt like he was right in front of me. VenusRising Feb 2013 #19

... CrispyQ Feb 2013 #119

I don't know the absolute of when is too much time to grieve. Kalidurga Feb 2013 #12

Shallowness: the new normal undeterred Feb 2013 #13

When did sadness itself become an ILLNESS? sibelian Feb 2013 #16

Since we became a Brave New World. Sometime after 1984, coincidentally... reformist2 Feb 2013 #25

It's so HIDEOUS. sibelian Feb 2013 #29

I find BNW much more disturbing than 1984, because people do it to themselves. reformist2 Feb 2013 #35

I agree wholeheartedly. sibelian Feb 2013 #46

about the same time schools banned dodge ball snooper2 Feb 2013 #120

:) sibelian Feb 2013 #128

Grief is a social process undeterred Feb 2013 #22

Have to agree with you The Straight Story Feb 2013 #31

Grief is work. undeterred Feb 2013 #37

They must be right wingers. Only right wingers have no feelings and Cleita Feb 2013 #23

Or psychopaths Demeter Feb 2013 #79

Sounds like it's designed to match a typical employee's vacation time. Hmm... reformist2 Feb 2013 #24

It's been almost Nite Owl Feb 2013 #26

Just to be a devil's advocate here for a moment... cbayer Feb 2013 #28

What's "normal grieving", cbayer? sibelian Feb 2013 #32

Normal grieving is variable, but shares many "symptoms" with major depression. cbayer Feb 2013 #48

Why have you put inverted commas around symptoms? sibelian Feb 2013 #54

Because symptoms are associated with illness, but these same things may cbayer Feb 2013 #59

So - a safety net for people *actually* suffering from major depressive disorder...? sibelian Feb 2013 #123

Perhaps you misread. This doesn't set an arbitrary time limit for grief at all. cbayer Feb 2013 #136

Well, I guess I've been mentally ill three times in my lifetime following the passing of.... OldDem2012 Feb 2013 #30

I want rid of the term "grieving process". sibelian Feb 2013 #33

The language is designed to make us think of ourselves as little automatons. reformist2 Feb 2013 #38

oh great, so when do the new 'private for profit' mental hospitals start grabbing federal money? Sunlei Feb 2013 #36

I must have been mentally ill for years after my son died. You don't get over something appleannie1 Feb 2013 #39

I am sure the familes of Sandy Hook, HockeyMom Feb 2013 #40

I agree fully and losing a child changes a person. I think if anyone is mentally ill appleannie1 Feb 2013 #87

I think about that poor woman on Staten Island, whose two babies adigal Feb 2013 #99

My best friend died in 2004 LadyHawkAZ Feb 2013 #104

That gives new meaning to the phrase, "Physician heal thyself." Tierra_y_Libertad Feb 2013 #42

I HATE this about our culture - this is absolutely souless Matariki Feb 2013 #43

What could po$$ibly have brought thi$ $illine$$ on? LadyHawkAZ Feb 2013 #45

hilariou$ green for victory Feb 2013 #56

ye$$$$$$$$$$$$$ my preciou$$$$$$$$$$ HiPointDem Feb 2013 #82

Amazing... Ron Obvious Feb 2013 #47

That is NIGHTMARISH. sibelian Feb 2013 #53

AND CONSULTS A GP TexasBushwhacker Feb 2013 #49

No, they just read the headline Union Scribe Feb 2013 #66

Slightly disengenuous as the ARTICLE ITSELF contains the "woo woo" observation sibelian Feb 2013 #67

No, disingenuous is using a move to give doctors Union Scribe Feb 2013 #70

What on earth are you talking about sibelian Feb 2013 #71

Do try to keep up Union Scribe Feb 2013 #72

No, please explain yourself. sibelian Feb 2013 #73

What is so difficult for you to grasp? Union Scribe Feb 2013 #76

You might have to chip it down to monosyllables. Posteritatis Feb 2013 #81

You might have to read the article... sibelian Feb 2013 #86

Thank you. sibelian Feb 2013 #85

You are assuming... davidthegnome Feb 2013 #114

I consulted my GP when I was grieving LadyHawkAZ Feb 2013 #105

Good "grief," pardon the pun. Some things are just part of living, not something to be "cured." MADem Feb 2013 #51

Wow. Really? Apophis Feb 2013 #55

My guess is that private insurance companies require a diagnosis gollygee Feb 2013 #57

For some , grief NEVER ends.. SoCalDem Feb 2013 #58

EXACTLY. nt Raine Feb 2013 #89

Mental "illness" AceWheeler Feb 2013 #60

I guess I am mentally ill Tree-Hugger Feb 2013 #61

What if it last eleven years? Arctic Dave Feb 2013 #62

This is ridiculously simplistic. winter is coming Feb 2013 #63

No need to hyper react to this..... murray hill farm Feb 2013 #68

Yep, on top of the various non-pharmaceutical forms of assistance as well Posteritatis Feb 2013 #77

Quite right. Union Scribe Feb 2013 #78

Yeah, that attitude's kept several of my friends from being treated for things Posteritatis Feb 2013 #80

Yep, a stigma that lives on Union Scribe Feb 2013 #83

Precisely--perhaps a 'grief-based' diagnosis will allow some people who don't want to be labeled msanthrope Feb 2013 #137

that's my idea in this post steve2470 Feb 2013 #144

That way they get to prescribe medication longer, or start earlier? nt Honeycombe8 Feb 2013 #69

I wonder if there'd be a benefit to thinking of that as an 'injury' rather than an 'illness' Posteritatis Feb 2013 #74

Traditional mourning is one year. Turbineguy Feb 2013 #84

Just a way to get more people on more drugs and more money for big pharma. nt Raine Feb 2013 #88

There is a (not great) reason for this... politicat Feb 2013 #91

And some insurance require a referral to see a specialist TexasBushwhacker Feb 2013 #96

Thank you, very clear headed response. sibelian Feb 2013 #124

you are, of course correct steve2470 Feb 2013 #132

Exactly! politicat Feb 2013 #146

ridiculous limpyhobbler Feb 2013 #92

And how many gun-control advocates would insist on that criteria in the US? derby378 Feb 2013 #94

Stop crying and get back to work!!1! ck4829 Feb 2013 #100

Soylent Green here we come! nt patrice Feb 2013 #101

OMG! The APA is fighting mental health-care insurance-coverage parity. patrice Feb 2013 #102

Every day I read stories that I am certain are from The Onion. CrispyQ Feb 2013 #106

Post 45 both asks and answers "What the F happened to common $en$e?" green for victory Feb 2013 #116

This message was self-deleted by its author Sadiedog Feb 2013 #107

Please be careful before declaring what grief "is" or "is not" markpkessinger Feb 2013 #108

So employers will have a fit -- because this means elehhhhna Feb 2013 #112

Yes--it is an EXPANSION of benefits. Funny the woo crowd on this thread. nt msanthrope Feb 2013 #140

I'm all for people getting treatment/relief but... steve2470 Feb 2013 #117

Jesus Christ on a trailer hitch! tavalon Feb 2013 #122

K&R all the way. NT Jasana Feb 2013 #127

This is just part of our coldhearted culture that wants tblue37 Feb 2013 #130

But since every one is unique.... I suppose this new theory won't last to long... midnight Feb 2013 #133

I can see the cries from the NRA "They're out to label you mentally unstable and get your guns" eom tarheelsunc Feb 2013 #141

They just want to sell drugs. felix_numinous Feb 2013 #143

Dope the public into submission. glinda Feb 2013 #147

I think these psychologists need to see a psychologist...nt fadedrose Feb 2013 #148

2 weeks? That's short. Quantess Feb 2013 #149