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etherealtruth

(22,165 posts)

110. The truth

Sun Feb 24, 2013, 12:58 PM

Feb 2013

At 51 I am far too busy (not necessarily a good thing) to contemplate what might have been ... I still have one child at home, one in college and one married.

I have been a single mother for the last 11 years and have have an elderly mother that requires a lot of my time and attention. My youngest child was diagnosed with a progressive/ degenerative eye disease five years ago. Over the last last decade it become increasingly apparent that my best friend (for the last 45 years) had become increasingly mentally unstable (she took he own life August 28/ the day before her 50th birthday). Unfortunately, I could go on.

I don't mention the above because I feel sorry for myself or my life ... I mention it because I need to stay so focused on the present that I don't have a lot of time to contemplate "what might have been" ... "What is" occupies most of my time and energy.

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wall of midlife crisis. when did you hit it and how did you make it thru. edited... [View all] seabeyond Feb 2013 OP

I'm only 38 but I think I'm kind of in mine titaniumsalute Feb 2013 #1

good question. I am not there yet but like all crisis i am sure i will handle it okay loli phabay Feb 2013 #2

wink... seabeyond Feb 2013 #14

lol i live to obey loli phabay Feb 2013 #18

First of all be thankful. cbrer Feb 2013 #3

rofl do people really buy a sports car loli phabay Feb 2013 #4

Hard to say. I'm having my third MLC... cbrer Feb 2013 #8

i get the going fast thing but i regularly burn up the highway going that fast. even had to slow dow loli phabay Feb 2013 #12

I've lost too many friends on the street. cbrer Feb 2013 #16

i like going fast, too. the only real risk taking i do in life. seabeyond Feb 2013 #19

the charger always feels like the tail wants to slide ine the corners once you hit 120 loli phabay Feb 2013 #23

h ahahah. ya, i have done a 360 in the middle of the hiway avoiding a squirrel. lol seabeyond Feb 2013 #25

lol avoiding a squirrel. i always hit skunks and i never even see them until its to late loli phabay Feb 2013 #27

lol. your third??? NOOooooo. lol. nt seabeyond Feb 2013 #17

I think they really do, those that can afford it that is. I think I know why too. ChisolmTrailDem Feb 2013 #66

I am 47 ellie Feb 2013 #5

I'm 47 too. Bonobo Feb 2013 #6

Although you did make one huge midlife change by Lydia Leftcoast Feb 2013 #62

It was. Thanks. Bonobo Feb 2013 #67

I am using the power of denial, backed by spending money on things I don't need el_bryanto Feb 2013 #7

This. Also, talking louder is working for me. Robb Feb 2013 #10

ah bryant, i love "power of denial" though i never use that and believe in exactly the opposite. seabeyond Feb 2013 #21

i will say one thing ive never seen a sad ostrich so it might work. loli phabay Feb 2013 #24

Didn't experience it as a wall Brainstormy Feb 2013 #9

It's a wall? MindPilot Feb 2013 #11

a long dark hallway that keeps getting longer. seabeyond Feb 2013 #22

no crisis bigtree Feb 2013 #13

single and childless pretty much all my adult life, no crisis here... KG Feb 2013 #15

Crises? ismnotwasm Feb 2013 #20

Burned down my emotional house Protalker Feb 2013 #26

i really like that. "a new sounder more authentic self " seabeyond Feb 2013 #28

oh oh i am going to annoy you here. i think thats to broad a statement yes many do loli phabay Feb 2013 #30

this is true. and you will never convince me men do not have or feel. seabeyond Feb 2013 #31

i agree a bit. guys just express them differently some in a non traditional way loli phabay Feb 2013 #34

thanks loli. good post. nt seabeyond Feb 2013 #39

same way I got through most problems. hobbit709 Feb 2013 #29

ha hahahaha. lol. seabeyond Feb 2013 #33

my personal take on the "midlife crisis" (I will be 50 this year) Javaman Feb 2013 #32

I never followed the path of how society believes I should act or live my life. seabeyond Feb 2013 #38

i am pretty sure im well outside of normal and i liked the post as well loli phabay Feb 2013 #45

+1 Sissyk Feb 2013 #54

What midlife crisis? MadHound Feb 2013 #35

This message was self-deleted by its author Helen Reddy Feb 2013 #36

I'm 37 and I've already dealt with dreams not coming true liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #37

good post. old wives wisdom is that to be content is to be happy loli phabay Feb 2013 #41

I would be happy with the life I have led. love and peace are far more important to me now seabeyond Feb 2013 #42

Similar issues here... PasadenaTrudy Feb 2013 #56

I can beat that. Le Taz Hot Feb 2013 #105

Exactly! PasadenaTrudy Feb 2013 #106

Another DUer posted this link Le Taz Hot Feb 2013 #107

Don't think I've had it yet newfie11 Feb 2013 #40

lol... its a comin' i am tellin' ya. seabeyond Feb 2013 #43

Oh bummer newfie11 Feb 2013 #83

43 abelenkpe Feb 2013 #44

Mine happened at age 45. MineralMan Feb 2013 #46

wow. You dealt with that very well. liberal_at_heart Feb 2013 #47

I learned from my father. MineralMan Feb 2013 #50

wow. you stopped me in my tracks this morning pnwest Feb 2013 #48

Just stop. Stop thinking, fighting, controlling...and just start listening. seabeyond Feb 2013 #49

:) pnwest Feb 2013 #51

My husband and I both have been through Sissyk Feb 2013 #52

thank you seabeyond Feb 2013 #58

Go into a small manageable business that you own and run KurtNYC Feb 2013 #53

49 PasadenaTrudy Feb 2013 #55

I think I must have missed mine .... oldhippie Feb 2013 #57

Mine seemed to kick in early samplegirl Feb 2013 #59

Mine came earlier. I was in my early 40s and Lydia Leftcoast Feb 2013 #60

I'm female but worried more about the money aspect treestar Feb 2013 #61

The Mr. (at 55 years old) bought a pair of white snake~skin cowboy boots.. Tikki Feb 2013 #63

lol! Sissyk Feb 2013 #64

Now at 65 years old...they match his hair... Tikki Feb 2013 #65

I don't think my husband or I have gone through one yet... maybe never? riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #68

I decided that I don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks about me slackmaster Feb 2013 #69

I am in the middle of mine WCIL Feb 2013 #70

Built a house in South America. Puglover Feb 2013 #71

A well defined Midlife Crisis marions ghost Feb 2013 #72

very VERY good post marions.... seabeyond Feb 2013 #73

thanks seabeyond marions ghost Feb 2013 #75

Had one at age 40 and in one now steve2470 Feb 2013 #74

I learned this. When life sucks you have to not give up. upaloopa Feb 2013 #76

The law of attraction: "like attracts like" seabeyond Feb 2013 #78

I got two unexpected checks the last two weeks. Not big ones upaloopa Feb 2013 #79

Message auto-removed year of the cat Feb 2013 #82

I went back donco Feb 2013 #77

I turn 50 tomorrow and feel like it is right in my face. Father in law died last week at 92 and.... yourout Feb 2013 #80

Fifty hit me hard.I think it's sufrommich Feb 2013 #86

for me it's a combination of physical changes and realizing I probably have more years behind me.... yourout Feb 2013 #94

happy 50 and.... seabeyond Feb 2013 #88

best wishes for you, hopefully better right after 50 ! nt steve2470 Feb 2013 #90

when i started having to wear glasses shanti Feb 2013 #81

Hit mine at 42 OutNow Feb 2013 #84

that sounds lovely. nt seabeyond Feb 2013 #93

44. lasted a few years. MadrasT Feb 2013 #85

Like Kris Kristopherson wrote Protalker Feb 2013 #87

Well, let's see Trailrider1951 Feb 2013 #89

what a wonderfully FUN post. seabeyond Feb 2013 #91

I was in midlife so long ago, I can't remember. Blue_In_AK Feb 2013 #92

kick nt steve2470 Feb 2013 #95

I had mine at 32. Not kidding. Evoman Feb 2013 #96

i love you. seabeyond Feb 2013 #98

Aw, I love you to. Evoman Feb 2013 #100

I am going through mine now. I don't know how to get through it. smirkymonkey Feb 2013 #97

scary. seabeyond Feb 2013 #99

Thanks! I also have a ridiculous amount of student loan debt hanging over my smirkymonkey Feb 2013 #104

Denial and then a resolution to re-claim my life. no_hypocrisy Feb 2013 #101

"Getting old ain't for sissies." Bette Davis Tierra_y_Libertad Feb 2013 #102

1 over the double-nickle here,, benld74 Feb 2013 #103

I was 55 and it was April 10, 2007 at 7:34pm exactly SmileyRose Feb 2013 #108

It's not a wall, cher, it's a passageway. nolabear Feb 2013 #109

The truth etherealtruth Feb 2013 #110

I'm not a man, so maybe you can't relate OnionPatch Feb 2013 #111