What fun! I got hassled tonight collecting Recall Walker signatures! [View all]

[Scuba]

My grandmother taught me it wasn't nice to pick on those less fortunate than yourself, but tonight I couldn't help myself.



I was parked in the Public Library parking lot, picking up the occasional signature and rendezvousing with members of my team of volunteers who had signatures to turn in (another 47 tonight - woo hoo!).

The Library is a great spot, 'cause their wireless internet service is unsecured and leaks enough to provide coverage out in the lot. I can keep up on DU between taking signatures.

Anyway, a couple hours ago a truck pulled up next to me. I grabbed my clipboard and jumped out.

"I'm not signing", growled the guy behind the wheel. "Do you have a permit to be here?"

We're not supposed to waste time on these morons, but I had nothing else to do at the moment, so I indulged myself.

"Yes I do", I replied, and gave him a big smile.

"You do?", he asked.

"Yep", still smiling.

He seemed confused for a moment, then asked "Well, where did you get it?"

"From James Madison and some friends of his", I replied. He looked perplexed. I waited a few beats and then helped him out. "The Constitution of the United States, First Amendment".

"Well, well, you can't be on private property" he sputtered.

"I'm not", I replied, "this is the Public Library lot."

"Yes, but it's also private" he said. "It belongs to the Village, and I'm a taxpayer."

At that point I probably looked confused. Then it hit me. "Do you know the difference between public and private property?" I asked.

"It's private public property, owned by the village", he said. "Anyway, that's no good here", he said, "we have local ordinances."

"And you think local ordinances trump the Constitution?" I asked.

I could see he was getting more frustrated by the minute. "I'm going to call the police", he shouted.

"Good idea", I replied, "they love crank calls."

"Well, I'm calling them", he was now spitting as the words came out.

"That's fine. Just wait a second while I take a photo of your license plate, will you please?" I walked around to the back of his truck.

At that point his engine roared to life and his tires screamed as he left the lot. Guy was abusing his truck - and wasting gas - because of his anger and stupidity. More work for Union mechanics and tire manufacturing workers I guess.

Cops never showed, but since I talked to the Sheriff weeks ago and he knows my schedule there at the Library (sometimes his wife drops off signatures she's collected) I only missed out on a few more laughs.


These Walker-backers are mostly dumber than a box of rocks. "Private public property." Priceless.