General Discussion

hfojvt

(37,573 posts)

169. of course, I do not know his experiences

Wed Feb 27, 2013, 12:36 PM

Feb 2013

His past experiences however, may contribute to him being over-sensitive and to assume that others are afraid of him or hostile to him when many of his past experiences might have been as false as the one I experienced with him. How many times has he assumed hostility existed?

Another alternative is that some of hostility he experienced could just be fairly ordinary xenophobia - fear or hatred of strangers, rather than racism. A white person could help them understand that, yes, white people also experience similar things. "People are strange, when you're a stranger."

Further, there probably was "something wrong" in what I did. As an aspie, I do no behave like a "normal" person does, because I do not know how to. So, this guy would not be the first to find my behaviour to be odd (although I sorta think talking out loud about other people is kinda odd too), but the oddness is not a result of my racism, but of my Asperger's. At least I felt no malice, not even xenophobia. Heck, why should I be suspicious of a guy whose car is worth about as much as my house?

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If you are the member of a privileged group AND call yourself progressive [View all] Matariki Feb 2013 OP

Big K&R LiberalLoner Feb 2013 #1

Can I take exception to the word 'privileged'? sadbear Feb 2013 #2

Agreed Lordquinton Feb 2013 #9

I think we know what the OP meant Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #12

Not being able to argue better than everyone else is not the same as being wrong. merrily Feb 2013 #54

Such a simple concept duhneece Feb 2013 #125

Well, the OP claimed no "status as victim" intaglio Feb 2013 #105

In other words... Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #133

Did you write this word salad? intaglio Feb 2013 #177

I can't help you... Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #190

You do not even write at an fifth grade level intaglio Feb 2013 #200

BAM. Well done. bettyellen Feb 2013 #222

About your points about grammar: you're wrong muriel_volestrangler Feb 2013 #234

Technically correct, it's just that the subject, the "I", is indeterminate intaglio Feb 2013 #254

it's completely clear and in fact you understood it: HiPointDem Feb 2013 #261

I actually disagree strongly with Jeff's position muriel_volestrangler Feb 2013 #266

In discussions downthread, I think the OP and I are probably pretty close in our opinion Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #270

You know how to tell when you're losing an argument? Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #248

The subject is still undefined intaglio Feb 2013 #255

Listen up, class Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #267

wtf? massive fail on the writing analysis. the poster writes just fine, and the sentence has HiPointDem Feb 2013 #259

As observed in my response to Muriel intaglio Feb 2013 #260

It's completely clear that the poster was paraphrasing your argument (sarcastically), and that HiPointDem Feb 2013 #263

Post removed Post removed Feb 2013 #221

Suggestion: Keep trying. LanternWaste Feb 2013 #276

Lack of privilege confers privilege. Please get with the program. snagglepuss Feb 2013 #195

So asking for some objectivity Tsiyu Feb 2013 #206

Can you give an example of what you are talking about because I have no idea from Maraya1969 Feb 2013 #126

You know perfectly well what was meant... Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #130

I actually was thinking you had another idea besides hating on the poor or the transgendered Maraya1969 Feb 2013 #131

Nailed. First try. Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #136

You obviously did not read the article. That makes sense. But don't try to blame your Maraya1969 Feb 2013 #150

I actually obviously DID read the article... Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #163

Context or perspective is really hte issue, not whether or not one's position iemitsu Feb 2013 #145

this mac56 Feb 2013 #156

I understood the OP in the struggle context, as well. ancianita Feb 2013 #189

I meant it exactly in that relative sense. Matariki Feb 2013 #13

I think everyone should listen.... MellowDem Feb 2013 #14

Actual discussions about sexism or racism in our culture Matariki Feb 2013 #16

I agree those are never prefereable... MellowDem Feb 2013 #19

Good post... one_voice Feb 2013 #48

I would say that actual discussions about sexism and racism hfojvt Feb 2013 #64

Straight people should not lecture GLBTQ people on being overly geek tragedy Feb 2013 #66

why not? hfojvt Feb 2013 #83

... Number23 Feb 2013 #108

This message was self-deleted by its author seaglass Feb 2013 #120

Love. Starry Messenger Feb 2013 #238

No, "incorrect" does not = "overly senstitive." bread_and_roses Feb 2013 #123

So did you lecture him about the error of his ways? If not, you are proving the point. Squinch Feb 2013 #134

See, that should have been a learning lesson for you. NCTraveler Feb 2013 #139

to learn what? hfojvt Feb 2013 #171

But, you don't know what life experience he has. geek tragedy Feb 2013 #154

of course, I do not know his experiences hfojvt Feb 2013 #169

Just because a perception is incorrect doesn't make it irrational though. geek tragedy Feb 2013 #174

not sure why rationality needs to come into it hfojvt Feb 2013 #201

But, to use the example you cited, he's not imagining anything. geek tragedy Feb 2013 #202

yes, let's compare being black with being iron deficient! bettyellen Feb 2013 #224

Talking over people can happen in conversation, but not on a message board. merrily Feb 2013 #53

Here's my frustration... Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #146

If it had been just one person, I might agree with you gollygee Feb 2013 #147

My point is this... Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #172

Well, attempting to be satirical doesn't give him a free pass gollygee Feb 2013 #181

Again, my point... Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #186

OK. Again, my point . . . gollygee Feb 2013 #204

OK... Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #249

it was such a poor attempt at satire it was indisinguishable from frat boy "humor" bettyellen Feb 2013 #225

Imho, Ted is a stupid movie. That is all. n/t Fla Dem Feb 2013 #149

It might well be... Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #164

No, that's ok. Everyone has their unique taste in movies. I saw "ted" in the theater because... Fla Dem Feb 2013 #175

Now, you see... Jeff In Milwaukee Feb 2013 #188

Best post I've read in weeks rjj621 Feb 2013 #161

I'm not sure what privilege has to do with it Major Nikon Feb 2013 #253

" It's a way to exclude someone who you think has it better than you" Better? Absolutely not. merrily Feb 2013 #52

??? I think you misunderstood or misrepresented dreamnightwind Feb 2013 #87

I read his post too quickly. Wish you had left it at "misunderstood" though. merrily Feb 2013 #90

It looked like an unlikely mistake, that's all dreamnightwind Feb 2013 #119

Message auto-removed matwilson Feb 2013 #3

thank you! cally Feb 2013 #4

thank you. Matariki Feb 2013 #7

You seem to have something Jenoch Feb 2013 #57

I'm not baffled by it at all. sibelian Feb 2013 #100

Or maybe your situation is different, tavalon Feb 2013 #137

It's called "Argument from Authority" Lordquinton Feb 2013 #187

That's exactly how I see it. sibelian Feb 2013 #262

Yeah, that! tavalon Feb 2013 #132

I note that you did not say this, but I am curious: Common Sense Party Feb 2013 #205

You make so much sense. smirkymonkey Feb 2013 #278

"It is what I say it is" Confusious Feb 2013 #5

Perfectly stated. cate94 Feb 2013 #6

Amen! Texasgal Feb 2013 #8

K&R Starry Messenger Feb 2013 #10

K&R Squinch Feb 2013 #11

And remember texshelters Feb 2013 #15

Excellent post. dawg Feb 2013 #17

Describe 'privileged' cliffordu Feb 2013 #18

I'll pretend your question isn't disingenuous and answer it. Matariki Feb 2013 #20

You mean like the privilege that demands cliffordu Feb 2013 #26

It's not your job though. galileoreloaded Feb 2013 #32

Nice. cliffordu Feb 2013 #40

yes, please... stop all this white knighting bullshit for everyone's sake bettyellen Feb 2013 #71

Has there ever been a law on the books that anyone put themselves in harm's way? Jamastiene Feb 2013 #86

why pretend to be noble and seethe in resentment and claim special privileges for it? bettyellen Feb 2013 #92

because clearly culture is all codified in laws and something must be 'one's job' or it needn't be HiPointDem Feb 2013 #265

I'm sorry, I have no idea what you are talking about. Matariki Feb 2013 #37

Well played... cliffordu Feb 2013 #39

Oh, so you think being a man makes you the oppressed one? nt geek tragedy Feb 2013 #61

Again, parsing what's actually written cliffordu Feb 2013 #74

is this stolen from Batman, LOL? hoping you forgot the sarcasm smiley.... bettyellen Feb 2013 #69

Nope. cliffordu Feb 2013 #75

well someone sold you a bill of goods, you don't have a heavier burden than anyone on earth bettyellen Feb 2013 #77

Your post is enlightening and a fine instruction. cliffordu Feb 2013 #78

free your mind, and your ass will follow! bettyellen Feb 2013 #80

Dunno what you're talking about. cliffordu Feb 2013 #81

\you make *your choices* sound like a huge burden- yet say you are comfortable bettyellen Feb 2013 #88

Yep you are exactly right. cliffordu Feb 2013 #91

Good- you needed that! bettyellen Feb 2013 #93

Consider me sufficiently enlightened. cliffordu Feb 2013 #94

better enlightened than a white knight with a martyr complex. bettyellen Feb 2013 #99

That would be me. cliffordu Feb 2013 #102

Since when? Jamastiene Feb 2013 #85

The cops can take an hour to show up. cliffordu Feb 2013 #89

Then, don't resent it. Jamastiene Feb 2013 #97

I don't resent any of it, cliffordu Feb 2013 #101

you seem to be blissfully unaware that just as many women and minorities bettyellen Feb 2013 #227

Your post enlightens and instructs. cliffordu Feb 2013 #228

Well what a load of self justifying and content light verbiage intaglio Feb 2013 #111

Golly gosh. cliffordu Feb 2013 #143

Who said it was roses and beer? intaglio Feb 2013 #173

So do I know as much as you do about the guilt feelings the patriarchy instills in men, or Squinch Feb 2013 #140

Neither. cliffordu Feb 2013 #144

But you know that my post is just really restating the OP, right? Squinch Feb 2013 #159

I am Jewish. Cary Feb 2013 #153

This message was self-deleted by its author cliffordu Feb 2013 #155

Even when privilege is pointed out there are those here who ignore or dismiss it Major Nikon Feb 2013 #256

someone who doesn't have to believe in a god in order to get through the daily routine of life? snooper2 Feb 2013 #36

Thinking you might be right. cliffordu Feb 2013 #41

A privilege is ANYTHING that is taken by means of ANY advantage & not through any consensual patrice Feb 2013 #113

I'm not ignoring you - I will respond to your post later as my day is turning out to be hectic. cliffordu Feb 2013 #152

I don't even like the term progressive Mnpaul Feb 2013 #21

Error #1 ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2013 #22

It's like fish thinking there's something wrong with other creatures drowning in water Matariki Feb 2013 #24

I have used that exact analogy ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2013 #25

It's woven into our very language Matariki Feb 2013 #30

Just a minor nitpick. And it really is a nitpick. white_wolf Feb 2013 #50

It is confusing to me on the dark=evil thing especially. Jamastiene Feb 2013 #95

I love the night too. I like it alot better than day actually. white_wolf Feb 2013 #96

But the ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2013 #178

Good point. white_wolf Feb 2013 #277

How refreshing ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2013 #279

Being more privileged than someone else is not the same as being unable to listen or emphathize. merrily Feb 2013 #55

Nailed. It. Number23 Feb 2013 #82

But...but...but....we have a black president now Cali_Democrat Feb 2013 #106

I know, right??! Number23 Feb 2013 #107

I call that The Beyonce Defense gollygee Feb 2013 #118

That's not the issue quite a few people have with the post... MellowDem Feb 2013 #170

I agree, though there may be a limit somewhere treestar Feb 2013 #23

Matariki, they get it. They really do... Jasana Feb 2013 #27

K&R ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #28

Look at these priviliged tykes Demo_Chris Feb 2013 #29

It is possible to be part of a privileged group while being part of a non-privileged group. ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #31

Thank you. Matariki Feb 2013 #35

No problem. ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #43

thank you for your excellent post hopemountain Feb 2013 #44

I missed nothing, nor do I desire to erase anything Demo_Chris Feb 2013 #47

So, rich black people don't get pulled over for DWB? geek tragedy Feb 2013 #68

You are over-simplifying the matter. ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #103

You just lumped all white people, all straight people, and all men together Confusious Feb 2013 #183

What? ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #214

So the white male hetrosexual bum Confusious Feb 2013 #216

No. I don't think so. ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #229

Well, you see herein lies the problem Confusious Feb 2013 #233

Colorblind racism gollygee Feb 2013 #243

Hmm...I see what you are getting at. ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #244

Sure it is Confusious Feb 2013 #79

It's still called "don't be an ass hole." ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #115

You hit all the social justice warrior buzzwords Confusious Feb 2013 #207

Social justice warrior buzzwords? ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #226

No, I'm not calling you a hypocrite Confusious Feb 2013 #239

Okay, good. I was just a little uncertain because most of the Tumblr meme focused on hypocrisy. ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #245

Nice post. But it's important to remember, that even those poor white kids Number23 Feb 2013 #104

I wasn't sure when those pictures were taken, so I was mostly speaking in a more modern context. ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #112

No, I don't think your post negated anything. Number23 Feb 2013 #192

Your 2 cents are appreciated. ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #231

It's my pleasure. I appreciate your efforts to educate. And judging by the poster you are Number23 Feb 2013 #235

I always take my vitamins! ChaoticTrilby Feb 2013 #246

African Americans have been graduating from Yale since the 1840's Confusious Feb 2013 #176

Oh my God. No, really? gollygee Feb 2013 #184

Good gravy. Number23 Feb 2013 #191

Moving the goalposts Confusious Feb 2013 #194

Segregation and racial discrimination would have precluded the vast majority of blacks from attendin Number23 Feb 2013 #198

Still moving the goalposts Confusious Feb 2013 #199

No, "most of the north" had not integrated by the 30s gollygee Feb 2013 #203

That one has his head buried in the sand and a bulldozer couldn't get it out Number23 Feb 2013 #212

Five edits for that foolishness? Number23 Feb 2013 #213

Wow, you are the model social justice warrior Confusious Feb 2013 #217

The fact that you are working so hard to condemn people who are concerned about social justice Number23 Feb 2013 #218

Par for the course Confusious Feb 2013 #230

OK. Why nobody can see it. gollygee Feb 2013 #241

Jury results: JackBeck Feb 2013 #219

Thanks, Jack. I tried, you know. I edited, but the sentiment most certainly remains Number23 Feb 2013 #220

Why do some people act like pointing out societal priviledge is just a ploy to make them feel guilty Matariki Feb 2013 #33

You weren't pointing out societal privilege... MellowDem Feb 2013 #167

Point well taken customerserviceguy Feb 2013 #34

I dare you to post this in meta and see the response you get. LOL boston bean Feb 2013 #38

+1 redqueen Feb 2013 #45

Or TMG. Nt geek tragedy Feb 2013 #70

Well stated. October Feb 2013 #42

r-e-s-p-e-c-t hopemountain Feb 2013 #46

Yes! I tried to sketch the rational basis for why respect is absolutely essential to this patrice Feb 2013 #114

Some would regard me as under privileged for being DeadEyeDyck Feb 2013 #49

Matariki, I want to thank you NeeDeep Feb 2013 #51

I would have expected that OP to be uncontroversial among Democrats. Silly me. merrily Feb 2013 #56

Part of privilege means being able to pretend privilege doesn't exist. nt geek tragedy Feb 2013 #58

I would think that's part of being an asshole, not part of being a privileged Democrat. merrily Feb 2013 #59

The ability is different than the propensity. geek tragedy Feb 2013 #60

Yes, but I would expect that of most Democratic males. merrily Feb 2013 #62

People like to think of themselves as the underdog. nt geek tragedy Feb 2013 #63

But, also as winners and also as reality based, rather than delusional merrily Feb 2013 #65

Well, yeah, they're a winner for what they've done, not the advantages they have! Nt geek tragedy Feb 2013 #67

I would have thought that my post 56 was not terribly controversial, either. merrily Feb 2013 #76

Welcome to DU Number23 Feb 2013 #215

I Reject the Framing AndyTiedye Feb 2013 #72

A pretty silly and somewhat obnoxious post. MrModerate Feb 2013 #73

Agreed but also I find the OP to be rather odd. Cary Feb 2013 #138

My favorite quote ismnotwasm Feb 2013 #84

I tried to break down some of the problems in recognizing this in my post #113 above. patrice Feb 2013 #117

I see that ismnotwasm Feb 2013 #135

There is so much that is about process, how to_____ ,everything else can be affected by that. nt patrice Feb 2013 #157

It is also important for the "disinfranchised" AND progressive to remember... Behind the Aegis Feb 2013 #98

That is very important. boston bean Feb 2013 #141

"If more people would focus on the issue versus those pointing it out, we might get somewhere." redqueen Feb 2013 #165

+1 leftstreet Feb 2013 #180

trust the person making the claim sigmasix Feb 2013 #109

From my experience with this subject TM99 Feb 2013 #110

Your response to the OP FlaGranny Feb 2013 #121

As I said, TM99 Feb 2013 #162

There's a saying ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2013 #182

Oh I DO like that. MuseRider Feb 2013 #237

As is the norm ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2013 #185

That is a very good phrasing of the problem! KitSileya Feb 2013 #208

I, initially, had added ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2013 #210

I note that 90 people have Rec'd this, not 6 gollygee Feb 2013 #116

I have a good illustration.... Burma Jones Feb 2013 #122

Progressive is a DLC term formercia Feb 2013 #124

The reason I say 'progressive' DaveJ Feb 2013 #129

but do "progressives" exist? Puzzledtraveller Feb 2013 #160

liberal assumes a commitment BainsBane Feb 2013 #196

This thread has earned the Ron Obvious Award. nt valerief Feb 2013 #127

And precisely who... 99Forever Feb 2013 #128

I cannot see one instance in the OP where who is privileged and who is not is pointed out. KitSileya Feb 2013 #209

The implication is quite clear. 99Forever Feb 2013 #211

Isn't it only privileged people who call themselves "progressive"? harmonicon Feb 2013 #142

I posted in Meta about something similar Aerows Feb 2013 #148

the concept of "offending" or "offensive" have been dumbed down alc Feb 2013 #151

Yes. But it cuts both ways. Don't put up a wall and call it a door. nolabear Feb 2013 #158

Being a white male has made life so goddamn easy for me, I tell you. Comrade_McKenzie Feb 2013 #166

A good 50 or 60% of the developing world wickerwoman Feb 2013 #223

The problem with the privilege meme is that, like your post, snagglepuss Feb 2013 #232

In the context of this discussion, wickerwoman Feb 2013 #247

yes, and their lives are no doubt harder than yours as well. now what? with that revelation HiPointDem Feb 2013 #264

See the OP. wickerwoman Feb 2013 #268

kind of circular. accepting your privilege leads to respect when other people tell you they're HiPointDem Feb 2013 #273

It leads to social change in the sense that wickerwoman Feb 2013 #274

if people don't know better than to call each other racists and bitches, i doubt telling them HiPointDem Feb 2013 #275

I had no idea that "Aunt Nancy" was the LGBT equivalent of "Uncle Tom" KamaAina Feb 2013 #168

You seem to have brought the MRAs out in force intaglio Feb 2013 #179

sexism BainsBane Feb 2013 #193

MRAs? WilliamPitt Feb 2013 #236

Mens Rights Activists intaglio Feb 2013 #252

Thanks WilliamPitt Feb 2013 #269

I just wish the privileged would acknowledge it and SHUT UP FOR ONCE AngryAmish Feb 2013 #197

Notice the members of privileged groups in this very thread who took offense with your OP... YoungDemCA Feb 2013 #240

Re: the concept of privileged frazzled Feb 2013 #242

Okay, but what if you've listened to the opinion, and considered it, and thought about it. BlueCheese Feb 2013 #250

Your first point is interesting intaglio Feb 2013 #257

I guess what I see here is a lot of disagreement. BlueCheese Feb 2013 #258

You might choose not to have an opinion about it wickerwoman Feb 2013 #271

I think we agree more than we disagree. BlueCheese Feb 2013 #272

I'm nothing except me. babylonsister Feb 2013 #251