General Discussion

JustAnotherGen

(38,120 posts)

54. Nope

Thu Feb 28, 2013, 02:38 PM

Feb 2013

Not the fault of married people. But the fault of a government that favors and holds up marriage as the be all and end all.

Funny thing happened along the way of doing our 2012 taxes this year . . .

And on a Saturday morning I woke my husband up almost on the verge of tears after plugging in our numbers.

I showed him my screen.

He says, "What's that?"

Me, "I don't know. I've heard they exist but I've never seen one."

We got married this past April at 39 and 43. Both high earners without the baggage/dead weight of prior children/marriages dragging us down financially. We - as SINGLES always paid. There's alway some loophole. Even when as an opposite sex couple we LIVED together (NJ only recognizes domestic partners for the purpose of the renters tax credit, etc. etc. for same sex couples) - we didn't see that.

I've seriously never seen a Federal Refund in my adult life. Neither has my husband.

A funny thing happened in 2012 - we got married. Who knew marriage was such a profitable enterprise.

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Unmarried are invisible, forgotten [View all] Redfairen Feb 2013 OP

K/R (nt) NYC_SKP Feb 2013 #1

I still think we're coming out ahead Rochester Feb 2013 #2

yup Skittles Feb 2013 #3

Amen to that! n/t LadyHawkAZ Feb 2013 #8

Not if you find yourself unemployed in your fifties duffyduff Feb 2013 #18

Can I join you in the same boat? Boomerproud Mar 2013 #89

Every single day is a struggle duffyduff Mar 2013 #98

I'm unemployed, in my 50s and never been married Tempest Mar 2013 #101

You can only speak for yourself. I can tell you it is extremely difficult duffyduff Mar 2013 #108

Just missing the constant aggravation was a big deal for me Warpy Feb 2013 #28

not really if you are male hfojvt Feb 2013 #62

YES. We need justice for George Clooney! (nt) Nye Bevan Feb 2013 #4

When I still worked in offices as opposed to working from home TlalocW Feb 2013 #5

Haha! lovemydog Feb 2013 #50

As someone once told me - "Better to be single, than to wish you were." They were right. nt Mnemosyne Feb 2013 #6

Never heard that one before. Iggo Feb 2013 #7

I hadn't heard it before either, but it was like a lightbulb going off when I did. Mnemosyne Feb 2013 #9

We say JustAnotherGen Feb 2013 #53

That is a good one! I love being single, most of the time. I am very easy going and grew very tired Mnemosyne Feb 2013 #55

I loved it JustAnotherGen Feb 2013 #57

That is, indeed, very, very true! liberalhistorian Feb 2013 #13

I married the jerks, learned it the hard way. Of course, being raised by R's that believed women Mnemosyne Feb 2013 #22

I was single until my marriage at almost 43 liberalhistorian Feb 2013 #10

Amen to that... elzenmahn Feb 2013 #17

And amen to you--diPaulo's books are excellent. spooky3 Feb 2013 #71

ROFL snooper2 Feb 2013 #11

Hardy-har-har. Go ahead and joke about it, liberalhistorian Feb 2013 #15

okay... snooper2 Feb 2013 #16

Bring it up all you want... elzenmahn Feb 2013 #19

"Unmarried are invisible, forgotten" snooper2 Feb 2013 #21

You can take your singles night... elzenmahn Feb 2013 #24

no, I'm getting it, I'm starting to feel the plight.. snooper2 Feb 2013 #25

Yes, I was single until I was 27. I thought it was awful LeftInTX Feb 2013 #27

try being a 55 yr old woman! BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #34

55 year old fitman Feb 2013 #38

actually, I have done that--on the dating site BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #46

59, always single, and prefer it that way magical thyme Feb 2013 #44

.... BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #47

I know so many fitman Feb 2013 #58

I found there's a YMCA right near me BlancheSplanchnik Mar 2013 #72

Hello ~ fitman In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #73

Often the "decent guys" are decent enough, but BORING Lydia Leftcoast Mar 2013 #87

I find this to be true as well. alarimer Mar 2013 #97

So basically the majority of men are boring, and the majority of women Proles Mar 2013 #100

Plenty of boring women, especially the ones who can talk only about their kids Lydia Leftcoast Mar 2013 #112

Of course, fair enough. Proles Mar 2013 #115

I escaped three times from guys who resembled my pathological family dynamics. amandabeech Mar 2013 #75

I don't even try, I just left that behind treestar Mar 2013 #82

I have to laugh at guys like you Tempest Mar 2013 #102

LOL - You don't know the town I lived in LeftInTX Mar 2013 #110

My single years sucked also fitman Feb 2013 #36

I think they are referring more to older or lifetime singles treestar Mar 2013 #81

Some of the examples in the OP are not terribly useful. AtheistCrusader Feb 2013 #30

A few of my coworkers get to leave work early to attend school functions, sports games Apophis Mar 2013 #94

ROFL again snooper2 Mar 2013 #96

I don't ever get my holiday requests off. Apophis Mar 2013 #111

now I know why you are single... snooper2 Mar 2013 #113

You know, you're laughing at people complaining about this, Occulus Mar 2013 #116

There's a difference between equal rights for all.. snooper2 Mar 2013 #117

With that said Shankapotomus Feb 2013 #12

I'd have divorced, then remarried lovemydog Feb 2013 #52

Don't sell yourself short Shankapotomus Feb 2013 #56

Things are splendid now that lovemydog Feb 2013 #59

The psychologist and professor liberalhistorian Feb 2013 #14

A highly recommended read... elzenmahn Feb 2013 #26

As a liberal Christian, I can say you're generally liberalhistorian Feb 2013 #41

Good point treestar Mar 2013 #79

This is a big one, I think. KitSileya Mar 2013 #114

They didn't forget. What do you think the IRS is for? TheKentuckian Feb 2013 #20

Many of these violations are illegal and can result in lawsuits. Behind the Aegis Feb 2013 #23

Ok, it's not just me then. AtheistCrusader Feb 2013 #32

Bah. If they were all that important, they might find someone to love them. Bucky Feb 2013 #29

You tell 'em, Wanda!! Bucky Feb 2013 #31

The next frontier! MADem Feb 2013 #33

I hadn't realized that, not being from a military background or family, liberalhistorian Feb 2013 #39

Military people get paid less, too, if they are single. Family allowances are not insignificant, MADem Feb 2013 #64

The same is true in the corporate world. Staph Feb 2013 #65

Many companies fitman Mar 2013 #76

Married but childless. zanana1 Feb 2013 #35

You actually think it's different for single, childless people? GoCubsGo Feb 2013 #49

My wife and I have no kids fitman Mar 2013 #77

There is a huge theKed Feb 2013 #37

My favorite greeting upon entering a restaurant is namaste2 Feb 2013 #40

What sort of greeting would you recommend to help the host/ess Sheldon Cooper Feb 2013 #42

Hi Sheldon. namaste2 Feb 2013 #69

I hear ya! Sheldon Cooper Mar 2013 #74

I preempt that by walking up to the hostess and saying Lydia Leftcoast Mar 2013 #86

Hi Lydia~ namaste2 Mar 2013 #90

LOL, good for you! liberalhistorian Feb 2013 #43

I guess I can't figure out namaste2 Feb 2013 #70

Worse than "just One" I was seated at a big round table doc03 Mar 2013 #103

Interesting framing here as gay couples ARE unmarried, headlines about possible changes to the Bluenorthwest Feb 2013 #45

Don't forget those who are without dependent children Puzzledtraveller Feb 2013 #48

So there isn't enough animosity to go around? SomethingFishy Feb 2013 #51

Nope JustAnotherGen Feb 2013 #54

No one said it is the "fault of married people" treestar Mar 2013 #84

Right, no animosity in this thread... SomethingFishy Mar 2013 #88

Not to pick nits but -- Nuclear Unicorn Feb 2013 #60

Singles also die earlier nachosgrande Feb 2013 #61

It's not because of the "lifestyle" duffyduff Mar 2013 #99

Bella DePaolo's blog JustAnotherGen Feb 2013 #63

Thanks for posting that, it needs liberalhistorian Feb 2013 #66

Yes, I enjoyed reading it too lovemydog Feb 2013 #67

My own personal experience with singles' ministries Lydia Leftcoast Mar 2013 #85

Another thing treestar Mar 2013 #80

I Agree! JustAnotherGen Mar 2013 #93

Single and Childless. smirkymonkey Feb 2013 #68

Cheerfully child-free here too Larkspur Mar 2013 #83

I am single and childless. I am single because I am highly selective. bluestate10 Mar 2013 #91

I am also highly selective. smirkymonkey Mar 2013 #92

Single for most of my life. Richer for it when I was. In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #78

"Being single only had one drawback: lack of two warm arms to hold me" Tempest Mar 2013 #105

I have no family. no brothers or sisters. So you see where that leaves me. In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #109

The government doesn't care. The president has said time and time again he stands up for hard RB TexLa Mar 2013 #95

You are, of course, assuming he is using the narrow traditional family definition Tempest Mar 2013 #104

No one lives in my house with me. RB TexLa Mar 2013 #106

The IRS sure doesn't think you are invisible. I get doc03 Mar 2013 #107