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Nay

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37. My mom had made no arrangements for herself, so when she died, my brother and I had to

Sat Mar 2, 2013, 12:28 PM

Mar 2013

decide what to do. We were horrified at the costs. Neither of us was in any position to spend $15,000 on a funeral! We had mom cremated; I still have her urn, and when my brother and I actually see each other again (he is mostly overseas), we will scatter her ashes in one of her favorite places.

Ten years ago, a simple cremation was $1,000. And the funeral home tried to sell us a $6,000 casket along with that! And I know darn well they wouldn't have burned up a metal casket! My mom was a recluse and not a churchgoer, so we there would be no one to to come to a memorial and no where to have a memorial of any kind; my brother and i were her only remaining relatives. From what I hear here, THAT would have cost a mint, too.

We did place a nice obituary in the paper ($150!!) in case she had acquaintances we didn't know about. I feel we did the best we could under the circumstances, but what on earth does stuff cost now? I shudder to think.

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Highlight:

It says so much when a working family can't even afford to bury the dead [View all] xmas74 Mar 2013 OP

I buried my husband last year and trust me the whole.. Little Star Mar 2013 #1

It's awful. xmas74 Mar 2013 #3

Your post has bothered me so that I did a google search... Little Star Mar 2013 #10

I will definitely refer this over to them! xmas74 Mar 2013 #14

I tell everyone liberalmike27 Mar 2013 #65

Mom and Dad were 840high Mar 2013 #67

Both my husband and I are going to be cremated. We went to our local funeral home southernyankeebelle Mar 2013 #93

Just a suggestion..... Curmudgeoness Mar 2013 #108

Good suggestion - my 840high Mar 2013 #111

The mafia... awoke_in_2003 Mar 2013 #106

And in place of an actual funeral "service", could they throw a wake (unless there is some DeschutesRiver Mar 2013 #68

Many cremation locations also offer a service after the death. You have to some individuals lunasun Mar 2013 #134

((((Little Star)))) n/t Helen Reddy Mar 2013 #4

TY Little Star Mar 2013 #11

Same, didn't know. Sending hugs to you, too. freshwest Mar 2013 #61

TY Little Star Mar 2013 #88

I am sorry for your loss. HappyMe Mar 2013 #71

TY Little Star Mar 2013 #89

My husband and I have made a pact (set it in place via a legal trust/will) SoCalDem Mar 2013 #100

I am so into genealogy that I have been in the process of working... Little Star Mar 2013 #102

With so much online these days, an actual marker may soon be a thing of the past too SoCalDem Mar 2013 #105

And can't even afford the lower cost of cremation, either. Lars39 Mar 2013 #2

I remember reading The American Way of Death xmas74 Mar 2013 #6

Smart funeral home directors will start offering cheaper Lars39 Mar 2013 #25

That is exactly what my father did. former9thward Mar 2013 #32

That's what impressed him about it. xmas74 Mar 2013 #46

My husband donated his body to research. Demoiselle Mar 2013 #57

Cremation liberalmike27 Mar 2013 #66

Thanks, liberalmike27. Lars39 Mar 2013 #97

If that's the case customerserviceguy Mar 2013 #113

You can't cut back on air, she literally has no income coming in right now except food stamps. Lars39 Mar 2013 #114

Ok, I don't want anyone to starve customerserviceguy Mar 2013 #119

My parents did a pre-paid Helen Reddy Mar 2013 #5

She had so many problems xmas74 Mar 2013 #7

That is weird exboyfil Mar 2013 #9

For Medicaid, it's fine. xmas74 Mar 2013 #13

Medicaid or Medicare? MiniMe Mar 2013 #72

I probably meant Medicare for the age. xmas74 Mar 2013 #80

That is just plain immoral Helen Reddy Mar 2013 #19

I think you may want to recheck that fact. Frosty1 Mar 2013 #47

It's not the SSI. xmas74 Mar 2013 #51

You may be right Frosty1 Mar 2013 #63

There's a big fight right now xmas74 Mar 2013 #79

I hear you Frosty1 Mar 2013 #94

It's a good question about the liquidation xmas74 Mar 2013 #96

Transport, Casket, Embalming, exboyfil Mar 2013 #8

She was on disability. xmas74 Mar 2013 #12

must be different in pennsylvania dhol82 Mar 2013 #35

I'm in Missouri. xmas74 Mar 2013 #48

The caseworker was wrong! Frosty1 Mar 2013 #49

But states can place their own laws on the program. xmas74 Mar 2013 #54

Many can't even afford decent housing and food madokie Mar 2013 #15

She was on disability. xmas74 Mar 2013 #20

That is so sad madokie Mar 2013 #26

The cost of living doesn't compare to the cost of dying.... Spitfire of ATJ Mar 2013 #16

And since she was on disability xmas74 Mar 2013 #17

What gets me is they throw guilt at you for not forking over the cash.... Spitfire of ATJ Mar 2013 #30

The only positive part about this is that xmas74 Mar 2013 #82

I told everyone to just have a party.... Spitfire of ATJ Mar 2013 #116

It's a good attitude to have xmas74 Mar 2013 #118

What gets me is when you go to a cemetary and there is this big monument there... Spitfire of ATJ Mar 2013 #126

I don't know xmas74 Mar 2013 #129

I lived next to a cemetary with dates going back to the early 1800s.... Spitfire of ATJ Mar 2013 #137

I would spend weeks there, xmas74 Mar 2013 #143

This one has a prize.... Spitfire of ATJ Mar 2013 #146

That is incredible. xmas74 Mar 2013 #152

Here's the coorinates... Spitfire of ATJ Mar 2013 #156

Or even more than that. Initech Mar 2013 #76

We live in an exurb of the City of Rochester... Earth_First Mar 2013 #18

This is a common attitude towards pauper's fields. xmas74 Mar 2013 #24

Ever drive down I-95 outside of Secaucus, NJ? bluedigger Mar 2013 #58

Mother of God, you're joking! a la izquierda Mar 2013 #103

My parents had made the choice to be cremated.................. mrmpa Mar 2013 #21

It's just become too expensive xmas74 Mar 2013 #29

That is why it is too expensive. RC Mar 2013 #64

Exactly. xmas74 Mar 2013 #83

FWIW, some things I've been seeing people do to save money shrike Mar 2013 #22

Cremation used to be so cheap xmas74 Mar 2013 #33

We skipped the funeral and all for Gram Viva_La_Revolution Mar 2013 #74

That happens all too often. I have made sure that both my disabled daughter and myself have prepaid jwirr Mar 2013 #23

That's a good thing. xmas74 Mar 2013 #84

It's a damn shame. Solly Mack Mar 2013 #27

it used to be cheaper to bury the dead hfojvt Mar 2013 #28

Cremation used to be so cheap xmas74 Mar 2013 #34

$700 on February 1st in Spokane. $22 for a death certificate from the county.Per copy. n/t jtuck004 Mar 2013 #40

That's in Spokane. xmas74 Mar 2013 #43

There's an echo in here. jtuck004 Mar 2013 #56

If I had a large enough vehicle I would do the transport myself xmas74 Mar 2013 #86

I don't mean to be irreverent Frosty1 Mar 2013 #95

Yes I do. xmas74 Mar 2013 #98

I had forgotten about that. Frosty1 Mar 2013 #104

It's terribly hard, I know. And as they are going through their grief process, they jtuck004 Mar 2013 #115

Look up "excarnation" some time. Spitfire of ATJ Mar 2013 #41

Our cremation for my husband was over 2,000 dollars. I had a memorial service for him juajen Mar 2013 #73

How kind. I am touched by the generosity of your friends. smirkymonkey Mar 2013 #120

That's what we did for my parents... Hekate Mar 2013 #122

The funeral industry preys on the grief-stricken when they can least handle things LiberalEsto Mar 2013 #31

+1 handmade34 Mar 2013 #36

My mom had made no arrangements for herself, so when she died, my brother and I had to Nay Mar 2013 #37

My brother Pinkie died in October sorefeet Mar 2013 #38

$3000 is a decent price xmas74 Mar 2013 #87

My father passed away last year... Dr Hobbitstein Mar 2013 #39

win win organ donor bocaoma Mar 2013 #42

Have you contacted these people in your state? lunatica Mar 2013 #44

I just finally looked at this xmas74 Mar 2013 #55

Believe it or not, $1,000 is an impossible amount of money for a poor family. bluestate10 Mar 2013 #107

I do understand that lunatica Mar 2013 #110

In writing about the miseries of the people in the East End of London at the jtuck004 Mar 2013 #45

What you are really saying is that they can not afford to dispose of a body. peace13 Mar 2013 #50

If it had not been for Vet's benefits I would not have been able to have my father cremated 1-Old-Man Mar 2013 #52

Veterans shanti Mar 2013 #124

This is America! Rosa Luxemburg Mar 2013 #53

Yeah, it is America... love_katz Mar 2013 #140

A friend of mine recently buried her father... RevStPatrick Mar 2013 #59

Thanks for the link. . . Journeyman Mar 2013 #139

My wife and I have the same plan for each other- cremation, no service, no visitation, no urn. X_Digger Mar 2013 #60

My parents have a similar plan set up for themselves. Mariana Mar 2013 #62

I thought about being incorporated into an artificial reef.. X_Digger Mar 2013 #70

So do we. Prepaid plan, with the ashes of the first to go saved until the other one does. Then, bike man Mar 2013 #69

San Diego COunty has a Indigent Burial & Cremation Program Hatchling Mar 2013 #75

It's ugly in the pediatric hospice business. You can't get grants to help pay for funeral costs. mucifer Mar 2013 #77

I've heard this before from a friend who used to work xmas74 Mar 2013 #78

When my aunt died, my uncle had no life insurance on her notadmblnd Mar 2013 #81

My Mother went for cremation . Lady Freedom Returns Mar 2013 #85

for the price of a funeral and burial etc. elehhhhna Mar 2013 #90

not even an urn... janlyn Mar 2013 #91

My mother donated her body to the Medical College of Va. dgibby Mar 2013 #92

Carwashes/bake sales/marches for cancer treatment..begging for funeral expenses SoCalDem Mar 2013 #99

What pisses me off is if the family wants to see the loved one, any visitation Autumn Mar 2013 #101

That is horrible; I'm so sorry. Our experience with my mother was much, much kinder Hekate Mar 2013 #148

I recently read The American Way of Death Revisited by Jessica Mitford prole_for_peace Mar 2013 #109

I read it years ago. xmas74 Mar 2013 #117

It is such a scam. prole_for_peace Mar 2013 #157

I read an article once about death midwives xmas74 Mar 2013 #158

. blkmusclmachine Mar 2013 #112

Our grandbaby's funeral cost about $1,000. Cremation, no cemetery plot, church service & reception. Hekate Mar 2013 #121

I spoke with the friend. xmas74 Mar 2013 #123

Hugs to you all Hekate Mar 2013 #147

Funerals have been giant rip-offs RudynJack Mar 2013 #125

She revisited the subject in 1996 xmas74 Mar 2013 #130

Yes she did. RudynJack Mar 2013 #135

Wages have been allowed to fall too far over the last 40 years Warpy Mar 2013 #127

Good luck with the wages. xmas74 Mar 2013 #132

Most of the problems facing this country Warpy Mar 2013 #138

I know that and you know that xmas74 Mar 2013 #144

My mother and father want to be cremated and no service at all. hrmjustin Mar 2013 #128

my country's government pays death benefits to help with funeral riverbendviewgal Mar 2013 #131

If only this was an option xmas74 Mar 2013 #133

Social Security pays a small benefit here... Historic NY Mar 2013 #136

There's a big difference between $255 and the $2500 mentioned xmas74 Mar 2013 #142

It did for me riverbendviewgal Mar 2013 #161

My mother, who had been a nurse, SheilaT Mar 2013 #141

They've decided on the most inexpensive cremation they can find xmas74 Mar 2013 #145

Can you give us a link to their donation account Mortos Mar 2013 #149

I will give out the link via pm. xmas74 Mar 2013 #153

The funeral industry is a money grubbing racket. alphafemale Mar 2013 #150

Exactly. nt xmas74 Mar 2013 #154

Funerals are free, burials optional michigandem58 Mar 2013 #151

They decided on cremation xmas74 Mar 2013 #155

My uncle recently went through this. Le Taz Hot Mar 2013 #159

In this case, xmas74 Mar 2013 #160