If men could get pregnant

[davidthegnome]

59. No. It isn't an abstract problem for men.

At least, not for all men.

When my girlfriend was pregnant some years ago now, she was also having some rather serious health issues. We weren't quite sure what caused them, there was some suggestion that it might be cancer, requiring chemo and so on. What she most likely would have done, had this been the case, is abort. This is for a variety of reasons that I don't need to get into here. Though I had long considered myself progressive and pro-choice, the very idea that she might have an abortion was overwhelming for me.

I was a young (soon to be - maybe) father, but I was proud and eager. She was a young (soon to be - maybe) mother who was much the same. The primary issue was not "dithering about the morality or other issues", it was the very possible, very real consequences of serious illness that might have denied a young couple they very much wanted to have. I don't know how I would have reacted had she had the abortion, had the biopsy determined that she was suffering from an immediate threat (she had a benign tumor) and thus would be a good candidate for the chemo.

As it turned out, she gave birth to a very healthy infant. I was there every step of the way - and cannot imagine a more wonderful or magical feeling than that of suddenly discovering that you're a parent... that your life will never be the same.

All that said, what the experience ultimately did for me was strengthen my pro-choice stance (everyone has a right to make decisions about their own body), but it also granted me an understanding of what it might be like to personally have to cope with an abortion. It's not something I'd wish on anyone, but it is certainly a woman's right to choose in any circumstance.

This isn't an abstract problem for all of us. Some have undoubtedly had more difficult experiences than I have, especially women who had spouses, significant others, or families who were not supportive of their rights. While I can't understand the issue from the point of view of a woman, it is far from abstract to me.