General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: Patton Oswalt: What gun owners think they look like... [View all]The Magistrate
(95,242 posts)One expects you have heard that before.
As an exercise in creative writing, I would have to say your 'story of my bad-ass life' tale shows some promise, but needs a good deal of work for real verisimilitude. A couple of suggestions for improvement, and a general comment. It would be wise to claim ( admit ) to an arrest or two, even a conviction and some jail time; you describe yourself as moving in circles a man will not get far in, or deep into, without some such to his credit. There is no need to hide or be ashamed of such things; everyone will understand. 'Rubbing elbows' is the sort of thing people think sounds good at first, but which sounds tinnier and tinnier on reflection; it is meant to suggest close association, social intimacy, but it could just as easily be said by a caddy as a bridge partner. You need something that better establishes you in a relation of equality with these millionaires and elites. Hob-nob is a bit much, but is more in the right direction. In general, the weakness is the lack of telling detail. Compressing your account does not let you off the writer's obligation to provide a telling detail or two to bring the thing to life for your reader, make your reader see it through your eyes. It is getting just the right detail, and getting it into just the right place, that is the trick, to making your reader feel your truth. Like anything else, it takes practice, but it sounds like you may have the time.