Ok, I have to admit something.

[Rhiannon12866]

36. I hear what you're saying

And I hear that a lot. Many people start out saying they need to get sober for their parents/child/spouse. But what I've learned is that AA is a "selfish program." You have to decide that you have to do it for yourself. Only after doing it for yourself can you be there for other people.

The group that really made a difference for me was a women's group. That's where I learned the most and found the most support - and a sponsor. There are numerous women there with over 20 years, but they keep coming back because that's what keeps them sober. And we are able to share things that we probably couldn't with anyone else. Women understand.

I hope that you can find that kind of support for yourself, though it appears that you already have it on DU. Another thing I've learned is that DUers are the kindest, most compassionate people in the world. I keep coming back here, too, have for over 10 years, since DU keeps me grounded, too, and has become my home.

We all have obligations, wishes and pressures, but you need to take care of yourself first. Only then can you be there for other people, including family. I think you already know that concept, but you have to want it. I did, which is the reason I'm still here today. It does get better. I have seen the miracle happen and I wish that so much for you...